18 Positive Thinking Exercises to make your Day Count

Having a bad day? Maybe you missed a necessary appointment, a date failed, or your presentation turned out badly at an office meeting.

How do you keep it positive during the day or the rest of the week? 

Notably, as humans, we will always have positive and negative thoughts flowing through our minds. That’s acceptable.

The negative thoughts you are having in your mind right now could be bad news, an awful experience, or a negative remark about you. 

Is there something you could do about your negative thoughts and feelings, or should you let them settle in and make you bitter, angry, and miserable? 

Don’t think about that route because we got eighteen positive thinking exercises that could be the antidote you need for your negativity. 

Let’s get straight to them. 

1.Pause and Take a Breath

Have you ever talked so fast? Maybe the MC called on you to give a speech at a family meeting or the wedding of a friend, and all hell broke loose. 

After the speech, you don’t remember a word you said. 

You let nervousness reign messing you up. You probably finished talking while burning up on the inside on how you made a fool of yourself. 

Next time you find yourself in this situation, take things slow. Pause and take deep breaths.

Focusing on your breath will bring you back to the moment. You will stop focusing on yourself and get your mind to be calmer and handle the situation better. 

2.Use the Mirror Technique

When you stand in front of a mirror, what do you see? Yourself, right?

Can you use positive words to describe the image you see in front of you?

Your comments could go like, “I’m confident,” “I’m in control.” I love and accept the person I am.”, “I’m fearfully and wonderfully made.” 

You could make this a routine and do this every morning when you wake up. The positive words you speak of yourself keep you in a cheerful disposition, enabling you to handle the rest of the day with a positive mindset. 

3.Believe you are Succeeding

It’s easy to give up when you see everything is going to fail. That is going to make you negative.

Whether it was a short-term or long-term project you were dealing with, you don’t want to go through with it as if you are forced to handle it. 

Photo by Ava Motive from Pexels

In everything you do, believe things will work out, and of course, you will start coming up with ways of making them work.

Thank me when you succeed. 

4.Be Active

One other way to exercise positivity is to be active. A sedentary lifestyle is more routine and doesn’t count much in keeping you positive, especially when you feel negative. 

Get out there and take a hike. 

Lift weights, and you will feel you have pumped something out of your chest. 

At the end of it all, you will feel more positive than when you started.

5.Talk and laugh at the Challenges you are facing

I didn’t say you share all your problems with the world, but making fun of them makes you ease up and stop killing yourself on the inside. 

In fact, you will see them as usual and something temporal that you can go through and overcome. 

When things get tough, we are constantly told, get tougher, but we should be careful not to do this at the expense of our health.

Photo by Zen Chung from Pexels

Don’t play strong when you are dying on the inside. Talk and laugh at life challenges. 

6.Practice Positive Affirmation

Positive affirmations are positive phrases that you can repeat over your life.

They help you counter the negative thinking pattern you have always had and believed about you. An example of a positive affirmation could be, “I’m getting better and better every day.”, “I’m making it.” 

If you are having issues with your self-esteem, you could tell yourself, “I’m a problem solver,” “I’m beautiful.”, “I adapt quickly to change.”

Repeating these positive phrases in your life help to change the negative thinking pattern you have had before. 

Try it for some time and see the difference it brings over your life.

7.Don’t be too hard on yourself

Sometimes we set the bar too high, and when things go south, we hit at ourselves and put ourselves down.

That shouldn’t be you.

Accept that you are a human who is prone to err and give yourself a second chance. 

8.Keep the Company of Positive People

Photo by KoolShooters from Pexels

How we feel can be infectious to the surrounding people.

If you enter a room full of happy and energetic people, chances are high you will be the most enthusiastic person in line.

The same is true when the people surrounding you are negative. You will be the next negative person.

If your company is always talking about scarcity, dirty politics, and rising crime, they will leave you with nothing else to see but only negativity.

The best way to think positively is to associate with positive thinkers. 

9.Set Realistic Goals

To prevent negative thinking from creeping into your life, you need to be realistic with yourself.

One way we keep ourselves negative is by creating unrealistic goals that we cannot achieve. 

Your goals need to be SMART. If it is a big goal, break it down into action steps that will make it more manageable to avoid burning out.

That’s how you go from negative to positive thinking. 

10.Treat Problems as a Test to your Next Chapter of Life

Every cloud has a silver lining.

Whatever hurdle you face, always see it as a lesson to your next chapter of life.

No problem is permanent. Don’t look at the problem, but focus on the person you are becoming. 

A life challenge or a difficult situation right now is a test to your next promotion in life.

11.Can you use positive words when Talking? It makes a lot of difference. 

Photo by Renda Eko Riyadi from Pexels

“Can’t work,” “Not possible,” “won’t,” “just surviving.” Use less of such words in your daily talk.

And if possible, avoid them at all costs when describing or referring to yourself. 

Opportunities come dressed in overalls. When you cling to negative words such as above, “I can’t handle it better than Mr. X,” “it’s not my thing,” Then talk about what you can do best. 

If you stick to positive words long enough, your mind will start changing towards a positive outlook of life, and you will see life isn’t that bad as you thought it was. 

12.Track your Thoughts

We are good at watching other things but our thoughts. That’s how negative thinking finds a way into our brain, develops into a pattern, and becomes second nature to you. 

Learn to keep track of your thoughts. Treat negative thoughts as passing clouds and let the positive ones settle in. 

Some thoughts will make you angry, bitter, or unhappy with yourself.

Yes, those are the negative thoughts you should track and identify whether it is a pattern that you can drop altogether instead of allowing them to take root. 

13.You Could Use a Little Help from an Inspirational Book

Are you a reader? If yes, you could use your reading habit to be a positive thinker by reading the inspiration books around you. 

Reading about someone succeeding or going through a similar problem and overcoming it will motivate you.

You will be optimistic and open your mind again to endless possibilities to overcome your hurdles. 

14.Be Happy Where you Are

I get it. The pay isn’t good. Your relationship is turning out differently than you thought it was. You wish to live in a better place than where you are right now. 

Holding these kinds of thoughts only makes you miserable and negative. 

Is there another side of the coin? 

As Dr. Joe Vitale, “The fastest way to get where you want is to be happy with where you are.” 

Life is a journey, and the difference between where you are and where you want to be is time. What you are doing with the time you have is what brings the difference. 

15.Analyze a problem for what it is and find the best solution to it

Okay, you are heading to a destination North, and you just realized you don’t have enough bus fare. That’s a problem. 

Should you sit down and start counting the other problems you face and how they are making you miserable, or should you find a workable solution to the current situation? 

The fare to Destination North = X 

Cash available = Y 

Cash needed = X-Y

How to raise (X-Y) 

  • Check your emergency fund 
  • Borrow a loan 
  • Ask a friend
  • Postpone the journey

You just analyzed a problem and found out solutions to solving it. Could you use the same approach to solving other challenges in life instead of crying at your problems? 

16.Let go of the Past

The past is the last second. Whether you were bombarded with success or failure, it just remains the past.

Don’t bask too long in the glory of the yesteryears. Neither should you tarry longer than is healthy for you in your past failures. 

To move forward as fast, you need to make peace with your past.

You cannot change what happened in the past, but you can change your present for a better tomorrow.

Dwelling on the past makes you negative, killing your optimism in life. 

17.Count your Blessings

It’s easier said than done. But start counting, and you will get shocked.

In your pursuit for success and a better life, you have taken for granted the things you worked hard to gain. 

The smartphone in your hand just gave you the privilege to read this blog post from the comfort of wherever. Ooh no, you are in the toilet? Hahaha. 

But you get the drift, right? 

That time you feel you are losing it; when your life gets you between a rock and a hard place; when progress seems to be slow, count your blessings. 

You will find yourself more optimistic about handling the present challenges better.

18.Embrace your Inner Child

Photo by Kenex Media sa from Pexels

It helps to be playful sometimes.

