No One Can Define You But Yourself

The author with colleagues at a workstation.

Hey you, hope this post finds you well. We are in tough times as a country and it will be kind of you to check on your neighbor just to know how safe he or she is.

To our fallen brothers and sisters in different parts of the country, more so, Luo Nyanza, may God rest their souls in peace. One socialite was quoted to suggest that “msiba wa kujitakia hauna kilio“, (you shouldn’t cry over a self-inflicted problem) but I choose to disagree in the strongest terms possible.

Our dear brothers and sisters chose to exercise their constitutional right to picket and demonstrate but rogue police officers caught up with them and mercilessly took their lives by the bullet.

There are two important questions I need you to ask yourself today.

  1. How are you shaping the definition of your country as a citizen of Kenya? And
  2. What defines your personality?

Too many of us hardly care the shit about what defines us as persons. We are busy shaping and defining our acquaintances, neighbors, and friends but we hardly have the time to define ourselves.

We have left that job to our parents, pastors, employers, friends, and village elders.

I am here to tell you that no one should define you but yourself. Honestly, were you blatantly convinced that you are stupid and cannot make it to law school or whatever career of your choice? Save me the bullshit.

Seriously? You were told you are not good in business and you chose to buy that? A beautiful you, fearfully and wonderfully made chose to take that in? Save me the crap.

You were told you are not dateable and you believed it? No, you shouldn’t.

Just before we continue I need you to affirm these positive affirmations firmly, loudly, and with a conviction of Biblical Paul. Better make things right now than clock 40 with regrets about your youth. Well, you may not be religious like me but you can find positivity in these statements.

  1. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
  2. What man can do, I can do better.
  3. He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world.
  4. I can because I can.
  5. Wealth, health, and long life are my portions because God has a purpose for me on this earth.
  6. The Lord is my protector and there is nothing evil that man can do to me in deed and word.

Thank you for being a good student, assuming you followed the above instructions.

I don’t know about you friend, but for me, I chose to define myself rather than be defined.

This is so because who would purport to know me better than myself. I know how I hate crowds and like to lock myself in a closet! Not literally. Simply put, I know what you do not know about me, so don’t you try to exercise your behavior reading skills on me.

A young man was teased that he is mentally challenged to pursue science subjects in his third form at high school and he fell for it. Sad.

How many of us have fallen to these mediocre, energy-sapping words that demean us only to rediscover ourselves later?

I want you to stand up with me today, champion, and let’s say no to every self-limiting definition that has been implanted in our lives by the very people who were meant to love, inspire and protect us against any self-limiting beliefs and definitions at a tender age.

No point of getting bitter about them maybe they were as naive as you were about their actions.

You can get remorseful too, I understand, it’s because you broke a soul out there and shattered a dream with your loud mouth and now you have to admit it. “Urrghhh!! a wretched me”, you say.

Here is what I’m saying, friend.

Nobody can define you but you.

The Merriam Webster definition of the word define is to determine or identify the essential qualities or meaning of something or somebody e.g whatever defines us as human.

We need to start defining ourselves guys. I need you for a moment to switch off your mind from what your mother, wife, girlfriend, husband, pastor, or special other said about you and pick that pen and paper

Or you could use the smartphone you have, and let’s start redefining our lives.

Looks simple, and an easy thing to do, right? But don’t go that direction because some people have never defined themselves since birth.

All they know is that their BFF told them they are strong. Haha, maybe you were being flattered boy!

It is interesting to note that some people have never really defined their person. I mean, who are you? What do you stand for? What are your values or core values? What about your personality? What are your strengths? What about your weaknesses or you have none? I don’t think so.

What is more baffling is the fact that some have chosen to define themselves by their job positions or profession and that is where it stops. I have no qualms about society calling you by your job title.

But you need to take a break and define who you are friend. Some have found themselves in awkward positions or rather caught off guard by interview questions that touch on their personality.

Using a pen and paper or whatever smart gadget at your disposal, create columns with the above-given entries and write yourself down.

I just started.

Define yourself to be a better you.

Be You

Thanks for stopping by.