7 Simple Priceless Ways to Keep a Positive Attitude when you feel Negative

keep a positive attitude

In a world where suicides resulting from stress and depression are on the rise, what price would you pay to keep a positive attitude?  

Maybe there isn’t. But to some extent, a long positive life doesn’t come on a silver platter. There is a way you could go about things in your life to make you stay positive. 

According to the World Health Organization, depression is a common mental disorder. It affects over 264 million people of all ages across the world. It’s also a major contributor to the global disease burden. However, you shouldn’t confuse it with typical mood fluctuations and mild stress levels arising from everyday challenges. 

WHO also reports that 800,000 people commit suicide every year. Suicide is the second leading cause of death in the world among 15-29-year-olds. 

Your mental health is key for your survival. Your thoughts are your source of your life. Learn to master them and you have solved 80% of the problems in your life. Your heart is the wellspring of life. Here, we give you simple but kick ass tips that will keep you positive and living longer. 

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1. Keep a Positive Attitude through Hope

According to the Merriam Webster, Dictionary, hope as a doing word  is to cherish a desire with anticipation. As a noun, from the same source, hope is desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfilment. 

The opposite of hope is despair. You may despair because you feel life has no meaning anymore. Still, you could lose hope because of trouble in your life that made you suffer. 

On the same note, you could lose your hope because of a series of empty promises from both friends and enemies. 

But I’m here to tell you to keep the hope. Keep it because it will protect you when people may want to take advantage of your desperate situation. 

You need to keep the hope because it will help you envision something beautiful out of life. According to the American psychology Association, children who grew up in poverty and ended up being successful had one thing in common: Hope 

2. Handle Criticism in a Healthier Way

Criticism is the act of finding fault in someone or something. In most cases, criticism is never about the receiver but the person speaking it. How many times in your life have you shied away from what you want to do in life because of the fear of criticism? 

Often, fear of criticism leads to impassivity, sucking the joy and life out of you. Nevertheless, you shouldn’t fear criticism, but you would rather handle it in a healthier way. 

Often, fear of criticism leads to impassivity, sucking the joy and life out of you. Nevertheless, you shouldn’t fear criticism, but you would rather handle it in a healthier way. 

Diving deep and further, you can learn to handle criticism in a healthier way rather than running away from it. 

For instance, some comments can be a criticism if we take them to the heart or make them personal. On the contrary, you can make the situation less tense by laughing the comments off. 

At best, it is good not to reply but let go. But if you must reply, you may want to start with a question to hear the criticism once more.  To add on, you could turn the criticism into a positive situation for you or make it a light moment. 

3. Turn the Negatives thrown at you into Positives

To keep a positive attitude even when feeling negative, you need to take control of your mind. Be strong mentally. Just as negativity is all around us, positivity is also there. The key takeaway here is to have a mind that is flexible. 

If a situation turns out to be negative and less of what you expected, remain collected, sober and figure out what you should do next. It’s easier to figure out Plan B when you are still collected. 

It also helps to have positive comments for negative remarks thrown at you. Of course, you are not a computer that has a line of thought for every word that people feed into your ears. But having a word that turns out a negative remark for your good makes you feel a lot better.

Turning the negatives into positives also means pushing the negative thoughts out of your mind. Yes, they can pass by but don’t allow them to settle. 

4. Avoid Self-Condemning Thoughts

It’s good to take responsibility for your silly decisions or mistakes in life, but it’s never healthy to blame yourself. Tell me of one person who doesn’t make mistakes and I will show you a ghost. 

You must come to terms with the fact that every day in your life is an opportunity for you to rebuild your self-image. Whether you sucked or embarrassed yourself the day before, having the courage to pick yourself up and get moving is what makes the difference.

So, learn to keep a positive attitude by filling your mind with good thoughts about yourself. 

For instance, if you are a believer and study the Christian Bible, then you must know Christ died for you on the cross while you were still a sinner. 

Christ forgave you and imputed God’s righteousness on you. If you catch yourself sinning or falling into sin, always tell yourself you are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus and eventually you will be. Isn’t it written the righteous will live by faith? 

Self-condemning thoughts hardly add any value to you but take out all the positivity in you, leaving you deflated. Think well about you. 

5. Find Positivity Within you

My script about keeping a positive attitude may not be of much help to you if you won’t discover the positivity you carry within. 

Further, all of us are born positive until when we allow negative life experiences to shape our mentalities. If you carry positivity within you, negative situations or experiences will not linger on you for long because they will have to find another like environment to go. 

By nature you are positive. But most people refuse to hold on to this reality and listen to what the world will tell them they are. 

Put another way, you are God’s creation, fearfully and wonderfully made. Whether people categorize you as beautiful or ugly, it won’t negate the fact that God created you wonderfully. Find solace in the positivity within you. 

6. Tell Yourself it Could be Worse

You could be the most pious person or a fugitive, but none of your statuses could make you immune of daily life challenges. Accidents occur in our lives from time to time. But somehow, somewhat, you always find yourself alive again to tell your story. 

The main issue is, we don’t have insurance for negative life events. 

Anytime you find yourself in a situation that is so hard to bear, always tell yourself you are lucky because it could have been worse. 

To the best of my knowledge, the worst that could happen in your life is when you lose your life. Anything else that doesn’t kill strengthens you.

7. Find your Purpose in Life

Purpose is the reason why something exists. What’s the reason for your existence? The key to keep a positive attitude is to discover the reason you exist. 

Besides anything else, discovering your purpose in life is the greatest thing you’ll ever find. The world is full of successful people who are devoid of purpose. Despite the affluence and the mega lifestyle they live, they always find themselves unfulfilled and feeling empty. 

Yes, money will make life easier for you but it won’t fulfill you because you will keep looking for it even after you have made your billions. Come to think of it, materialism and fame also fall in the same category with money. 

Your true purpose in life is not inward facing. It’s outward. You are in the world for a reason and finding that reason is the best fulfillment. What do people say about you?  Or what do you find easier doing? Getting answers to these questions could kick-start your journey to discovering your purpose. 

Summing Up

To keep a positive attitude is a matter of choice. You have the power to do it. Keeping a positive attitude is not all about smiling and looking good. It’s something deeper that comes from within you. Make the choice today of observing the positive heart-warming list and see yourself live a life of positive attitude. 

Dying to Self to Live for Christ

Dying to self and Living for Christ

Hey there, what does the term dying to self mean?

It means to let go your old way of life and embrace someone else’s life.