Children are always animated and have little time to worry about their problems because, well, there is always someone standing by to take care of it. 

Getting playful can change your moods. Like a child, you can trust in a higher power and let go of your problems. Play and let go. 

In Matthew 11:28, we are told to cast our heavy burdens to Jesus, and he will give us rest. 

Isn’t it positive to know that you cast your burdens on someone else? 

Conclusion

Positive thinking exercises are excellent to make you get rid of negativity in your life. You may not master them in a week or even a month, but keeping them with consistency will make you more optimistic and a positive person in life. You can also subscribe to our blog and grab yourself a free e-book on staying positive.

Positive Thinking: How to Think Positive for a Healthy Lifestyle

Is positive thinking a choice or people think negatively even when they don’t want to? The truth is, people, gain negative thinking patterns just as they would positive thinking patterns. The sad part is, people embrace negative thinking patterns more than positive ones without their knowledge. 

What do you look like inside your head? There those who see the glass half empty, and others see it as half full. In other words, those who see the glass as half empty are pessimistic, while those who see the glass as half full are optimistic. Embracing negative thinking instead of vivacious is akin to being sick because it leads to a lack of peace and mental stress. 

This article talks about positive thinking and how you can use it to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Let’s get moving. 

What is Positive Thinking?

Image by Binti Malu on Pexels

Positive thinking is focusing on the bright side of things. It’s choosing to see the light when everybody around you sees darkness.

I don’t mean it literally.

Positive thinking doesn’t mean that you ignore the bad in your life. On the contrary, it means you are conscious of the dark side of things happening in your life, but you choose to remain optimistic and confident about good things coming. 

Children are born innocent until they pick wrong cues from their parents, siblings, and society. However, as you grow into an adult, choose between positive thinking and negative thinking

Out of the heart, the mouth speaks. You will spot a positive thinking person by their perceptions about life issues and how they approach unpleasant situations. How you speak about your life is an accurate reflection of who you are on the inside. 

Positive thoughts will lead to positive self-talk. On the flip side of things, a negative mind will speak what is always negative. 

For me, I would say reading the Bible has made me a positive thinker. You may not be a believer, but the Bible can turn the most cynical mind into one that thinks positively. 

Positive Thinking for a Healthy Lifestyle

If positive thinking were not riches, I wouldn’t be talking or writing about it. Positive thinking is a source of healing and strength to your spirit and bones. 

What is your self-talk on money, relationships, career, and family, for example? When people check on you, what are you always telling them? Do you rant about the terrible weather and your pain in the butt, boss, or you choose to focus on the positive and tell them you are doing well? 

Here are the benefits of always focusing on the positive side of things:

  1. You will cope better with stressful situations
  2.  Prevents depression 
  3. Perfect physical and psychological well being
  4. Longevity in life 
  5. A healthy immune system against the Common cold.
  6. Reduced chances of cardiovascular diseases and death. 
  7. Reduced levels of distress. 

How to Develop Positive Thinking in your Life

In most cases, when the mind is in a state of anxiety or suspense, it always thinks of evil or something terrible happening. Imagine your spouse coming home an hour later than the time you always expect them. 

Your mind will race you through all the bad scenarios it can imagine, only to realize later on that your spouse was held up in a meeting or got caught up in a traffic jam. 

Or maybe your loved one is suffering from a chronic disease that doesn’t seem to go away. You have invested so much time and money in treating your child, but there has been little progress so far. 

Given the degree of the challenge, you will feel burned out, stressed, and have too many thoughts, which in most cases are negative. 

Well, the good news is that you can learn to unlearn such negative thinking in your life. We offer you some ways you can learn positive thinking in your life. 

Focus on the Good

We don’t live in a perfect world. Shit sometimes happens. But that shouldn’t give you a reason to cloud your mind with negativity. Imagine missing a flight? Or a necessary appointment?

That is going to cause you much stress. But on the flip side, there is never a problem without a solution. And if no solution is available, the problem is manageable.

If you missed the critical appointment, tell yourself you can schedule another one at a reasonable time. 

Keep Company with Positive Thinkers

The people you spend most of your time with determine whether you will be a positive or a negative thinker. Stay with the positive ones, and you will be the next in line.

I once dreaded marriage because I had kept the company of people who felt that marriage wasn’t worthwhile and led to lots of frustrations and loss of freedom.

The truth is, no marriage is perfect, but you can choose to work on yours to make it look like you want it to be. If you stay close to positive people longer, your perception of life will be positive, and you will also have higher self-esteem. 

Practice Gratitude

Recently, while attending a Mind Wellness class, the instructor was quick to point out the importance of being thankful.

Practicing mindfulness helps you forget the bad and start focusing on the good. The instructor pointed out that we need to point out something that worked well at the end of each day.

Talk about having a gratitude journal. Practicing gratitude improves your self-esteem and optimism in life. It’s an easy pathway to positive thinking. 

Also, it will help you navigate the difficult time in your life. 

Embrace Humor

If you are not a fan of humor, maybe it’s time you start being one. Past studies on humor have found it to be stress-relieving.

Humour also helps you get rid of depression and anxiety. Learn to embrace humor and laugh heartily. Numerous stand-up comedy shows could help you crack your ribs for a moment.

Play nice and allow yourself to laugh. Laughing, in itself, has been said to be a mood booster. 

Start your Day Positively

How you start your morning determines how the rest of your day will be. You want to begin with stuff that will uplift you and give you the energy to sail through.

I pray and listen to uplifting music. The great motivational guru, Tony Robbins, has a unique morning routine for fifteen minutes that keeps him fueled up for the rest of the day.

Here is a summary of his morning routine: 

  • Moving and breathing ( five minutes )
  • Emotional State of Enormous Gratitude ( five minutes) 
  • Incantations/Mantras (five minutes) 

Your mornings don’t have to start like that of Tony Robbins. You could come up with your way of starting your day positively. 

Practice Positive Affirmations and Self-talk

Everyone has a voice in their head that speaks to them either negatively or positively. Positive thinking demands that you have positive self-talk.

We can be hard on ourselves, but it also helps to look at ourselves like a normal being prone to errors.

Learn to be optimistic about yourself by being mindful of your self-talk. Instead of telling yourself, “I can’t afford it.” Give yourself to possibilities by saying, “How can I afford it?”

Fix your negative areas

If you are not a positive thinker, chances are high; there are negative areas in your life that you are yet to identify and fix. Maybe you hate it when people tell you what to do.

This isn’t wrong because you can’t have it all figured out, but you may have created negativity around it, making you negative.

Or maybe you always turn negative at work because of one reason or the other. It would be best if you identify these areas and correct them.

You could also use help from people around you to identify your negative areas. 

Positive Thinking in Difficult Times

positive thinking

Positive thinking doesn’t mean suppressing your negative thoughts. Feel free to allow the negative thoughts to come by but make them a passing cloud. 

This might be near impossible, especially when grieving or going through a difficult period in your life. But trust me, you can still choose to have positive thoughts.

The trick is not to focus on the problem at hand but embrace the support of other people. Also, look into ways you can be supportive of other people.

Imagine yourself giving advice or encouragement to a grieving person; what would you tell them? You are likely to tell them you know how they feel and that you have been there before.

I know you will tell them that it’s okay to feel that way and then encourage them and gently remind them that it will pass.  

Practice Positive Thinking Everyday

Practicing positive thinking every day in your life is extremely rewarding. It will reduce negative self-talk, improve your self-esteem, and change the perception of the world around you. Positive thinking has a direct correlation with your health. Positive thinkers maintain good health, while negative thinkers are prone to stress symptoms and heart diseases. Choose your path today. We offer you a free e-book on positivity that will help you practice positivity every day of your life. Subscribe and grab your free copy. 

13 Unconventional Wisdom Nuggets you Should Know in 2021

unconventional wisdom nuggets

I have a list of unconventional wisdom nuggets to share with you before we wrap up 2020.

