Previously in an earlier post, I talked about how the young and unmarried in society are being fed bad and negative information concerning marriage. The end result is that the young start seeing marriage as a no-go zone but an institution riddled with infidelity, divorce, and violence.
You need to look at God’s original plan for marriage before you choose to walk down that path.
In fact, some have argued that marriage goes against the natural instincts of man. But surely, shouldn’t there be a guiding principle about human romantic relationships?
About a week ago, I happened to attend a men’s seminar. The topic of marriage took center stage with the men spewing a tirade of complaints about their significant other not being up to the task.
Some of the complaints men mentioned included:
- Poor hygiene; this was highly blamed on young mothers who leave the young ones to urinate on the master bed or sofa.
- Short notice on matters that need urgent attention for example when foodstuffs in the house are depleted
- Sharing of responsibilities in the house; one participant narrated how a man was humiliated by his wife after she sent their son to go ask him to go prepare the evening meal. Their son presented the request to his dad while in the company of other men. It is needless to say it was so embarrassing to the man ( It was evident that in this home, there was a duty roaster for preparing meals)
- Men also complained how their women are not quick to dress the way they want them to which forces them to satisfy their eyes on other women.
That said, you need to understand that every marriage has its own fights that can be very well managed and these are just some that were mentioned by men who attended the above-mentioned seminar.
Listening keenly to the proceedings of the said day, it was apparent to me that many factors come in to play about how issues are handled in a marriage.
Factors that came to mind include;
- Your spouse level of education
- Their relationship with God
- Their level of maturity
- How well spouses know each other. It is possible that two people could be living together yet do not know each other.
A few men in the seminar had also been accompanied by their wives. Being women, they were on the receiving end of the day’s discussions and could not bring themselves to merely listen but had to voice their side of things too.
Some women complained that the men always have high expectations and demand too much from them. Are they justified?
At one point, we all went back to the drawing board, the Bible, in the book of Genesis 2.20 where God dialogues about creating a suitable helper for man.
While we all agreed that woman was created as a helper and companion to man; which means man can handle virtually every responsibility in the home except for child delivery and breastfeeding a line had to be drawn between what responsibilities the man and woman should manage in the house.
However, love knows no limits and many couples are known to go beyond this cut out responsibilities in the name of love. Besides, physical complications or sickness could also rub off the line on the issue of duties.
African Traditional Culture, clearly differentiated responsibilities between the boy and the girl child. Boys were raised to take on roles that demanded a lot of physical energy and bravery such as digging, building, hunting and taking care of livestock.
On the other hand, the girl child was raised to be a woman of virtue and take responsibility in the home. Some of the duties they undertook included preparing meals, fetching water and firewood, cleaning among other responsibilities.
On the contrary, time is of the essence, and for a fact, we live in the modern age dispensation where you hear of the miss independents and senior bachelors. The Western culture has also taken shape so rapidly in the African setting and couples sometimes find themselves lost on how to conduct and carry themselves about in their marriage.
From the issues mentioned above, a marriage lies in the hands of the two people who made the life-changing choice of living together, and it’s only them who will find a way of navigating through the storms that will come along.