I want to tickle your mind today with an interesting conversation. Imagine your health has failed you completely. You are on the verge of death. But just as you are about to breathe your last, a stranger comes over and offers to die for you instead.

If this stranger gives his life for you, it means you can no longer live for yourself. You die to self and live for him.

This may sound ridiculous and an out of this world conversation. But think for a moment if someone was to offer you his life to redeem yours. Wouldn’t it just be amazing to be given your life back freely?

And more interesting will be the fact that the stranger who volunteered his life for you never asked for anything in return.

God’s Salvation Plan

What you will find out is that there is somebody who died for you already. That somebody has a name, and I refer to him as Jesus Christ. Through his death, he granted you eternal life. Dying to self comes with no sacrifice. All you have to do is believe in the one man who gave his life for you.

Let me break this down further for you.

God, the creator, created the first man, Adam, and his companion Eve. He placed them in the garden of Eden and gave them some rules to live by. But because of deception from the devil, Eve was deceived and also convinced her husband to eat the fruit from the forbidden fruit.

The consequence of disobedience was that Adam and Eve lost fellowship with God and he chased them from the garden of Eden. God out of his love and mercy shed blood from a lamb and covered their nakedness with the sheep’s skin.

Now, every human being who lives on planet earth is a descendant from the fallen state of the first man, Adam. And so through one man’s disobedience, they made all humans sinners.

Romans 5:19

For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.

So man now has a sinful nature and there is nothing he can do to get rid of that sinful nature. He is dead to self. He doesn’t have the capacity nor the wherewithal to get rid of sin. But God is a loving and just God and he had a plan in place for human failings.

So God sends his only begotten son, Jesus Christ, to restore man back to fellowship with him. We have to understand one thing here. That God is a Spirit and those who worship him must worship in Spirit and truth.

John 4:24


God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.

The first man Adam before his fall had fellowship with God through all the time. But after his fall, he became like one dead and lost his fellowship with God. His Spirit lost fellowship with God.

Great. Up to this point, let’s read the following verse:

John 3:16

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

So man is still a sinner only if he fails to renounce his sins by repenting and believing in the son of God, Jesus Christ. Because why did Christ come.

Let’s read the following key verse:

Isaiah 53:5

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.

Through his sufferings, death on the cross, and resurrection, all sinners are forgiven of their sins, and their transgressions are remembered no more. And so Christ died for the sinner who had no life that he may have eternal life. And also through his death there is healing, deliverance and justification.

Dying to Self

Here is my question. Do you have a desire to know Christ and be in fellowship with him? It calls for dying to self. Repent of your sins today and believe in the finished work of the Cross and you will be saved.

Here is what happens when you welcome Christ into your life:

2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

If you have more questions about Jesus and the message of the cross, please reach out to me via the following contact details. Dying to self to embrace mastership to someone can only occur by faith.

Here is a Prayer of Faith in Jesus Christ

Heavenly Father,

I believe Jesus Christ is the Son of God. He died on the Cross for all my sins. He died on the Cross for all my sins and you raised him from the dead for my justification.

Jesus Christ is my Lord and my Savior. In him, I have everlasting life. All my sins, past, present, and future are forgiven.

You have filled me with the Holy Spirit. The Spirit of Power, Love, and a Sound Mind. Thank you, Lord Jesus, and from now on I will live a life where my Spirit and my body will glorify you.

Keep my body strong. Keep my body healthy. I want to serve you with my body. Keep me young for your glory. In Jesus name Amen.

Celebrate Jesus, for he has purchased you with His precious blood. You have died to self and now alive in him.

Rape: A Recurring Agony Society Isn’t Ready to Deal with Yet

Two days ago, as I skimmed through my emails, I came across an email that had just skipped me by.

It was not one of the regular mails or subscriptions I receive daily. No, not those. It was about rape: a recurring agony in society today.

My eyes quickly got the allure, and I clicked the unread email in my inbox.

Sex is Sacred but See This

The charm was the word Sexual Violence. I was curious to find out what is this someone offered me on sexual violence.

Okay, to cut the chase, guess what? It was an offer for a review of an e-book about Sexual Violence, hope, and healing titled – To The Survivors

This is a subject I have never explored myself, even though it’s deeply engraved in society.

And so, thanks to Robert Uttaro A.K.A Bobby, I plunged into the unchartered. So while doing some research on personal development blogs, Robert bumped into my blog.

That’s where we hit it off. Now, here is the sad truth, sexual violence affects not only the body. It also affects many facets of your well-being, including your mind, heart, and soul.

Rape: A Recurring Agony-Which Category do you identify with

The bigger question here is from what perspective do you understand the subject of sexual violence or rape: a recurring agony in society. Are you a victim, perpetrator, a witness, a counselor or both?

The latter two may never understand the agony the former went through. There are a lot of issues surrounding rape incidence, healing, and recovery. You will be left wondering how can a rape victim go through it all?

And just to give you a picture of what transpires after these are the potential effects of sexual violence that may last years after:

NightmaresDisbeliefVulnerability
ShockChanges in sleeping patternsSafety concerns
ShameConfusionDifficulty concentrating
GuiltStartle responsesChanges in eating patterns
SadnessFearDepression
AnxietyAngerBecoming suicidal
EmbarrassmentLoss of ControlDistrust
Effects of Sexual violence

There is also the other question on the perpetrator. What leads them to commit the act?

Do they always feel guilty about it or the act become their way of life? Do they need therapy as well? Surely they do.

Have you witnessed a rape incident before? How did this make you feel about life and the whole situation? How you respond reflects your state of wellbeing towards this subject.

Ask yourself how do you understand the subject of rape: a recurring agony in society. A few questions to ask yourself would be Who is a rape victim? And maybe what would make someone start sex with someone else without their consent?

The fact is statistics on rape cases aren’t damn right as their many instances of rape cases that go unrecorded.

The victim, the perpetrator, and the witness all turn out to be rape survivors. And society needs to address all these groups satisfactorily if we are all to arrive at an amicable solution.

Rape Myths Demystified

A rapist in the words of Bobby is not the typical lunatic hiding in a bush somewhere, nor the bloodshot guy you see across the streets.

If that is your mental picture of a rapist, I don’t blame you. I used to have that in mind too until I met Robert.

Many are times rape victims get violated by people they know. I’m saying this through a counselor’s eye who has had to withhold so many tear droplets while listening to harrowing stories of rape survivors.

Many attested to the fact that the people who violated them were close family members, men of the clock, acquaintances, colleagues and the list was endless.