I’m not mean. Whatever I learn, you learn and we move forward together, don’t we?

We are just counting a few hours into the new year. I thought it wise to write this post before we cross over. Isn’t that the next big thing? ama ni pekee yangu nangoja kuvuka mwaka?

People always have their own reasons that makes them loathe the month January. From where I live, it’s the month that the sun is always hotter than ever with a dusty wind blowing you right, left and center.

It makes your lips appear dry and cracked. Ooh January!

Never mind that you made your deep pockets shallow during the festive season. All on what? Eating and making merry? By the way, Christmas is the only time people meet with their larger families, so its worth spending an extra coin, right?

13 Unconventional Wisdom Nuggets

I have lived long enough to know when someone is making me to look stupid or would want to take advantage of me.

Some bad events in my life have occurred not once but twice because of my sheer lack of keenness about lessons I should be learning in life.

And so while traveling from one town to the next, I put together this list I call unconventional wisdom nuggets to break down life for what it really is.

Be wise about life and thank me later. On the flip side, play with fire and get burned.

Unconventional Wisdom 1: Don’t do Business with Relatives

I have been a keen reader of life enough to know that business with relatives is never the best of arrows to use in your quiver.

If things go south in the business, you will have yourself to blame. You will be the loser and there is little you can do to seek redress.

Where in the world will you take your uncle or cousin? to the police? C’mon you know where this ends.

I didn’t say they shouldn’t be your customers. They can buy from you as much as they want but don’t make them your business partners.

The case of Tuskys Supermarket downfall in Kenya arose due to siblings rivalry and greed. It was a family business. Though not directly related to what I’m trying to say, to some extent it rings a bell.

Relatives will take advantage of your blood relationship to manipulate you, steal from you, or simply tarnish your reputation.

Relatives should remain relatives unless it’s an immediate family owned business with well learned people.

Unconventional Wisdom 2: Lend Money you are willing to Lose

The person who comes to you to borrow money is never the same when you call them to ask for your money back.

Most people when borrowing money are always humble, respectful and honest looking till they get hold of your cash.

While this is not always the case with all the people who borrow money from you, a lot that happens is bad news.

All hell breaks lose when they don’t honor their promise and you have to keep calling them to ask for your money back.

Some will be outright rude, or feign sickness that they have never suffered from before.

To keep your piece, lend money you are willing to lose or choose to be called stingy. Haha. Apply some unconventional wisdom in your money dealings.

3. You Can Give Money to Strangers but Lend

People can be sly. And mark me right, I’m not being pessimistic or negative. I have a first hand experience of some of things I’m writing about.

I met a lady online doing Network marketing. She befriended me asking me to join her network marketing team but I politely declined.

However, she was very persuasive and kept posting images of Mpesa transactions showing her team members making a kill.

Still, she didn’t woo me in. All I asked her was to train and mentor me to be a good network marketer so I could get the skills and use them to my own gain.

She agreed to my request and said there was nothing for free and so I will have to pay her $15/kes1500 for the training.

We agreed that I shall be paying the amounts in bits. We had known each other for less than 3 months when one Friday, she asked me for kes300 to be returned on Monday.

I send her the money because it’s the money I could easily spend on lunch. That was the last time I heard from her.

Any person you have known for less than a year is a stranger. Don’t commit to them any valuable resources you have. The trick with them is always to stay closer to you as possible, know your vulnerabilities/weaknesses and pap!

They strike when the iron is hot.

4. People Watch your Actions not your Words. Tenda Mema

A lot many times we are always easy with words. And beware of people who talk to much. Even the Bible warns against to many words for in them sin is not absent.

Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut

Proverbs 10:19 (NLV)

Almost always, people have a leeway with words. You get caught in a compromising situation all you have to do is to use your mouth to absolve yourself from blame. Aren’t lawyers making money with law interpretation and words?

However, we easily forget that people will hear your words but also watch what you do after. Be the person who keeps promises no matter how small.

You want to be the person whose yes will be a yes and no a no. The common Swahili saying goes “Tenda mema nenda zako”

Kenyan politicians have a way with words but a large zero on their report cards. A typical Kenyan politician could easily sing his way to parliament, get their and pass no tangible laws or mismanage CDF funds.

He later comes back to his constituents in the next election with a bag of empty promises and sings his way back to parliament again.

Unconventional wisdom dictates that you be a man of your words by honoring them through right actions.

5. Bosses are the Most Unliked People Hahah

Sorry for being brutal with the truth here, but people seldom love their bosses. Most people sulk, whine, and loathe their bosses/managers for myriad reasons.

Sometimes the juniors complaining are right but some other times they are wrong as well. Your boss could be the insecure type who isn’t happy to see you outshining them. This is because to them that means you are about to take their position.

According to the 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene, it’s never a wise move to outshine your leader or boss.

However, sometimes people outshine their bosses even when they are not trying to. And that alone is enough reason for tension and friction in the work place.

On the same knot, some bosses have character issues or are either poor at communication and this really creates a lot of friction with their juniors.

Nevertheless, not all bosses can be branded as bad. Some are really good mentors and can groom you to heights unimaginable.

If you can’t tolerate your boss, find another one or start working for yourself and quit your current job. It’s easier said than done, right?

Unconventional wisdom denotes that working for yourself is the surest way to grow rich.

Where there is a will there is a way

6. Motivational Gospel vs. Doctrinal Gospel. Be Grounded on Absolute Truth

Well, I began by saying I have some unconventional wisdom to share with you as we wrap up 2020. Some of my wordings are going to be a little bit radical.

You are free to share your reservations in the comments section below.

I’m a believer and ascribe to the fundamentals of the Christian faith that Jesus was born of a virgin Mary, died, resurrected, ascended high above the heavens and he is seated at the right hand of the father.

He is our great advocate and intercessor before the father.

As believers, we are in him justified he is us glorified.

However, I have been in the church long enough to hear lots of sermons from different preachers and pastors of the word. I can only come to one conclusion: Much of what is touted as the gospel isn’t doctrinal but more of motivational/prosperity speeches with little grounding on doctrine.

The sad part is that people or rather churchgoers have been so accustomed to the prosperity gospel that when you introduce the gospel about who you can be in Jesus and how you can build a strong relationship with him, you look like the liar.

You become boring to their itching ears.

It’s true that believers are inheritors/partakers of the Abrahamic blessings. You will also agree with me that believers have been asked to seek God’s kingdom and his righteousness and all things shall be added unto them. But our focus shouldn’t be on the blessings, it should be on God and his kingdom and other things will be added.

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

Matthew 6:33 (NLV)

Let me Preach 🙂

Unfortunately, believers today practice the above verse vice versa. They seek things first then God later. By seeking things first, they pray less, attend fellowships less, study God’s word less, and everything less.

And this situation most likely stems from insufficient to zero grounding on doctrine because of wrong teachings of the word or none at all.

For example, do believers give because they are blessed or they will be blessed? Everything Jesus has done for the believer is in the past tense. Any gospel talking about Jesus will do is another gospel.

For the non-believers, Jesus will do, because they are not yet in him but for the believers he has done it all. But wait, Jesus did it and finished it all even for the non-believers.

He will not come from heaven again and be crucified to save those who don’t believe. All they have to do is believe in the finished work of the cross, repent and seek to grow spiritually.

I will not teach but I would encourage you to start listening to preachers of grace such as Joseph Prince, Abel Damina, and Andrew Wommack.

7. Build True and Genuine Friendships with People

I know of people in my phonebook who will only call because they are in distress or need a favor.

Once they get what they want they vanish only to remember you when they are in trouble again.

Those are not friends. I refer to them as parasites because they only show up to ravage on your resources. They are like the devil who only shows up to rob, kill and destroy.

To amount to something in this world, you need people. You can’t keep behaving in a way that makes them second guess you and expect their support.

If employed, never make a mistake of believing all your office colleagues are your friends. When you lose your job, a few will keep in touch or even remember to say Hi.

