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Life changing Parenting

Father’s Responsibility

Where did Father’s Miss the Mark?

The question is not rhetorical. It needs answers. What is the father’s responsibility? Because many sons and daughters in society today lack fatherhood love.

On a local television program, I listened with empathy as young people lamented about the lack of a father figure in their lives.                                             

It’s clear that many youths are asking plenty of questions about their fathers. Well, this begs the question when did men abdicate thier fathers’ responsibility?

Of the hundreds of participants who took part in the program, a paltry 20% acknowledged the presence of a good father in their lives.

The remaining 80% lamented on their absentee fathers. Numbers don’t lie.

My Childhood Experience

Growing up, I knew my father to be the best in the world. Being the teacher he was, discipline was the number one virtue he instilled in us.

To top that up, he was there for all of us, including my siblings and I. He endeavored to educate every one of us up to university level.

Similarly, dad would not spare the rod when he had to put it to good use. Well, at that young age, I felt this was an unfair punishment.

More disturbing was the fact that we could all carry the blame for the mistake of the one mischievous chap and get an equal number of lashes.

The Fruits

Going back down the memory lane, I now see why dad had to instil discipline in us. Over the years, I have reaped the fruits of being disciplined in my life. Not necessarily to the authority figures in my life, but my personal life as well.

If there is one thing I’m grateful to dad for, it’s the culture of reading he nurtured in me.

By the time a man realises that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he is wrong

Charles Wadsworth

Reading and writing became part and parcel of my life at quite an early age. If I remember, countless are the days I read the long outdated “Hallo Children” English course book for lower primary.

I also read a lot of short novels such as the “Moses series” and in there the so-called Mukibi Institute of the sons of African gentlemen by Barbara Kimenye. God rest her soul in peace.

Getting out of bed, even before breakfast, I could get down to reading out loud whatever material was at my disposal.

Dad would be there to admonish me to go on. Isn’t this what you would call a father’s responsibility?

Dad would be there to admonish me to go on. Isn’t this what you would call a father’s responsibility?

All newspapers that dad bought and read could ultimately find a way into my hands.

Train your Child at an Early Age

In the Bible, we read about training a child on the way he should go, and he will never depart from it.

Today, I’m a living testimony of the statement above. I read a myriad of materials on end.

The Amazon Kindle app is now an excellent companion. Still buying books in there and counting.

I’m currently reading “The Man in the Mirror” by Patrick Morley and my next book in line is “Money Master the Game” by Tony Robbins.

One common informal saying goes that if you want to hide something from them that don’t read, hide it inside the pages of a book.

I don’t know whether this is true for a fact, but many find it difficult to focus on a book for hours.   

I have been through school. One thing I have realized about life is that you don’t study it by going to school but through personal reading.

Consider this, or else you are losing it.  To master life, study it by reading the great minds of the men and women who lived before you.

To master life, study it by reading the great minds of the men and women who lived before you.

Irresponsible Fathers

That said, lately, the trend of irresponsible and absentee fathers is becoming common.

Not only is it a warring trend but a bomb that has exploded already. From the program that aired live on TV, the speakers in attendance put it clear to us that there are three types of fathers about the fatherhood crisis.

Children today are victims of being “under fathered,” “misfathered” and “unfathered”

Under fathered to mean little of dad at home, always at work. He only shows up for a short time and leaves.

Going by the research done on fathers, many participants lamented on the fact that their dads could only spend 18 minutes or less with their families.

About being “misfathered,” many talked about the lack of parental love, a dad who is abusive, violent, and uncaring.

Just like the first two, “Unfathered” participants complained about not knowing their dads.

In all these scenarios, society needs to ask some tough questions regarding fathers and what is becoming of young men who have not experienced the presence of a father in their lives. If they lost their dads at a young age because of death, this is an all different case.

Are Mothers to Blame?

Is it possible that mothers could also be a contributing factor to the lack of a father’s responsibility?

Take, for example, mothers who cannot reveal the identity of their husbands to their children. Such actions by mothers could stem from the fact that they may have gotten the child in question in a harrowing way, like rape.

Alternatively, the father may have neglected the upbringing of the child.

Parents have a responsibility of taking care of their kids emotionally, mentally, and physically and more so in the ways of God.

Nonetheless, I will talk about Jonathan Edwards. He is an 18th century American revivalist preacher.

He gives an excellent example of what it means to be a great father and a parent at large.  

Tracing his children and grandchildren, the American Educator A.E Winship, discovered new statistics about the descendants of Jonathan 150 years later after his death.

Out of his descendants. There was:

  • 1 U.S vice president
  • 3 U.S senators
  • Three governors
  • Three mayors
  • 13 college presidents
  • 30 judges
  • 65 professors
  • 80 public office holders
  • 100 lawyers
  • 100 missionaries

One hundred fifty years after you cease to exist, what legacy would you want to leave behind in your family?

Can we make a vow as millennials to nurture our children in the right ways and give them the best love a father could ever give?

In contrast to Jonathan Edwards life lived Max Jukes. Max Jukes left behind a horrible legacy after his death thanks to his wayward descendants. He had: 

  • Seven murderers
  • 60 thieves
  • 50 women of debauchery
  • 130 other convicts
  • 310 paupers
  • 400 physically wrecked by indulgent living

Can we make a vow as millennials to nurture our children in the right ways and give them the best love a father could ever give?

Bottom Line

To solve the fatherhood crisis in the society today, we have to accept the fact that it is a present challenge in the community today.

Many are suffering as a result. However, all is not lost. If a victim of the fatherhood crisis, you need not dwell on what you are missing.

Dwell on what you already have. Have an attitude of gratitude. Personally own up your situation and take time to heal as you seek to accept and forgive your dad.

In the same way, the government and like-minded institutions should avail mentors in schools. They will be handy in offering emotional and mental support to students dealing with the fatherhood crisis.

Men! It’s your time to stand up and take the father’s responsibility over your children.

If you want to voice your opinions on this issue, leave a comment in the comments section below.

2 replies on “Father’s Responsibility”

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