A rapist is not the out of mind, unkempt fool you could think of right now. A good case in point is being sexually graded by your University lecturer who threatens to withhold your marks if you don’t fall for their antics.

I’m sure you will agree with me that society has not been very supportive of giving solace to rape victims. First, because few believe rape survivors, let alone listen to them. Imagine a situation where a smartly dressed lady shows up at a police station to report that somebody raped her.

The police somehow will doubt her story and begin asking the questions that appear to blame her. Perpetrators appear so innocent and can be pleasant men and women in society, which makes it hard for people to believe they can perform such a heinous act. This video sheds more light on the matter.

The other mental picture that we put into our minds when we hear of a rape victim is a torn dress, bruised limbs, bleeding, and unkempt hair. While this is a potential scenario, not all rape incidences turn survivors into such a state. And so it becomes very easy not to believe a rape survivor when he or she comes smartly dressed and tells you they were raped.

We are also wrong to have the lop-sided view that 99% of rape victims are women. Both sexes are prone to rape, and being a victim is not anyone’s fault. So it’s never about women and girls alone, but men and boys too.

How Should Society Support Rape Survivors?

The justice system has never been the best avenue in supporting victims of rape cases. After having gone through the devastating and shameful experiences, the justice system usually subjects them to another lengthy process of identifying and testifying against the perpetrator.

Worst of it all is the fact that without a witness, the rape case will collapse and the perpetrator will walk Scot-free to lay hold on another innocent soul.

What rape survivors need is the best therapy they could find to take them through the healing process. This brings me to the acronym BLESS.

In the words of Robert, society should support rape survivors by

  • Believing in them.
  • Listen: Pay attention to them if they need to cry or talk.
  • Empathize with them.
  • Safety: Take care of their physical, emotional, spiritual safety.
  • Support: Give them support in whatever way they need.

To find out more about Robert’s work and what he has written about Rape Survivors, I will refer you to his E-book: To the Survivors that you can find through this Amazon link.

Let’s discuss this in the comments below

Best Wishes.

The Corona Pandemic and 8 Lessons to Learn

Hey guys, I have been away for some time. And you may have asked yourself at some point where I disappeared to. But that shouldn’t bother you much today. I will talk about the Corona pandemic today.

Well, I got into freelance writing projects and other brick and mortar engagements. These have kept me off this blog for a while. 

Not that I got disinterested in writing, reading, and also coding- a recent interest lately. 

Let me guess, you could be asking yourself what I’m reading now. Well, I have 3 books that I’m reading concurrently. But what has touched me most is one by Robert Uttaro. 

He narrates on rape survivors’ cases that many never get to know about. That’s a story for another day. 

I can almost hear you thinking what is my endpoint. 

We are facing unprecedented times brought about by the Corona Virus–COVID-19. There is a concerted effort by governments the world over to contain the virus.

Precautionary Measures in Place

Many have put precautionary measures in place that are now obvious at the fingertips and lips of every sane human being. 

A few to mention include:

  • Washing your hands with soap and running water for 20 seconds.
  • Sneeze and Cough on a flexed elbow, handkerchief, or tissue paper.
  • Maintain social distancing, and avoid crowds.
  • Drink lots of water to keep your throat moist. 
  • Avoid the handshake. 
  • Sticking to plastic money, mobile money while avoiding cash transactions.

Now, this is important. 

What lessons can we draw from the Corona pandemic hitting the world today?

  1. The Corona pandemic hitting the world is not the first and the last. Several others came with death in their wake and vanished. So Corona is there for a season and will soon disappear. 
  2. It’s not a disease that is tied to a particular race of people. So it’s not about a “Chinese virus” but a world pandemic that is threatening to sink planet earth.
  3. Health starts with you. So make sure you always maintain high hygiene levels. Exercise. Eat well and always go for routine checkups whether or not there is Corona pandemic. 
  4. Love is good, but the ones you love can be your downfall. Take care to not inflict your family with the virus.
  5. As human beings, we can give ourselves everything but not life. The creator, God is the only giver of life. Having neighbors is good but always know your boundaries and learn to say NO. 
  6. Always have some savings around for such unprecedented times. 
  7. Catastrophic problems unite the world and make it go round.\
  8. You can be flexible enough to work from home. This is my next post. Stay tuned.

Final Thoughts

World governments are facing hard times in containing the COVID-19 virus. And some with better resources are giving support to other governments. Case of China and Italy. 

The country’s economies will feel the bite. It has forced mainstream businesses to close to avoid overcrowding. 

But guess what your health is more important than the many things you are worried about. Just make sure you are staying safe and never say die. 

Landing a Job Today is Easy with these 7 Tips

landing a job
landing a job |Image courtesy: practicalmoneyskills.com

Is landing a job a familiar phrase, or it arouses feelings of anger in you? And you are just thinking about how much of a loser you have become.

You have been burning the midnight oil drafting C.Vs only for them to end up in a dustbin.

Well, it’s not like I have a job to offer you now but I’m here to walk you through this and perhaps if not possibly make you land your dream job. Or at worse, get a job towards that trajectory.

Landing a Job: The Status Quo

More than ever, literacy levels are up and high. Institutions of higher learning are churning out graduates in various fields into the job market.

Unfortunately for them, it’s one of the worst times to seek employment. Corporate Kenya is ailing and job cuts by companies are a common trend today.

Neither are the employed any safer. Pay rise and promotions are becoming rare by the day.

More than ever, literacy levels are up and high, institutions of higher learning are churning out graduates in various fields into the job market. Unfortunately for graduates, it’s one of the worst times to seek employment.

It’s no longer a surprise to be hit by worrisome newspaper headlines. They are now part of the trending news.

Why Kenya is trapped in a debt spiral

Alarm as 388 Kenyan firms dissolved in 6 months

Kenyans with Ksh 100,000 in bank fall to thirteen year low

All these a clear indicator that the Kenyan economy has seen better days.

Companies are tightening their budgets by the day as a measure to stagnate the wage bill. This is also to help safeguard their profit margins.

Some have never recovered fully from the aftermath of bungled elections in 2007. Brick and mortar corporations and organizations like Posta Kenya are on the brink of extinction.

The digital era now strides colossally in the communication space.

Unlike in the ’70s and ’80s when fresh graduates would be in the payroll system a few days after graduation, the situation today is one to be pitied.

As the cliche goes, tarmacking and gambling are the norm today as the youth resort to unethical methods of sustaining their livelihoods. How then is landing a job something achievable in the status quo?

If you are still with me, that’s great. It’s time to cut the chase and hit the nail on the head.