That’s when you will know who your true friends are. Sorry but true friendship is about give and take. You have to sacrifice you time, money, skills and energy to keep your friendship blossoming.

8. Guardian Angels in Life are Real. There is One for You

Sijasema uexpect malaika atoke heaven anafly, Lol! Unconventional wisdom denotes that their people in your life who will always vouch for you even when you suck sometimes.

I’m a freelance writer on the sidelines. While looking for work online, I happened to bump into my guardian angel.

We met in one of the Facebook freelancers group. We were all looking for freelance writing work. He happened to get one sooner and even asked me to lend him a hand.

He loved my work from the word go. Since then, he has always been referring me to potential clients over and over. Even when I seem to do a poor job sometimes, he still believes in my skills and ability to deliver.

We always share our joys and successes and keep encouraging each other in the freelance journey.

I believe everyone has this kind of person in life. Someone who is always rooting and vouching for you.

Methinks this kind of situation arises when you have proven your worth and are reliable in your craft or skill.

9. How Good are your Negotiation Skills? Believe me When I say you Can Negotiate through anything in Life

I recently got married. I’m from the Abaluhya tribe in Western Kenya. According to our customs, a young man intending to get married has to pay a bride price of 13 heads of cattle. And 2 goats to accompany the cattle.

Add to this pesa ya baba na mama na pia kashopo. Hehehe. I’m not done. There is always another interesting list of demands like gumboots, shoes, walking stick, hat, kabuti kwa English ni? and bla bla.

So before a young man cements the marriage relationship with her wife to be, it’s a must he pays dowry unless aibe tu. 🙂 What precedes dowry payment is dowry negotiation.

In my case, I had very good negotiators who gave me a breather during the dowry period. Phew!

The message I’m trying to drive home is that you can negotiate through anything in life. Be it a job interview, a business deal, a contract and you name it.

You may not be the best candidate for the job but the panel may ask you “Why do you think we should give you this job?”

Negotiate! I repeat negotiate.

My Upwork Story

I’m a freelancer on Upwork and at one point my account got suspended indefinitely. UUUUiii. My account was dormant for so long because I kept bidding for jobs in vain.

I had also followed some bad advice from an acquaintance that got me suspended from the platform.

I was suspended from working on the freelancing platform. It was on 24th of April 2018. One of the darkest days of my life.

Notification of my suspension from Upwork

Well, I was so disappointed to say the least. I started telling myself I’m not cut out for writing. I took a break and forgot about writing on Upwork for a while.

But something changed in me after getting inspired by Walter Akolo’s weekly emails in my mail box.

I chose to appeal their decision and Alas! These guys accepted me back. Couldn’t believe it. I was shocked I could be this good in making a case. See the screenshot below.

My appeal case to the Upwork marketplace

Check the date. hahah I had given up on Upwork for almost two years. Oooh man. Giving up is easier done than said.

See their response below

My Upwork Account reactivation

One of the happiest day in my life this year was on the 31st of January this year. My Upwork account was reinstated.

Currently, I have an ongoing contract on the platform.

My current contract on Upwork

You can negotiate through anything in life. You can go to the American embassy in your country and negotiate on why they need you in there country. ooh yes!

10. Siblings should Learn Teamwork Early before Adulthood

My dose of unconventional wisdom is still here.

Siblings! please! Learn team work when you are still young and leaving in your parents house. It becomes difficult to do anything meaningful as a team when you haven’t built this culture during childhood.

With age comes more responsibilities. Once you get a job or start a solid business, as a young adult, you are expected to move out of your parent’s home and start paying house rent and other bills.

Sooner you get married and you gonna start changing diapers. With your own family responsibilities, it’s increasingly hard to merge your resources with your siblings to run a project at your home place.

In most cases this happens, if you had never built the culture of doing things together as siblings.

As adults, one sibling is always trying to win the support of the rest in vain. It’s only through calamities or catastrophic events that you find such siblings pooling their resources together.

It isn’t the perfect scenario if you ask me. Build team work early in your family.

11. Borrow Money and Invest

The statement – Poor people save, rich people invest sounds like an insult to the efforts of the poor to becoming rich. But it’s another brutal truth you can’t ignore.

The poor and middle class save most of their hard earned cash in banks, SACCOs and microfinance institutions. The rich and wealthy or rather those with a wealth mentality go borrow this money and invest.

Ten years down the line, the investors are richer, the savers are not even an eighth of their financial goals.

I would say this, don’t just save because of the 50/30/20% rule. Save with a goal for a certain period of time and go invest that money.

It’s better you buy a flock of sheep that give birth every 9 months than put your money in a bank that gives you less than 9% interest per annum on your annual savings.

Bonds and shares are other better investment opportunities you could explore.

Also, think of ways you can multiply your income streams to manage your current lifestyle. With more income streams, you will have more to save and invest.

Don’t be afraid of borrowing huge loans via your payslip to invest. That’s what the rich are doing and moving forward.

Economics teaches to you to manage scarcity or what is there. So, for how long are you going to manage your salary? Unconventional Wisdom can teach you better.

Kes10,000/= in 1999 could buy a lot more than the same amount of money in 2020. I bet you are wise enough to see that. So why not invest?

12. Learn Early What Works for You so You Can Save Much Time and Energy

In life, their is always a stage of exploration and discovery before one settles down with a cut out path in life.

This reminds me of the common saying that life begins at 40. But sometimes we tend to waste much time with things that aren’t cut out for us.

The world, I believer would be a better place, if people knew well enough their purpose and calling. But what is the situation now? We are being defined by our education system and not who we are deep on the inside.

Someone went to school and studied Computer Science but their passion is not even in Computers but Agriculture. But society will want to pin you down by your degree and not your personal interests and passions.

In the journey of life their things you try overtime and they come to work out really well. On the contrary, some flop terribly.

Watch yourself, and know your strengths, skills, abilities and most importantly your passion so that you can leverage them into your destiny.

13. We have Many Success Stories but Few Tangible Mentors

In the West, when a simple, down to earth individual becomes a billionaire, you hear later they published a book or a memoir about their journey.

Of course not all millionaires or billionaires in the West do become authors. In my country, success stories are all over, but you can count real tangible mentors who can walk with you through the murky waters of success in life.

That tells you something, the individuals behind the success stories are shady. I don’t mean to say all successful people should publish books. I don’t hate the rich and not all wealthy people are shady but you need to look at the top billionaires in Africa and make your case.

But the least they can do is to mentor young people to be the giants they can be. My hat off for the Zimbabwean tech and media billionaire Strive Masiyiwa.

Strive has been using the Facebook platform to mentor young people into entrepreneurship and self-employment.

A challenge for you: Become your own success story and mentor someone else into your path.

Conclusion

This is the longest post I have ever written on this blog. Hope you found it intriguing and interesting. There is more I could write but I feel 3000 words about unconventional wisdom are enough for today. I leave to read and be the judge. If you want to join this discussion, feel free to leave a comment below. Wishing you a prosperous 2021.

Good Things Come to those who Wait

Good things come to those who wait

Really? Do good things come to those who wait, or is it just one of the many statements with white lies we know of?

The other question is wait for what things from where? BBI team? Jubilee or Uncle Sam?

The Waiting Wilderness

The world today makes you want good things thick and fast. So how in the world are you going to wait for good things to come your way?

Someone the other day was wondering why I haven’t bought a car yet. Hehe. We panga maisha yako achana na yangu boss!

In fact, I’m tempted to believe that the social norm today is not about being rich, it’s about looking rich. It’s about the perception you are rich.

So, all a young man needs to do is buy a fancy car? Some fancy clothing and build some mansion in the village or in a suburban plot of land somewhere and bam! You are damn rich men! Even with no money in your bank account or valuable assets.

