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Rape: A Recurring Agony Society Isn’t Ready to Deal with Yet

Two days ago, as I skimmed through my emails, I came across an email that had just skipped me by.

It was not one of the regular mails or subscriptions I receive daily. No, not those. It was about rape: a recurring agony in society today.

My eyes quickly got the allure, and I clicked the unread email in my inbox.

Sex is Sacred but See This

The charm was the word Sexual Violence. I was curious to find out what is this someone offered me on sexual violence.

Okay, to cut the chase, guess what? It was an offer for a review of an e-book about Sexual Violence, hope, and healing titled – To The Survivors

This is a subject I have never explored myself, even though it’s deeply engraved in society.

And so, thanks to Robert Uttaro A.K.A Bobby, I plunged into the unchartered. So while doing some research on personal development blogs, Robert bumped into my blog.

That’s where we hit it off. Now, here is the sad truth, sexual violence affects not only the body. It also affects many facets of your well-being, including your mind, heart, and soul.

Rape: A Recurring Agony-Which Category do you identify with

The bigger question here is from what perspective do you understand the subject of sexual violence or rape: a recurring agony in society. Are you a victim, perpetrator, a witness, a counselor or both?

The latter two may never understand the agony the former went through. There are a lot of issues surrounding rape incidence, healing, and recovery. You will be left wondering how can a rape victim go through it all?

And just to give you a picture of what transpires after these are the potential effects of sexual violence that may last years after:

NightmaresDisbeliefVulnerability
ShockChanges in sleeping patternsSafety concerns
ShameConfusionDifficulty concentrating
GuiltStartle responsesChanges in eating patterns
SadnessFearDepression
AnxietyAngerBecoming suicidal
EmbarrassmentLoss of ControlDistrust
Effects of Sexual violence

There is also the other question on the perpetrator. What leads them to commit the act?

Do they always feel guilty about it or the act become their way of life? Do they need therapy as well? Surely they do.

Have you witnessed a rape incident before? How did this make you feel about life and the whole situation? How you respond reflects your state of wellbeing towards this subject.

Ask yourself how do you understand the subject of rape: a recurring agony in society. A few questions to ask yourself would be Who is a rape victim? And maybe what would make someone start sex with someone else without their consent?

The fact is statistics on rape cases aren’t damn right as their many instances of rape cases that go unrecorded.

The victim, the perpetrator, and the witness all turn out to be rape survivors. And society needs to address all these groups satisfactorily if we are all to arrive at an amicable solution.

Rape Myths Demystified

A rapist in the words of Bobby is not the typical lunatic hiding in a bush somewhere, nor the bloodshot guy you see across the streets.

If that is your mental picture of a rapist, I don’t blame you. I used to have that in mind too until I met Robert.

Many are times rape victims get violated by people they know. I’m saying this through a counselor’s eye who has had to withhold so many tear droplets while listening to harrowing stories of rape survivors.

Many attested to the fact that the people who violated them were close family members, men of the clock, acquaintances, colleagues and the list was endless.

A rapist is not the out of mind, unkempt fool you could think of right now. A good case in point is being sexually graded by your University lecturer who threatens to withhold your marks if you don’t fall for their antics.

I’m sure you will agree with me that society has not been very supportive of giving solace to rape victims. First, because few believe rape survivors, let alone listen to them. Imagine a situation where a smartly dressed lady shows up at a police station to report that somebody raped her.

The police somehow will doubt her story and begin asking the questions that appear to blame her. Perpetrators appear so innocent and can be pleasant men and women in society, which makes it hard for people to believe they can perform such a heinous act. This video sheds more light on the matter.

The other mental picture that we put into our minds when we hear of a rape victim is a torn dress, bruised limbs, bleeding, and unkempt hair. While this is a potential scenario, not all rape incidences turn survivors into such a state. And so it becomes very easy not to believe a rape survivor when he or she comes smartly dressed and tells you they were raped.

We are also wrong to have the lop-sided view that 99% of rape victims are women. Both sexes are prone to rape, and being a victim is not anyone’s fault. So it’s never about women and girls alone, but men and boys too.

How Should Society Support Rape Survivors?

The justice system has never been the best avenue in supporting victims of rape cases. After having gone through the devastating and shameful experiences, the justice system usually subjects them to another lengthy process of identifying and testifying against the perpetrator.

Worst of it all is the fact that without a witness, the rape case will collapse and the perpetrator will walk Scot-free to lay hold on another innocent soul.

What rape survivors need is the best therapy they could find to take them through the healing process. This brings me to the acronym BLESS.

In the words of Robert, society should support rape survivors by

  • Believing in them.
  • Listen: Pay attention to them if they need to cry or talk.
  • Empathize with them.
  • Safety: Take care of their physical, emotional, spiritual safety.
  • Support: Give them support in whatever way they need.

To find out more about Robert’s work and what he has written about Rape Survivors, I will refer you to his E-book: To the Survivors that you can find through this Amazon link.

Let’s discuss this in the comments below

Best Wishes.

4 replies on “Rape: A Recurring Agony Society Isn’t Ready to Deal with Yet”

The need support from wellwishires and love once to comfort them in this time of pain in their life with word of good councilloring to heal the heart and have
Compassion toward them. Prayers is very important too and the need for prayer from a care take and a love one it will help to heal the wound in the heart fast . Very significant blems should nt be apportion only by caring and prayers alone please.

Hi Kingsley,
Thank you for finding the time to be part of these discussions. Indeed providing them with the right support environment through prayer and right counsel will expedite their healing.

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