Job Warfare

You need to understand that this is not a surefire strategy that is guaranteed to land you a job today.

However, chances are that it will give you a fresh perspective of things and help you towards changing your fortunes.

The job market today is no longer about sending resumes but building connections through networking. So, the number one secret to landing a job today is to

Network

Network by building reliable connections that guarantee you results someday.

Linkedin is a suitable site to start you off. You want to have a strong profile that lists your skill set and work experience that will make potential employers come knocking.

Volunteer

You lose nothing by choosing to volunteer. Some have volunteered for organizations like the RED CROSS and got to land lucrative job opportunities.

Referrals

This is more or less like leveraging on your connections to sell you to potential employers they know.

Once you make them aware of your key competencies, it would be easier for them to sell you to the best opportunity available.

Skill-match your CV

Tailor-make your resume to suit the skills and experience a potential employer is looking for.

Sending a blanket cover letter and resume to potential employers is a guaranteed way to making sure that you land no job.

The takeaway here is to make sure you create a resume that matches the skill set an employer is looking for.

For instance, a banking experience would be irrelevant in the medical field.

Avoid Being Choosy

Yes, I know you are a computer scientist from a reputable university. But just because someone is offering you a job out of your field is not enough reason to throw it down the drain.

Often, life will hand to you what you don’t want before you get what you want.

Grab that first opportunity and use it as a leverage to network, and build meaningful connections.

Their pay may be meager, but over time it’s bound to increase. It’s no longer a secret that some top company employees first began as casual workers in their organizations. Start with the end goal in mind.

Consider Self-employment

If you are a technician, a chef, a plumber, or painter you can as well self employ yourself and build yourself a business that will help employ other people. These skill sets are rarely taught in Kenyan universities but in polytechnics and tertiary institutions. Find a skill your hand can do.

Make yourself Valuable

I know you have a degree or a master’s in a given field. You are very proud of it but hey! Education is just part of the endless learning process.

You never stop learning and researching unless you want to expire sooner. Always make yourself relevant in your field of specialization. You can do this by attending workshops, conferences, and studying more.

Bottom Line

In searching for a job today, it’s not only about writing the perfect C.V. Focus your energy on building meaningful workplace connections. You can be sure this will be a significant investment that will pay off someday. Follow the tips we offer you today and it won’t be long before you stop filling a loser. Share this with a friend and encourage someone on the path of landing a job.

A Call to Integrity in Society

integrity

What is your definition of integrity? And do you think integrity is something achievable or a mere pipe dream? For the society to embrace integrity, it calls for personal responsibility on your part and mine. The call to integrity fast starts with you.

Once you get the gist of it, you have the responsibility of transferring it to your family. Family is the smallest unit of a society. From the family units, we can transfer integrity to the entire society fabric.

A Friend’s Testimony on Integrity

A wonderful friend whom I will call Jack once visited a learning institution armed with tender documents to seek a hand in the tender bidding process.

Jack was born in Western Kenya but lives and makes his ends meet in Nairobi. Apparently, it wasn’t his business venture applying for the tender deal but his uncle’s.

Jack was helping his uncle by dropping the application documents for tender at the designated institution.

Jack walks into the institution in the mid-morning hours at about 9:00 AM. At the office where he is to submit the tender documents, he finds a line of other tenderpreneurs also lined up hoping to get a share of the pie.

A Doctored Tender Process

One by one, each person gets to go through the due process. Once they verify your documents, down you deposit your tender documents and off you leave.

Like the lawful chap he is, Jack stands at the queue patiently till his turn comes. But he keeps having this eerie feeling something isn’t right.

Given the social person he is, Jack immediately strikes a conversation with the tender officer and it suddenly hits the roof like they had known each other for ages.

The Call to Integrity Dilemma

Well, the typical Jack is known for being curious about things and about everything.

Deep down, Jack feels the tender bidding process could all be a formality. He thinks the tender board will issue the tender out unilaterally to one applicant.

All this is an internal monologue running in his mind until he pops up the question of the day to the tender officer.

And on Jack goes, “Do you think the tender application process is fair and transparent?” The tender officer responds, “What do you expect?” He pauses. “Do you expect it to be fair?”

He continues to which Jack responds to the contrary. Frankly, the tender officer gives Jack an answer to suggest that life is all about cutting corners and if you aren’t cutting any, then you are at the tail end.

Until we see the call to integrity as a personal responsibility, we shall not achieve the war on eradicating it from society.

To drive his point home, the officer pauses to Jack a question, “In campus, weren’t their guys who used to cheat during exams?” 

Jack responds in the affirmative but says he wasn’t among them. The officer then shoots him a question of comparison.

“Where are they and where are you know?” Jack smiles at the question and maintains an honest path. Whatever their level of success or affluence they have, Jack insists he would still walk the honest path.

In the mainstream media, news is not just news if it’s not bad news. For instance, dishonest headlines that affect our integrity have bedecked our news headlines in the recent past.

Some headlines the media bombard us with include:

Government failing to halt upsurge in graft”

Rotich Corruption case a first in Kenya”

“US blames corruption for slowing down foreign investment in Kenya.”

For such a great nation like Kenya to lower down her values to this level, one is left wondering where the rains started beating us. Are our religious leaders zealous on the call to integrity in the society today.

For such a great nation like Kenya to lower down her values to this level, one is left wondering where the rains started beating us.

It’s only in 2017, that a report by Transparency international classified Kenyans as “willing to pay bribes to access key services.”

The Integrity Issue in Society

In our daily living, life floods us with many opportunities to lie, cheat, and steal.

Unfortunately, moral values in our society today have decayed to the point of someone selling you meat laced with inhumane chemicals without having a pricked conscience.

Today, the maxim is: steal, cheat, and lie as long as you don’t get caught. It’s like something only becomes wrong when you get caught.

The milk vendor lies right to your face about how fresh their milk is. What about the cloth sewer who gives you empty promises on your cloth material?

It has suddenly become very easy to speak the white lie without blinking an eye.

What of the contractor who promises you pure gold on your building project only to deliver shoddiness?

The dishonest culture is getting so deep that even the few good left are made to appear bad. Nevertheless, we should not relent to our call to integrity in society today.

Similarly, promises nowadays are emptier and unfulfilled that any other time in history.

What makes men today to find pleasure in being dishonest, lying, and give promises they know they wouldn’t deliver. 

Well, you could say they cutting corners to make ends meet, evade a tax regulation or they are on a get rich quick scheme. Above all else, they want to protect their interests.