Yet society will perceive someone walking in faded blue denim jeans and a Jubilee Tuko Pamoja T-shirt as poor. Hahahhha

The irony is this guy could be yule msee when you are cash-strapped and all your friends and enemies have turned their backs on you. Ye ana mali but hucheza chini, you get?

Yeah, the aforementioned scenario is an accurate reflection of the happenings in society today. Instant gratification, over expectations, flamboyancy dot the material world of vanity.

You are entitled to your opinion but the wisest man to have lived saw all these and he wrote in his book of Proverbs 13:7 (NIV):

One person pretends to be rich, yet has nothing; another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth.

A young man coming out of University wants to be paid Kes 60,000/ USD600 on their first job. Bro! I like your ambition, but people begin from the bottom and rise the ladder.

Sit and Wait or Act and Wait?

The statement “good things come to those who wait” shouldn’t be understood to sit, do nothing, and wish for some miracle to happen.

In the process of waiting you invest in yourself and build good habits that will make you a better version of yourself.

What are your dreams? or what is your purpose? Who do you want to become?

If you are serious about your dreams and what the future holds for you? then you should learn to wait. Fast or quick isn’t always right. Well, it could also be right but not the best for you.

Waiting doesn’t mean drowning in alcohol and indulging in sensational sex to feel you belong.

It’s all about taking responsibility for your life and make every decision you make count.

How to Wait

1. Get Busy and Productive

I will use a common saying here again – An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.

You have 24 hours in a day. You can choose to get engaged and productive or idle and destructive.

I have seen young people getting busy and keeping off activities that would destroy them. Similarly, I see young people who keep destroying themselves.

Jack, a young man I know is a great footballer. Daily except for Sunday, he is always on the football pitch training for the next tournament. Rarely do you find him sleeping in bed idle.

In three words, he is fit, disciplined and focused.

He knows he can be a great footballer and that’s why he invests time in fine-tuning his gaming skills.

Mary and Ian

Mary is in the Praise and Worship team in their church. Often, when you go looking for her or ring her, she will tell you she is church singing or praying.

How about Ian? He is always in his father’s business stall, helping him run the family business. He has little time for reckless and irresponsible living.

Ian is learning to be a business man, doesn’t he?

A Stark Contrast

On the other hand, Allan, is the exact opposite of the two above. He eats large chunks of food but he is very idle. And have you noticed how idle people get hungry very fast? Hahah

Allan can spend the whole day binge watching movies on a laptop or the TV set and chatting with ladies on the phone.

Mark you, we live in a time and age where you can read Personal Development books on your Smartphone or study a free course online.

Farming today is no longer a reserve of the old in society. Young people can embrace it and Allan is no exception.

Because of his untapped strength and idleness, Allan occasionally fornicates with young girls in the neighborhood. Ignoring the fact that he could contract STDs, get impotent or killed with Viagra or sire a baby he isn’t ready to take care of.

He also secretly goes for house parties, smokes weed and drinks lots of alcohol. Ooh poor boy! Bad habits die really hard.

And I don’t hate men, ladies have their fare share too. Laura has been caught severally by her parents sneaking. She does this in the wee hours of the night.

And for what reason? To drink and sleep with her boyfriend, old enough to be her father. Pathetic!

2. Keep Good Company

Guys! The truth is simple and plain or plain and simple? Ni kizungu ilikuja na meli but you get my point, don’t you?

Have you noted that if someone is trying to explain something simple to you in so many words either he is lying or not sure of what he is saying?

I come tell you, “Bad company corrupt good morals” I mean what’s so hard to understand about that? Or should I speak in French? Okay I will but sio sa huu.

In the waiting period learn to keep good company. Learn to walk with people you admire and aspire to be.

Even amongst your peers, some are better than you in life skills. You can learn something from them, right?

Good things come to those who wait by keeping good company.

3. Pray Without Ceasing

Prayer is a form of communication.

But in this case, you are not communicating to your friend but a higher power or deity – God

I know young people who pray. But a majority don’t. How I wish they could learn the secrets of prayer early in life and build this habit all the way.

Prayer invokes the power of God over natural situations in your life. It generates tremendous power to cause seismic shifts in your destiny and mold you to the person your maker wants you to become.

Prayer aligns you with the vision and purpose of God over your life.

In your waiting time, don’t sit idle. Join prayer caravans and seek God with all your heart. Walk with the prayer warriors and see your life get transformed.

And for the record, you don’t have to be in church to pray. Are you traveling? pray. Seated somewhere? Pray. Walking in a park? pray. If you can communicate when driving it means you can pray when driving.

Wrap Up

I feel I haven’t written enough of this post. But hope you understand it the way I’m trying to. Good things come to those who wait and you better learn to wait. Life is a journey and you need to enjoy your time in the waiting wilderness. Because you are going to remember those days when you get over with them.

Do you keep your words on Matters Time, Money?

keep your words

What does it mean to keep your words? I understand it to mean doing what you promised.

If you were to hold yourself accountable for keeping your words, what score would you give yourself on a scale of 1-10?

People can fail to keep their words on almost everything, but I find the aspect of failing to keep their words on matters of time and money more outstanding.

I’m still trying to figure out whether this is a Kenyan pandemic or global.

Did you fail on your Promise, or Someone Failed You?

For instance, people sound almost always sound very genuine when asking for help with anything, be it money, or a material need.

Trouble begins when they fail to keep their words, and you have to follow them constantly to remind them about doing what they promised.

And for the record, no one is an angel on keeping their words. You and I both know that once in a while we have been caught between a rock and a hard place in honoring our words, right?

But there is always a way around this: Communication. Rather than waiting for a follow-up call or visit from the person you owe the words, it’s better to explain yourself to the receiving party and assure them you are still on course in doing what you promised.

Wisdom dictates that you don’t make promises you can’t keep.

Relatable Cases

I once traveled with someone I will call a colleague because we once worked together in the same company.

A colleague can double up as a friend, but in this case, he was jus a colleague to me.

Mark as I would call him is always this silent and humble-looking guy who appears harmless even to hurt a fly. Unfortunately, beneath the humbleness was a mix of slyness and trickery.

The guy asked me for a “ruabe” – 200 bobs, claiming that he doesn’t have enough fare for his destination. He promised to refund the money in a week’s time.

Oh boy, I’m still wondering to date whether the one-week period came and went or it’s still coming.

My gut feeling strongly advised me against the move. Poor me wasn’t quick to smell dishonesty in the young man.

After constant reminders and calls that went unanswered, I had to let the money go. A perfect case of someone failing to keep their words.

Do you keep your words on matters time and money?

A Rogue Business Partner

Young people should learn early the importance of keeping their words when seeking help or favor from their peers or authority figures in their lives.

It’s hard coming across people who will go out of their way to support you financially or mentor you in a particular way.

Why in the world would you want to burn such a bridge?

So this young man comes to me to help him with a loan for a business he wants to start. He turns out to be my kin as well. Actually, what he wanted was just a small token to offset his business idea.

It was a genuine request for help, which I didn’t hesitate to honour.

Realizing how kind I was, he approached me once again for a partnership. I was doing a lady merchandise business online, and he had a shop that was running empty.

He requested that we work as a team, whereby I could offer him my products for display in his shop.

For a start, while testing the waters, I offered him three handbags at a cost of 6k – elfu sita ya Kenya kwa hii Corona my friend 🙂 🙂 🙂

To cut to the long chase, my kin sold all the three handbags without cashing me out.

It’s important to note here that it’s prudent to avoid any serious financial and worthwhile commitments with people you haven’t known for over six months.

This period gives you enough time to judge their character and know them for who they truly are. This is an exception if you own a mobile lending company or give loans as your product.

But even mobile lending apps, check your credit score before giving you anything worthwhile.

Matters Time

Do you keep your words on time and meeting appointments?

You know yourself best. A young African lady studying abroad, Germany to be exact, found herself in hot soup after she arrived late for an appointment with her lecturer.

The old man had turned red hot and was beyond the boiling point. “How dare you come late?” he must have barked.

