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Focus on Who You are Becoming not What You Deserve

Focus on who you are becoming
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You vs Your Environment

Friends, family, acquaintances, old schoolmates, colleagues and I included always have something to say about pertinent life issues. These issues mostly surround our environment.

In the Gospels, in the book of Matthew, Jesus Christ admonishes his disciples. He tells them to first focus on their own selves before raising up their hand to point a finger to the faults of their neighbor. 

Stephen R. Covey

In his bestseller, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey mentions the circle of influence and the circle of concern.

Many people fall into the second circle. It’s called the circle of concern. The circle of concern is the category of people who focus on concerns beyond their control and what is outside their power of influence.

Complaining about how bad the weather is doesn’t make things get better.

Same way, whining about how corrupt and selfish our political leaders are doesn’t change them but only serves to hurt you more.

And therefore, by focusing on things you cannot control, Covey argues you decrease your circle of influence.

Complaining about how bad the weather is doesn’t make things get better. Same way, whining about how corrupt and selfish our political leaders are doesn’t change them but only serves to hurt you more. And therefore, by focusing on things you cannot control, Covey argues you decrease your circle of influence.

And what about the circle of influence? People in this circle long realized that if things will get better, then it is up to them to change.

Therefore, they center their focus on what they can control and influence.

If they need to up their game by being proficient in a new skill, that is where they will direct their attention.

They know that it is up to them to do what needs to be done to change the status quo.

If it is financial freedom they are looking for, they will focus their energy on watching their financial habits.

Also, they will use their power to drop negative habits for better and effective financial habits. They will embrace habits such as saving and investing.

Gratitude Score Card

Having said that, it is also important to pinpoint the fact that people have replaced the culture of gratitude has with the culture of whining and murmuring.

As much as you would want to think someone you never respect has risen the social, or economic ladder, they still have little to be grateful for.

First, because they have this big sense of entitlement. They feel whatever job they have, or current position in life isn’t worth the salt.

So, instead of appreciating who they are becoming, they focus on external factors. Furthermore, they refuse to take responsibility because they feel that is not their doing.

An employee who is not contented with his/her place of work because they feel their salary is below standard or they are being micromanaged by an insensitive boss may focus on their boss and throw tantrums on how their work is difficult because of Mr. X or factor Y.

However, they forgets the fact that he is becoming a different person. You can only become a unique person for the good or rather grow if you have the right attitude and mentality in such situations. 

That means taking responsibility for yourself and therefore make decisions that will be for your good and for your company.

What Are You Becoming?

If you choose to take responsibility for any tough situation in your life you will respond to it rather than react. By responding to it, it means you handle the matter before you with sobriety, emotional intelligence, and wisdom. On the contrary, one who chooses to react has actually refused to take responsibility and would rather correct mistakes or turn combative and prove how capable they can control a given tough situation by reacting.

In every sphere of your life, you better learn to focus on who you are becoming. For instance,

Spiritually, are you becoming more alert and finding out your true purpose and call or you are becoming more deluded.

On positivity, are you focusing more on the negatives and therefore, complaining more or you are becoming more of a positive thinker and therefore, focusing on the positives and being a ray and light of hope to those negative around you.

In your career, do you have more skills than the ones you had three years ago and the experience to warrant you the promotion you desire or you still need to cover more track?

In your relationships with people or marriage, do you have or do what you demand of your partner or it is simply taking with no giving.

On your health, Are you doing enough to stay healthy by eating the right foods, getting enough sleep, having the right thoughts and exercising properly or are you becoming lazy, reckless and obese?

In your family, are you becoming more of a responsible parent or irresponsible parent?

In all these circumstances, nothing changes until you change your way of doing things, more reason to focus on who you are becoming.

Take Responsibility

You may be tempted to think that it is your job, your spouse or your friend or your parent who makes you not be an achiever; but then, that’s your undoing because you are simply playing victim to situations you know you can control yourself and are within your circle of influence.

Nothing changes until you change.

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“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. Matthew 7:3

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