A Biblical Perspective

Whatever background you come from or philosophies you hold onto, allow me to shift your perspective about the larger issue surrounding honesty and integrity.

In the Bible, we had the nation of Israel that was once enslaved in North African country called Egypt.

And when the good Lord had delivered them and set them free from their captors, they began their journey to the Promised Land.

After much turbulence, oppositions and wars, the Israelites finally settled in the promised land.

The Lord began setting new rules that would define and govern the birth and beginning of a new nation called Israel. 

That said, the Lord set 10 commandments for them. From the commandments, we see that the element of cheating, lying, and stealing do not fail to arise. Committing adultery, stealing, and bearing false witness against thy neighbor were all forbidden.

Regrettably, society has got all these upside down. I know we are not living in a perfect world. Neither are Christians the only people in the world.

However, the bottom line is, there have to be guiding principles that dictate or govern the moral fabric of society.

For instance, if we get down to the using the Bible as our centerpiece, Jesus questions a dishonest steward in Luke 16;11-12. “So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches?  

And if you have not been trustworthy with someone else’s property, who will give you property of your own?

Admittedly, if Christ were to ask this question again, a majority would fall guilty.

The Million Dollar Call

It’s high time we reevaluated our values and be honest. Another verse you would want to put into perspective is in the book of Luke 10:16.

“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.”

“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.”

What is it you are looking for in life and you have less of it? The wisdom Christ dispenses here is that if you are faithful in the little, you have or in your stewardship over a little of something, he will entrust you with much more.

My utmost appeal goes to our leaders and civil servants entrusted with enormous public resources.

To the producers of goods and services and to every person who values personal relationships that we can make a fundamental change towards the honest path.

Supporting the truth, even when it is unpopular, shows the capacity for honesty and integrity. Steve Brunkhorst 

Final Words

Cutting corners could be the easiest thing to do. This is especially true when most of your friends and acquaintances have fallen short of the integrity bar. But I believe you are with me on this. Let’s push the integrity bar higher. The call to integrity is everybody’s responsibility.

Father’s Responsibility

fatherhood

Where did Father’s Miss the Mark?

The question is not rhetorical. It needs answers. What is the father’s responsibility? Because many sons and daughters in society today lack fatherhood love.

On a local television program, I listened with empathy as young people lamented about the lack of a father figure in their lives.                                             

It’s clear that many youths are asking plenty of questions about their fathers. Well, this begs the question when did men abdicate thier fathers’ responsibility?

Of the hundreds of participants who took part in the program, a paltry 20% acknowledged the presence of a good father in their lives.

The remaining 80% lamented on their absentee fathers. Numbers don’t lie.

My Childhood Experience

Growing up, I knew my father to be the best in the world. Being the teacher he was, discipline was the number one virtue he instilled in us.

To top that up, he was there for all of us, including my siblings and I. He endeavored to educate every one of us up to university level.

Similarly, dad would not spare the rod when he had to put it to good use. Well, at that young age, I felt this was an unfair punishment.

More disturbing was the fact that we could all carry the blame for the mistake of the one mischievous chap and get an equal number of lashes.

The Fruits

Going back down the memory lane, I now see why dad had to instil discipline in us. Over the years, I have reaped the fruits of being disciplined in my life. Not necessarily to the authority figures in my life, but my personal life as well.

If there is one thing I’m grateful to dad for, it’s the culture of reading he nurtured in me.

By the time a man realises that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he is wrong

Charles Wadsworth

Reading and writing became part and parcel of my life at quite an early age. If I remember, countless are the days I read the long outdated “Hallo Children” English course book for lower primary.

I also read a lot of short novels such as the “Moses series” and in there the so-called Mukibi Institute of the sons of African gentlemen by Barbara Kimenye. God rest her soul in peace.

Getting out of bed, even before breakfast, I could get down to reading out loud whatever material was at my disposal.

Dad would be there to admonish me to go on. Isn’t this what you would call a father’s responsibility?

Dad would be there to admonish me to go on. Isn’t this what you would call a father’s responsibility?

All newspapers that dad bought and read could ultimately find a way into my hands.

Train your Child at an Early Age

In the Bible, we read about training a child on the way he should go, and he will never depart from it.

Today, I’m a living testimony of the statement above. I read a myriad of materials on end.

The Amazon Kindle app is now an excellent companion. Still buying books in there and counting.

I’m currently reading “The Man in the Mirror” by Patrick Morley and my next book in line is “Money Master the Game” by Tony Robbins.

One common informal saying goes that if you want to hide something from them that don’t read, hide it inside the pages of a book.

I don’t know whether this is true for a fact, but many find it difficult to focus on a book for hours.   

I have been through school. One thing I have realized about life is that you don’t study it by going to school but through personal reading.

Consider this, or else you are losing it.  To master life, study it by reading the great minds of the men and women who lived before you.

To master life, study it by reading the great minds of the men and women who lived before you.

Irresponsible Fathers

That said, lately, the trend of irresponsible and absentee fathers is becoming common.

Not only is it a warring trend but a bomb that has exploded already. From the program that aired live on TV, the speakers in attendance put it clear to us that there are three types of fathers about the fatherhood crisis.

Children today are victims of being “under fathered,” “misfathered” and “unfathered”

Under fathered to mean little of dad at home, always at work. He only shows up for a short time and leaves.

Going by the research done on fathers, many participants lamented on the fact that their dads could only spend 18 minutes or less with their families.

About being “misfathered,” many talked about the lack of parental love, a dad who is abusive, violent, and uncaring.

Just like the first two, “Unfathered” participants complained about not knowing their dads.

In all these scenarios, society needs to ask some tough questions regarding fathers and what is becoming of young men who have not experienced the presence of a father in their lives. If they lost their dads at a young age because of death, this is an all different case.

Are Mothers to Blame?

Is it possible that mothers could also be a contributing factor to the lack of a father’s responsibility?

Take, for example, mothers who cannot reveal the identity of their husbands to their children. Such actions by mothers could stem from the fact that they may have gotten the child in question in a harrowing way, like rape.

Alternatively, the father may have neglected the upbringing of the child.

Parents have a responsibility of taking care of their kids emotionally, mentally, and physically and more so in the ways of God.

Nonetheless, I will talk about Jonathan Edwards. He is an 18th century American revivalist preacher.

He gives an excellent example of what it means to be a great father and a parent at large.  

Tracing his children and grandchildren, the American Educator A.E Winship, discovered new statistics about the descendants of Jonathan 150 years later after his death.