It’s like people only keep time during important job interviews. Other appointments like dates, church, and Chama meetings leave the early birds grumbling and regretting coming early.

Young people should know that keeping their words goes a long way in building their careers and professionalism in life.

Don’t fall into the culture of not keeping your words on important appointments in your life.

You will keep your words next time, won’t you?

4 Ways You Could Improve Your Life

improve your life

Do you want to improve your life or do you ever think about improving your life? If so, that’s a good thing. It means you are development-conscious and you want a better version of your current life.

On the contrary, the process of improving your life is not as easy as you may think. It is as hard as coming out of your comfort zone. Like a child learning to walk, break out of the current you into the former you.

Improving your life means investing in yourself so you can be better at something. In the marketplace, being a jack of all trades never sells. Therefore, for you to stand out, you need to offer more value than ordinary folk.

I’m sorry if you expected me to talk about money. Young adults you will have to bear with me here. Money should be a means to an end. And that’s why billionaires keep making it when you think they have made it already.

So. let me cut to the chase. Here are four ways you can improve your life.

1. Enroll for an Online Course

The world is a global village thanks to the digital space we live in currently. With a smartphone and internet bundles from your telecommunication provider, you could easily get a certificate or diploma from MIT.

Young people through college shouldn’t waste their precious time editing their social media profiles repeatedly.

Take advantage of the free online courses on the internet today to have a vantage point in the marketplace. Whether it’s at your place of work or in your business, an online course helps spruce up your work skills.

Coursera is a common online course platform that you could study lots of courses, whether free or paid, and earn yourself a certificate. For the record, the Ministry of ICT Kenya is in partnership with Coursera to provide workplace skills for the Kenyan youth.

You can download the Coursera app on your phone and keep going.

Improve your life by studying some more so you can earn yourself a fortune.

2. Learn a New Language

Whether local or international, a new language can open you to other frontiers in life. Which language are you interested in? Is it French, Swedish, Chinese, or the local language of your country? Start learning it right now.

Similar to studying an online course, learning a new language also makes you valuable in the marketplace. Multinational companies would be happy to hire an employee who is bilingual.

If an entrepreneur or doing business, learning a new language will open your venture to more marketplaces.

A translator who knows has the added value of working with people from different walks of life.

To get moving, quickly download the Duolingo app on your smartphone or desktop and start learning. It’s never too late. They teach you a new language at both basic and intermediate levels.

3. Practice Mindfulness

A lot is happening in the world today. You are lucky to be alive if reading this. The world economy is now grappling with a pandemic. We have lost lives. People have lost jobs. We have lost businesses and some are struggling to maintain valuable relationships.

Against such a catastrophic backdrop, it helps to maintain your mental health. One simple way to practice mindfulness is by meditating.

Early in the mornings or late in the evenings, set aside time to meditate and have a serene time with your thoughts. Don’t make it harder, so you give up faster.

A meditation could be as short as three minutes or as long as 20 minutes. May you have been thinking about a way you can have more mental clarity or focus. Or maybe you are looking for some relaxation after running up and down the entire day and want to ease some tension? Meditation is what you need.

Start off by downloading the Headspace app on your phone and get shit done. By practicing mindfulness, you let go of the tension, the worries, you become more productive, improving your life.

4. Interact with Better People than You

If you are ever the best in your circle, you better start thinking of finding a new outfit. It’s only by challenging ourselves that we can improve our lives.

The common adage goes that birds of the same feather flock together. You are wise if you surround yourself with people who you want to become like.

“I have no successful people around me?” You may ask. Though important, you don’t have to interact with successful people physically to feel you are doing something worth your time.

You could interact with their ideas online. Read their books, listen to their podcasts, and watch their shows. It’s that simple.

What do you want or what is it you are looking for? A successful marriage, wealth, to be an accomplished entrepreneur. You name it! Society is never in lack of trail blazers and icons in your line of interest.

Wrap Up

There is nothing I have recommended to you on this post that I’m not doing myself. Young people, especially if single with some money in their pockets, have a lot of free time they could use to improve their lives

We all have 24 hours in a day. You could kill it with loose women and men or binge-watching on Netflix, but it’s your life anyway, right? Nevertheless, if you want to improve your life, try out these four tips, and let’s talk later.

The digital space has made a lot of online resources more available at our disposal than we could ever imagine. You are just an app away from improving your life. Whatever journey you are on in your life, there is always something you can do to make it better.

Improve your life for a better tomorrow.

7 Simple Priceless Ways to Keep a Positive Attitude when you feel Negative

keep a positive attitude

In a world where suicides resulting from stress and depression are on the rise, what price would you pay to keep a positive attitude?  

Maybe there isn’t. But to some extent, a long positive life doesn’t come on a silver platter. There is a way you could go about things in your life to make you stay positive. 

According to the World Health Organization, depression is a common mental disorder. It affects over 264 million people of all ages across the world. It’s also a major contributor to the global disease burden. However, you shouldn’t confuse it with typical mood fluctuations and mild stress levels arising from everyday challenges. 

WHO also reports that 800,000 people commit suicide every year. Suicide is the second leading cause of death in the world among 15-29-year-olds. 

Your mental health is key for your survival. Your thoughts are your source of your life. Learn to master them and you have solved 80% of the problems in your life. Your heart is the wellspring of life. Here, we give you simple but kick ass tips that will keep you positive and living longer. 

Keep reading

1. Keep a Positive Attitude through Hope

According to the Merriam Webster, Dictionary, hope as a doing word  is to cherish a desire with anticipation. As a noun, from the same source, hope is desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfilment. 

The opposite of hope is despair. You may despair because you feel life has no meaning anymore. Still, you could lose hope because of trouble in your life that made you suffer. 

On the same note, you could lose your hope because of a series of empty promises from both friends and enemies. 

But I’m here to tell you to keep the hope. Keep it because it will protect you when people may want to take advantage of your desperate situation. 

You need to keep the hope because it will help you envision something beautiful out of life. According to the American psychology Association, children who grew up in poverty and ended up being successful had one thing in common: Hope 

2. Handle Criticism in a Healthier Way

Criticism is the act of finding fault in someone or something. In most cases, criticism is never about the receiver but the person speaking it. How many times in your life have you shied away from what you want to do in life because of the fear of criticism? 

Often, fear of criticism leads to impassivity, sucking the joy and life out of you. Nevertheless, you shouldn’t fear criticism, but you would rather handle it in a healthier way. 

Often, fear of criticism leads to impassivity, sucking the joy and life out of you. Nevertheless, you shouldn’t fear criticism, but you would rather handle it in a healthier way. 

Diving deep and further, you can learn to handle criticism in a healthier way rather than running away from it. 

For instance, some comments can be a criticism if we take them to the heart or make them personal. On the contrary, you can make the situation less tense by laughing the comments off. 

At best, it is good not to reply but let go. But if you must reply, you may want to start with a question to hear the criticism once more.  To add on, you could turn the criticism into a positive situation for you or make it a light moment. 

3. Turn the Negatives thrown at you into Positives

To keep a positive attitude even when feeling negative, you need to take control of your mind. Be strong mentally. Just as negativity is all around us, positivity is also there. The key takeaway here is to have a mind that is flexible. 

If a situation turns out to be negative and less of what you expected, remain collected, sober and figure out what you should do next. It’s easier to figure out Plan B when you are still collected. 

It also helps to have positive comments for negative remarks thrown at you. Of course, you are not a computer that has a line of thought for every word that people feed into your ears. But having a word that turns out a negative remark for your good makes you feel a lot better.

Turning the negatives into positives also means pushing the negative thoughts out of your mind. Yes, they can pass by but don’t allow them to settle. 

4. Avoid Self-Condemning Thoughts

It’s good to take responsibility for your silly decisions or mistakes in life, but it’s never healthy to blame yourself. Tell me of one person who doesn’t make mistakes and I will show you a ghost. 

You must come to terms with the fact that every day in your life is an opportunity for you to rebuild your self-image. Whether you sucked or embarrassed yourself the day before, having the courage to pick yourself up and get moving is what makes the difference.

So, learn to keep a positive attitude by filling your mind with good thoughts about yourself. 

For instance, if you are a believer and study the Christian Bible, then you must know Christ died for you on the cross while you were still a sinner. 

Christ forgave you and imputed God’s righteousness on you. If you catch yourself sinning or falling into sin, always tell yourself you are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus and eventually you will be. Isn’t it written the righteous will live by faith? 

Self-condemning thoughts hardly add any value to you but take out all the positivity in you, leaving you deflated. Think well about you. 

5. Find Positivity Within you

My script about keeping a positive attitude may not be of much help to you if you won’t discover the positivity you carry within. 

Further, all of us are born positive until when we allow negative life experiences to shape our mentalities. If you carry positivity within you, negative situations or experiences will not linger on you for long because they will have to find another like environment to go. 

By nature you are positive. But most people refuse to hold on to this reality and listen to what the world will tell them they are. 

Put another way, you are God’s creation, fearfully and wonderfully made. Whether people categorize you as beautiful or ugly, it won’t negate the fact that God created you wonderfully. Find solace in the positivity within you. 

6. Tell Yourself it Could be Worse

You could be the most pious person or a fugitive, but none of your statuses could make you immune of daily life challenges. Accidents occur in our lives from time to time. But somehow, somewhat, you always find yourself alive again to tell your story. 

The main issue is, we don’t have insurance for negative life events. 

Anytime you find yourself in a situation that is so hard to bear, always tell yourself you are lucky because it could have been worse. 

To the best of my knowledge, the worst that could happen in your life is when you lose your life. Anything else that doesn’t kill strengthens you.

7. Find your Purpose in Life

Purpose is the reason why something exists. What’s the reason for your existence? The key to keep a positive attitude is to discover the reason you exist. 

Besides anything else, discovering your purpose in life is the greatest thing you’ll ever find. The world is full of successful people who are devoid of purpose. Despite the affluence and the mega lifestyle they live, they always find themselves unfulfilled and feeling empty. 

Yes, money will make life easier for you but it won’t fulfill you because you will keep looking for it even after you have made your billions. Come to think of it, materialism and fame also fall in the same category with money. 

Your true purpose in life is not inward facing. It’s outward. You are in the world for a reason and finding that reason is the best fulfillment. What do people say about you?  Or what do you find easier doing? Getting answers to these questions could kick-start your journey to discovering your purpose. 

Summing Up

To keep a positive attitude is a matter of choice. You have the power to do it. Keeping a positive attitude is not all about smiling and looking good. It’s something deeper that comes from within you. Make the choice today of observing the positive heart-warming list and see yourself live a life of positive attitude. 

Dying to Self to Live for Christ

Dying to self and Living for Christ

Hey there, what does the term dying to self mean?

It means to let go your old way of life and embrace someone else’s life.

I want to tickle your mind today with an interesting conversation. Imagine your health has failed you completely. You are on the verge of death. But just as you are about to breathe your last, a stranger comes over and offers to die for you instead.

If this stranger gives his life for you, it means you can no longer live for yourself. You die to self and live for him.

This may sound ridiculous and an out of this world conversation. But think for a moment if someone was to offer you his life to redeem yours. Wouldn’t it just be amazing to be given your life back freely?

And more interesting will be the fact that the stranger who volunteered his life for you never asked for anything in return.

God’s Salvation Plan

What you will find out is that there is somebody who died for you already. That somebody has a name, and I refer to him as Jesus Christ. Through his death, he granted you eternal life. Dying to self comes with no sacrifice. All you have to do is believe in the one man who gave his life for you.

Let me break this down further for you.

God, the creator, created the first man, Adam, and his companion Eve. He placed them in the garden of Eden and gave them some rules to live by. But because of deception from the devil, Eve was deceived and also convinced her husband to eat the fruit from the forbidden fruit.

The consequence of disobedience was that Adam and Eve lost fellowship with God and he chased them from the garden of Eden. God out of his love and mercy shed blood from a lamb and covered their nakedness with the sheep’s skin.

Now, every human being who lives on planet earth is a descendant from the fallen state of the first man, Adam. And so through one man’s disobedience, they made all humans sinners.

Romans 5:19

For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.

So man now has a sinful nature and there is nothing he can do to get rid of that sinful nature. He is dead to self. He doesn’t have the capacity nor the wherewithal to get rid of sin. But God is a loving and just God and he had a plan in place for human failings.

So God sends his only begotten son, Jesus Christ, to restore man back to fellowship with him. We have to understand one thing here. That God is a Spirit and those who worship him must worship in Spirit and truth.

John 4:24


God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.

The first man Adam before his fall had fellowship with God through all the time. But after his fall, he became like one dead and lost his fellowship with God. His Spirit lost fellowship with God.

Great. Up to this point, let’s read the following verse:

John 3:16

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

So man is still a sinner only if he fails to renounce his sins by repenting and believing in the son of God, Jesus Christ. Because why did Christ come.

Let’s read the following key verse:

Isaiah 53:5

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.

Through his sufferings, death on the cross, and resurrection, all sinners are forgiven of their sins, and their transgressions are remembered no more. And so Christ died for the sinner who had no life that he may have eternal life. And also through his death there is healing, deliverance and justification.

Dying to Self

Here is my question. Do you have a desire to know Christ and be in fellowship with him? It calls for dying to self. Repent of your sins today and believe in the finished work of the Cross and you will be saved.

Here is what happens when you welcome Christ into your life:

2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

If you have more questions about Jesus and the message of the cross, please reach out to me via the following contact details. Dying to self to embrace mastership to someone can only occur by faith.

Here is a Prayer of Faith in Jesus Christ

Heavenly Father,

I believe Jesus Christ is the Son of God. He died on the Cross for all my sins. He died on the Cross for all my sins and you raised him from the dead for my justification.

Jesus Christ is my Lord and my Savior. In him, I have everlasting life. All my sins, past, present, and future are forgiven.

You have filled me with the Holy Spirit. The Spirit of Power, Love, and a Sound Mind. Thank you, Lord Jesus, and from now on I will live a life where my Spirit and my body will glorify you.

Keep my body strong. Keep my body healthy. I want to serve you with my body. Keep me young for your glory. In Jesus name Amen.

Celebrate Jesus, for he has purchased you with His precious blood. You have died to self and now alive in him.

Rape: A Recurring Agony Society Isn’t Ready to Deal with Yet

Two days ago, as I skimmed through my emails, I came across an email that had just skipped me by.

It was not one of the regular mails or subscriptions I receive daily. No, not those. It was about rape: a recurring agony in society today.

My eyes quickly got the allure, and I clicked the unread email in my inbox.

Sex is Sacred but See This

The charm was the word Sexual Violence. I was curious to find out what is this someone offered me on sexual violence.

Okay, to cut the chase, guess what? It was an offer for a review of an e-book about Sexual Violence, hope, and healing titled – To The Survivors

This is a subject I have never explored myself, even though it’s deeply engraved in society.

And so, thanks to Robert Uttaro A.K.A Bobby, I plunged into the unchartered. So while doing some research on personal development blogs, Robert bumped into my blog.

That’s where we hit it off. Now, here is the sad truth, sexual violence affects not only the body. It also affects many facets of your well-being, including your mind, heart, and soul.

Rape: A Recurring Agony-Which Category do you identify with

The bigger question here is from what perspective do you understand the subject of sexual violence or rape: a recurring agony in society. Are you a victim, perpetrator, a witness, a counselor or both?

The latter two may never understand the agony the former went through. There are a lot of issues surrounding rape incidence, healing, and recovery. You will be left wondering how can a rape victim go through it all?