Out of his descendants. There was:

  • 1 U.S vice president
  • 3 U.S senators
  • Three governors
  • Three mayors
  • 13 college presidents
  • 30 judges
  • 65 professors
  • 80 public office holders
  • 100 lawyers
  • 100 missionaries

One hundred fifty years after you cease to exist, what legacy would you want to leave behind in your family?

Can we make a vow as millennials to nurture our children in the right ways and give them the best love a father could ever give?

In contrast to Jonathan Edwards life lived Max Jukes. Max Jukes left behind a horrible legacy after his death thanks to his wayward descendants. He had: 

  • Seven murderers
  • 60 thieves
  • 50 women of debauchery
  • 130 other convicts
  • 310 paupers
  • 400 physically wrecked by indulgent living

Can we make a vow as millennials to nurture our children in the right ways and give them the best love a father could ever give?

Bottom Line

To solve the fatherhood crisis in the society today, we have to accept the fact that it is a present challenge in the community today.

Many are suffering as a result. However, all is not lost. If a victim of the fatherhood crisis, you need not dwell on what you are missing.

Dwell on what you already have. Have an attitude of gratitude. Personally own up your situation and take time to heal as you seek to accept and forgive your dad.

In the same way, the government and like-minded institutions should avail mentors in schools. They will be handy in offering emotional and mental support to students dealing with the fatherhood crisis.

Men! It’s your time to stand up and take the father’s responsibility over your children.

If you want to voice your opinions on this issue, leave a comment in the comments section below.

The Road of Life: Where Are You Heading to?

road of life

The other day I was driving down this familiar road that appeared entirely new because I had taken long to pass through it. Interestingly, there was nothing much fascinating about it: broken culverts, gaping potholes, and the common drainage issues. However, I do not want to talk about physical roads today. Why don’t we discuss the road of life?

The Enormous Question

What is it that comes to your mind when you hear about the road of life? If you are reading this piece, you must be on a journey that has an ultimate destination with several goals in between.

Alternatively, you could walk through several routes that all converge at the same point. Well, I even don’t know whether the statement above is making sense of itself. But the fact is, eventually you want to be somewhere in life if you are of a sound mind.

Greatness is in all of us

One pure truth about life is that everyone born of a mother under the sun has an inherent desire to be great. And some driven by vice have used crude methods to get to the top. Isn’t it true that some of our political leaders have killed and exiled their rivals and political opponents to get to the top? Well, you may say you fight for power and don’t beg it, but no one has the right to take away life.

One pure truth about life is that everyone born of a mother under the sun has an inherent desire to be great

What’s your view of success/greatness?

If you are still there, I want to partly talk about my experience in the Kenya Education system 8.4.4. Has not education played a major role in shaping our lives? Whether or not you went through it? There must be one or two things you learnt from it.

When I was in primary school, pupils who had done their last exams and left; probably joined national schools would come back visiting. We used to revere them and see them as our heroes because they achieved what we hadn’t.

We viewed them with awe and admiration and imagined the wonderful life they were leading in national schools. Our teachers could celebrate them, telling us to be like so and so.

Oblivious to us, they were also the typical high school students on a journey of life with the core desire to make their lives more meaningful. Back in primary school, as you may want to call it in slang, we imagined an excellent experience, after that, in a prestigious national school. Time went by, and the lucky ones like me (or should someone else be saying this) found ourselves in high school. 

Know things for What they are

We realized high school wasn’t a bed of roses either. Primary was a walkover.  In my case, mine was an excellent performing provincial school whose promotion to a national school was long overdue.

They deemed the school among the best in Western Kenya under the leadership of the head teacher we had nicknamed “Jeshi”. In high school; it was survival for the fittest.

A series of CATS, assignments, and quizzes. We met poor performance with some hard lashes on our sitting apparatus and our teachers would threaten us with repeating classes.

So this is what the heroes we revered in our primary school days went through? The food was not much different from the one we used to consume with relish back in primary school but was better in my opinion.

Failed Expectations

Over time, I watched as guys gave up when things became tough. Some stricter subjects like Mathematics, physics, and chemistry proved to be a tall order for many.

In primary school, for instance, you could gamble with multiple choices and scoop 97/100%. If you have been through the Kenya 8.4.4. In the education system, you must relate to this. 

I wouldn’t want to talk about myself here lest I brag or get biased. Add to the indiscipline cases that bedeviled the crooked ones.

As a high school student, the word expulsion or getting expelled was so dreary that thinking about it would send chills down my spine. Actually, to a high school student, it was like your life had come to an abrupt end.

While going home after getting expelled or suspended, you needed to think hard to fabricate lies that you would use to convince your parents why you were out of school or otherwise your goose would be cooked.

And what were the villagers expected to think of you? After hearing the son of so and so joined high school and is now passing the time at home.

A considerable number of guys we schooled with in primary school got expelled or suspended indefinitely for many indiscipline cases.

The lucky ones would get suspended for two weeks, get back, and write course notes on end for classes they missed. However, the worst would await them.

If students had done any exams during their suspension period, it means they would rank bottom, and “Jeshi” would shame them during the academic parade.

In the wildest of our dreams back in primary school, this is not the life we had dreamt of or envisioned.

The Good Memories

On the flip side, there was the fun part of it. Graduating from putting on shorts to trousers. Writing letters to girls and interacting with them. Entertainment on weekends and abrupt changes with something delicious on the menu.

Also not forgetting games, Mathematics contests, Science Congress, Drama and music fests, and the many other co-curricular events. 

In high school, we had the revered visitors who could stop by for their teaching practice. Talking of an AGM, a complete bull would go down for parents’ lunch. The dining hall would instantly become a no-go zone for students.

Source of Hope

Among the revered visitors were the old boys who would motivate us to work hard. We would find great relief in listening to them, not because they were talented speakers but because they had gone through the system.

In them, we found the hope to join University via the government program then referred to as JAB–Joint Admissions Board today known as KUCCPS.

We also saw superheroes, role models, and guys who were already making it. To us, these were making it on the road of life. Looking back, I imagine the life struggles they also faced even though they appeared heroes in our sight.

Now, I had this fairy picture of a university. I imagined a place where young adults were well-behaved, disciplined, focused, go-getters, and all the positive words you can think of.

Well, but wait till you visit the washrooms. Hahahah. Wait till you go for student elections! People would get stupid, forget about ideologies and primitively go tribal.