And just to give you a picture of what transpires after these are the potential effects of sexual violence that may last years after:

NightmaresDisbeliefVulnerability
ShockChanges in sleeping patternsSafety concerns
ShameConfusionDifficulty concentrating
GuiltStartle responsesChanges in eating patterns
SadnessFearDepression
AnxietyAngerBecoming suicidal
EmbarrassmentLoss of ControlDistrust
Effects of Sexual violence

There is also the other question on the perpetrator. What leads them to commit the act?

Do they always feel guilty about it or the act become their way of life? Do they need therapy as well? Surely they do.

Have you witnessed a rape incident before? How did this make you feel about life and the whole situation? How you respond reflects your state of wellbeing towards this subject.

Ask yourself how do you understand the subject of rape: a recurring agony in society. A few questions to ask yourself would be Who is a rape victim? And maybe what would make someone start sex with someone else without their consent?

The fact is statistics on rape cases aren’t damn right as their many instances of rape cases that go unrecorded.

The victim, the perpetrator, and the witness all turn out to be rape survivors. And society needs to address all these groups satisfactorily if we are all to arrive at an amicable solution.

Rape Myths Demystified

A rapist in the words of Bobby is not the typical lunatic hiding in a bush somewhere, nor the bloodshot guy you see across the streets.

If that is your mental picture of a rapist, I don’t blame you. I used to have that in mind too until I met Robert.

Many are times rape victims get violated by people they know. I’m saying this through a counselor’s eye who has had to withhold so many tear droplets while listening to harrowing stories of rape survivors.

Many attested to the fact that the people who violated them were close family members, men of the clock, acquaintances, colleagues and the list was endless.

A rapist is not the out of mind, unkempt fool you could think of right now. A good case in point is being sexually graded by your University lecturer who threatens to withhold your marks if you don’t fall for their antics.

I’m sure you will agree with me that society has not been very supportive of giving solace to rape victims. First, because few believe rape survivors, let alone listen to them. Imagine a situation where a smartly dressed lady shows up at a police station to report that somebody raped her.

The police somehow will doubt her story and begin asking the questions that appear to blame her. Perpetrators appear so innocent and can be pleasant men and women in society, which makes it hard for people to believe they can perform such a heinous act. This video sheds more light on the matter.

The other mental picture that we put into our minds when we hear of a rape victim is a torn dress, bruised limbs, bleeding, and unkempt hair. While this is a potential scenario, not all rape incidences turn survivors into such a state. And so it becomes very easy not to believe a rape survivor when he or she comes smartly dressed and tells you they were raped.

We are also wrong to have the lop-sided view that 99% of rape victims are women. Both sexes are prone to rape, and being a victim is not anyone’s fault. So it’s never about women and girls alone, but men and boys too.

How Should Society Support Rape Survivors?

The justice system has never been the best avenue in supporting victims of rape cases. After having gone through the devastating and shameful experiences, the justice system usually subjects them to another lengthy process of identifying and testifying against the perpetrator.

Worst of it all is the fact that without a witness, the rape case will collapse and the perpetrator will walk Scot-free to lay hold on another innocent soul.

What rape survivors need is the best therapy they could find to take them through the healing process. This brings me to the acronym BLESS.

In the words of Robert, society should support rape survivors by

  • Believing in them.
  • Listen: Pay attention to them if they need to cry or talk.
  • Empathize with them.
  • Safety: Take care of their physical, emotional, spiritual safety.
  • Support: Give them support in whatever way they need.

To find out more about Robert’s work and what he has written about Rape Survivors, I will refer you to his E-book: To the Survivors that you can find through this Amazon link.

Let’s discuss this in the comments below

Best Wishes.

Landing a Job Today is Easy with these 7 Tips

landing a job
landing a job |Image courtesy: practicalmoneyskills.com

Is landing a job a familiar phrase, or it arouses feelings of anger in you? And you are just thinking about how much of a loser you have become.

You have been burning the midnight oil drafting C.Vs only for them to end up in a dustbin.

Well, it’s not like I have a job to offer you now but I’m here to walk you through this and perhaps if not possibly make you land your dream job. Or at worse, get a job towards that trajectory.

Landing a Job: The Status Quo

More than ever, literacy levels are up and high. Institutions of higher learning are churning out graduates in various fields into the job market.

Unfortunately for them, it’s one of the worst times to seek employment. Corporate Kenya is ailing and job cuts by companies are a common trend today.

Neither are the employed any safer. Pay rise and promotions are becoming rare by the day.

More than ever, literacy levels are up and high, institutions of higher learning are churning out graduates in various fields into the job market. Unfortunately for graduates, it’s one of the worst times to seek employment.

It’s no longer a surprise to be hit by worrisome newspaper headlines. They are now part of the trending news.

Why Kenya is trapped in a debt spiral

Alarm as 388 Kenyan firms dissolved in 6 months

Kenyans with Ksh 100,000 in bank fall to thirteen year low

All these a clear indicator that the Kenyan economy has seen better days.

Companies are tightening their budgets by the day as a measure to stagnate the wage bill. This is also to help safeguard their profit margins.

Some have never recovered fully from the aftermath of bungled elections in 2007. Brick and mortar corporations and organizations like Posta Kenya are on the brink of extinction.

The digital era now strides colossally in the communication space.

Unlike in the ’70s and ’80s when fresh graduates would be in the payroll system a few days after graduation, the situation today is one to be pitied.

As the cliche goes, tarmacking and gambling are the norm today as the youth resort to unethical methods of sustaining their livelihoods. How then is landing a job something achievable in the status quo?

If you are still with me, that’s great. It’s time to cut the chase and hit the nail on the head.

Job Warfare

You need to understand that this is not a surefire strategy that is guaranteed to land you a job today.

However, chances are that it will give you a fresh perspective of things and help you towards changing your fortunes.

The job market today is no longer about sending resumes but building connections through networking. So, the number one secret to landing a job today is to

Network

Network by building reliable connections that guarantee you results someday.

Linkedin is a suitable site to start you off. You want to have a strong profile that lists your skill set and work experience that will make potential employers come knocking.

Volunteer

You lose nothing by choosing to volunteer. Some have volunteered for organizations like the RED CROSS and got to land lucrative job opportunities.

Referrals

This is more or less like leveraging on your connections to sell you to potential employers they know.

Once you make them aware of your key competencies, it would be easier for them to sell you to the best opportunity available.

Skill-match your CV

Tailor-make your resume to suit the skills and experience a potential employer is looking for.

Sending a blanket cover letter and resume to potential employers is a guaranteed way to making sure that you land no job.

The takeaway here is to make sure you create a resume that matches the skill set an employer is looking for.

For instance, a banking experience would be irrelevant in the medical field.

Avoid Being Choosy

Yes, I know you are a computer scientist from a reputable university. But just because someone is offering you a job out of your field is not enough reason to throw it down the drain.

Often, life will hand to you what you don’t want before you get what you want.

Grab that first opportunity and use it as a leverage to network, and build meaningful connections.

Their pay may be meager, but over time it’s bound to increase. It’s no longer a secret that some top company employees first began as casual workers in their organizations. Start with the end goal in mind.

Consider Self-employment

If you are a technician, a chef, a plumber, or painter you can as well self employ yourself and build yourself a business that will help employ other people. These skill sets are rarely taught in Kenyan universities but in polytechnics and tertiary institutions. Find a skill your hand can do.

Make yourself Valuable

I know you have a degree or a master’s in a given field. You are very proud of it but hey! Education is just part of the endless learning process.

You never stop learning and researching unless you want to expire sooner. Always make yourself relevant in your field of specialization. You can do this by attending workshops, conferences, and studying more.

Bottom Line

In searching for a job today, it’s not only about writing the perfect C.V. Focus your energy on building meaningful workplace connections. You can be sure this will be a significant investment that will pay off someday. Follow the tips we offer you today and it won’t be long before you stop filling a loser. Share this with a friend and encourage someone on the path of landing a job.