Add to the injury the many tribal associations that still exist within our campuses. Ooh! Kitwek Student Association! What for!!? Students would speak vernacular in some of these meetings. I thought we derive the name university from the adverb universal. Don’t we

Logically, this would be expected regarding student elections. Weren’t their sponsors the same tribal kingpins we see in parliament buildings?

A friend once mentioned how University thwarted his expectations.

To him, the university was a citadel of research, a place guys were immersed in research on several topics. Shockingly for him, it was an endless journey of lectures, the same handouts, and exams.

The White Lie

Talking from the eyes of a Kenyan graduate University wasn’t a walk in the park as our high school teachers would want us to believe.

If you burned your Chemistry book after your final exam imagining Chemistry was over, you would be in for a rude shock. Science-based courses still had elements of Chemistry and biology in the first year. 

On campus, freedom was at its peak, and you had to learn discipline, manage your time, money, and foodstuffs.

Come the exam time and people would read and study like there was no tomorrow. Even the best of jokers would seclude themselves and get down to business.

Apparently, at every stage of life, the Darwinian theory of selection applies.  By the fourth year, some chaps we began with were missing for myriad reasons. A proof to the fact that every stage in the road of life had lessons to offer.

Some reasons, such as having no school fees, were rather pathetic. However, cases of indiscipline, missing classes on end and getting pregnant along the way would make life difficult for many.

The Situation as it is

Four years down the line and everyone was out again, and we get to mingle through social media and WhatsApp groups.

Some came out married, others engaged, and some marriage was a distant dream far away. Still, when joining, others came from the North but left going South in search of greener pastures.

Others lingered on for a while, perhaps waiting for a sign from God knows where.

For those who were partly students and partly engaged in businesses, it was merely a matter of transitioning from being a part-time student to a full-time business.

To them, education was a tool for relevancy, but they appeared to have their lives figured out already.

As of writing this, it’s another four years since campus. Time seems to have moved fast but with minor changes.

Young families are still coming up. Some saw the need to advance their education, and they got back to it again. Interestingly, a few chaps who were rather unheard of have taken the world by storm.

They now driving gigantic machines and living a life that would only amount to wishes and dreams at our age.

You would think because of them living large, they would be quick to lift and support others. But nothing could be further from the truth.

Success is a process. You get to apply for jobs and not even get a regret email. You try business it somehow cannot see the end of the year. You try relationships; you get some rough rides before a soft landing.

You would think because of them living large, they would be quick to lift and support others down the ladder. But nothing could be further from the truth. Success is a process. You get to apply for jobs and not even get a regret email. You try business it somehow cannot see the end of the year. You try relationships; you get some rough rides before a soft landing.

Now to somebody who has achieved some sense of significance without going through breaking a sweat, the need or the heart to help may not even exist.

Some who had relatives and friends in prominent places knew they have well cut out their road of life only for matters to take a downward spiral.

The Big Questions

Essentially, the big questions to ask ourselves is where are we walking to on this road of life. Why all the toil and sacrifice? Is it worth it? Is there a crown awaiting you at the other end of the tunnel?

Is it to disapprove of people who never believed in you or what fuels you to keep walking? What meaning or significance are you looking for in life? At the end of your journey, what do you want people to remember you for?

That you paid school fees for orphans or built and lived in the most expensive house? Let me know in the comments below.

Bottom Line

Strictly speaking, however much you may think someone is living the best of life, things could differ from reality. As I wrap this up, it’s more important to know where you are heading to in the road of life than just dragging yourself by.

What you Need to Know in Parenting Teenagers

raising a teenager

Parenting teenagers is very demanding. It’s not a surprise that most parents fear the teenage years in their kids. It’s always a time of intense growth in their lives. They are growing physically, intellectually, and emotionally.

That makes them more curious. Your teen now has the increasing desire to be addressed as an adult.

They make decisions that will define the relationship between themselves and their teens. As a parent, it may reach a point whereby you feel like your teens reject your influence.

Your teen is still the same toddler you nursed. They are now trying to be more articulate, idealistic, and thoughtful. Given the right guidance, teens should make you proud as their parent.

So, worry not if your family seems to fall apart. In this article, we will help you find applicable ways on parenting teenagers in the best way possible.

Signs your Kid has grown into a Teenager

Maybe you are at a loss as a parent on how to identify your kid is a teenager. You are not alone. Many parents find themselves in this melee.

Years alone may not help as kids go through different growth spurts. In children, you will find speedy developers and those growing slowly but steadily.

Some key signs that will help you identify your kids are transitioning from being a child to a teen include:

Sexual Characteristics

  • Facial hair
  • Pubic hair
  • Growing breasts
  • Menstrual periods

Behavioral Characteristics

  • Desire to be independent
  • They want to be decision-makers
  • Loathe you addressing them as kids
  • Are aware of other people’s opinion on them
  • Seek identity and a sense of belonging

So how should you handle your teenagers? We give you a 10 point guide on how can make your teenage parenting smooth.

1. Understand What they Need

The teenager is no longer your child whom you would cuddle with all the time. He or she has developed and is almost becoming an adult.

Most probably, they are becoming different from what you knew them to be. It won’t mean that you will have to stop caring about them.  Have frequent talks on what they need most.

This will enhance a strong relationship between the parent and the teenager.

2. In Parenting Teenagers, Prove to them you Love them

As a teenager, he or she may develop an ego during the first stages of adolescence. By doing so, the teenager may seem rogue at some point, hence some parents feel like giving up.

As a parent, you need to ensure that there is enough evidence to prove that you love your son or daughter. First, it does not matter whether you give him or her money.

Money does not solve any problems. Take some time off with your teenage child. You can opt for road trips or anything to enhance the bondage between the parent and the teenager.

Through all these, the teenager will grow up to become a respectable person in the community.

3. Know more about their Friends

As a youngster grows up, they always have time to make new friends. Some of these friends will make a major difference in how your son behaves.

Despite this, while knowing their friends, do not be too nosy. As a parent, there is that overprotective feeling of handling your child.

You can host a party and tell him to invite some of his friends. By doing so, you will have made a big achievement in knowing his or her friends.

It will also enable you to guide him about his company. As they say, never judge a book by his cover, so don’t be too overprotective. Parenting teenagers is a skill that needs learning.

4. Have a reinforced Standard within the Teen

Children are never born knowing what is right or wrong. As the child turns in to a teenager, he slightly bends the rules that you as a parent has set.

This will make you feel troubled and somehow stressed. If it comes to this point, ensure to remind them what you taught them at a young age. 

Also, give practical reasons why there are boundaries. Do not be afraid that you may seem strict.

In the end, the teenager will thank you for your tireless efforts to raise him appropriately.

5. Always Listen to their Queries or Needs

Fewer adults respect or listen to their teens. Many of them think they will get over that stage just like how he or she managed.

Sadly, this destroys the emotional character of the teenage child. The child will feel more of a burden to the parent or guardian.

As a teenager, your son or daughter will seek advice from other people who may mislead them.

Advice from unknown persons could ruin a healthy relationship with your teenager.  Always listen to what your teenager wants to discuss with you.

It helps to create a better mutual understanding and stronger bonds.

6. Offer your Wisdom regarding when you were a Teenager

Being a parent, you have had several encounters as a teenager, some of which may be impressive or not.

In line with that, you automatically gained the gift of wisdom since you are no longer a teenager.

Give this wisdom to your child and it will make a positive impact in his or her teenage life.

It will also make parenting teenagers a lot easier.

7. Guide them to Stay Focused

This is one of the crucial parts to consider when raising a teenager. Guide them to balance enjoying the fun within adolescence.

At the same time, prepare them for the future. Your teenager could forget the consequences of their current choices which could cost them the future.

Ensure that they are not always focusing on football games or prom.

8. Do not always talk to your Teens

Your teenager will always receive lectures from several adults.

Many of these adults care more about their agenda rather than the teenager. This is very exhausting for kids hence making them not trust adults including parents.

Avoid much too many lectures on your teens. When giving lectures or bits of advice, always address them as adults. Remember to keep things clear and straight to the point.

9. Take away Some Privileges

You should always note that teenagers need you in their lives and not on their terms and conditions.

Take away some privileges like going to events, gaming, and many more if they seem to develop an ego.

This applies to some extreme cases whereby the teenager is very stubborn. It will definitely help to bring him back on track.

10. Reward Increasing Maturity

Reward your teen accordingly if he seems to portray patterns of maturity. You could reward them by increasing their freedom.

You could also give them an extra tip on the allowance and many more. It will also make the teenager to trust you more and be more responsible.

Final Thoughts

That being said, raising a teenager can be demanding if you do not know how to go about it.

Yet, if you follow these tips, your child could become the epitome of being mature and responsible.

So, if your child is just getting into teenage hood you now know how to handle them best.

How to Raise a Child Alone

single mom

To raise a child alone can be very demanding. When it comes to single motherhood, you may feel like you are not being the best parent to your son.

At times, you may consult people on how to be the best single parent or just figure out on your own.

Currently, many single parents have not discovered the best ways to raise their children.

There is no need to worry; I will guide you on the best ways to raise your child despite being a single mom.

Adapting between dating and single parenting

As a young single mom, you may find yourself dating in pursuit of true love. When you are dating, do you consider the impact your child will get once you introduce the romantic partner to him/ her?

This is one crucial thing that many single parents fail to address. Before you introduce your partner to the kid, ensure that you have established a solid relationship with your partner.

Furthermore, ensure to get a partner who will treat your child with admirable respect.

Once you have established a strong relationship and you are in good terms with the partner, the next step is to tell your child about his personality. This will enable the child to get to know more about him and have established trust between you and the child.

Have a parent-child talk about divorce or separation

Apart from losing a partner through death, numerous single moms may have divorced or separated from their partners.

If this may be the case, have a pep talk with your child about the changes that have taken place.

Also, ensure to remind your child she is not the cause of the separation and bring assurance that you love him or her very much.

Besides, listen to what the child feels about the divorce and try to answer all her questions in an honest way as possible.

In addition to that, avoid bringing out the negative side of your partner. In recent research, children fare best in divorced marriages when parents have frequented communications on co-parenting.

You can always organize meetups, video calls or something that will help the child to be raised in the best way possible.

Avoid bringing out the negative side of your partner

Set a Positive Model

To raise a child alone takes sacrifice, determination, and persistence.

Once you have all these and you embrace them to the maximum, your virtues will always inspire your child. They will always be determined to be the best in whatever they do.

Have a set of Household Established Rules

When making rules, ensure that they are short and easy to understand.  Children need short and simple rules that you should define well.

This will also help your kids to gain focus on what do than giving them long lists of what they should avoid.

If you want them not to do something, tell them by mouth, give them the consequences but not in a threatening tone.

Always be accessible when the child needs you

As a single parent, ensure that you can always give help to your child. This applies whether he or she needs it.

You can always ask about how he faired in school, check his homework and help him where he needs correction.

The child may also be involved in extra-curriculum activities. You should always give support by attending all the games or anything apart from curriculum matters.

This will motivate the child to grow positive knowing there is a parent bringing a positive impact in their life.

Visit a Counsellor Occasionally

To raise a child alone can make you feel depressed and confused about how to raise your child.

Some single moms emulate what other parents are doing to their children, hence they end up doing some things which may not influence the child positively.

As a single parent, you can visit a counselor to get some advice and to gain some knowledge on how to raise your kid accordingly.

Rethink on how you have been performing as a single parent

At one point, you may ask yourself questions like “Am I doing the best for my child?”, “How have I been performing?”.

Put another way, such questions help in setting standards that you may plan to achieve as a single mom.

Once you know the past of your single parenthood, it will be easy to set goals and aim to do what you have not done so far.

Successful single parents always do this simple trick and the child turns out to be well raised and have a good picture in the community.

Have Respect for your Child

Being a single parent can be hectic. You may have repeated arguments with your child, which may lead him or her to acquire a negative mindset.

To top that up, some parents may be overprotective to their children. This may lead to the child feeling demoralized and denied the chance to get new friends.

Also, this denies them the chance to create a stronger bond with thier old friends.

As a parent, you should have respect for the child. This can be achieved by always listening to their demands and address them accordingly and to avoid quarrels before knowing the child’s reason to do a certain mistake.

Show your Family that you are a good Single Parent

Family members will always monitor you and the child to know the progress.

As a single mom, the aim will be to show your relatives you are making progress as a single mother.

To achieve this, you need to show maximum care, love, and support to your child.

Concerning that, do not pretend to be nice to your child when being around your family.

The child can think on his or her own and he or she will notice this. As the child grows up, you notice that the respect and love they had for you is fading with time.

You will remember the fake care and support you gave to the child. Unfortunately for you, it might be to late to mend fences.

Bottom Line

To raise a child alone can be hectic. This means being a mother and partly a father to your lovely son or daughter.

However, with the right mindset and attitude, no one will separate the love and bond between a single mom and her child if everything is done right.