8 Statements From People Who Never Change

  1. Don’t look you might see
  2. Don’t listen you might hear
  3. Don’t think you might learn
  4. Don’t make a decision you might be wrong
  5. Don’t walk you might stumble
  6. Don’t run you might fall
  7. Don’t live you might die
  8. Don’t change you might grow

Life is about getting out of your comfort zone, taking risks and daring to sail through uncharted waters. And there! you have a self-fulfilling life!

Is the Marriage Institution Under Siege? (Part 2)

Previously in an earlier post, I talked about how the young and unmarried in society are being fed bad and negative information concerning marriage.  The end result is that the young start seeing marriage as a no-go zone but an institution riddled with infidelity, divorce, and violence.

You need to look at God’s original plan for marriage before you choose to walk down that path. 

In fact, some have argued that marriage goes against the natural instincts of man. But surely, shouldn’t there be a guiding principle about human romantic relationships?

About a week ago, I happened to attend a men’s seminar. The topic of marriage took center stage with the men spewing a tirade of complaints about their significant other not being up to the task.

Some of the complaints men mentioned included:

  • Poor hygiene; this was highly blamed on young mothers who leave the young ones to urinate on the master bed or sofa.
  • Short notice on matters that need urgent attention for example when foodstuffs in the house are depleted
  • Sharing of responsibilities in the house;  one participant narrated how a man was humiliated by his wife after she sent their son to go ask him to go prepare the evening meal. Their son presented the request to his dad while in the company of other men. It is needless to say it was so embarrassing to the man ( It was evident that in this home, there was a duty roaster for preparing meals)
  • Men also complained how their women are not quick to dress the way they want them to which forces them to satisfy their eyes on other women.

That said, you need to understand that every marriage has its own fights that can be very well managed and these are just some that were mentioned by men who attended the above-mentioned seminar.

Listening keenly to the proceedings of the said day, it was apparent to me that many factors come in to play about how issues are handled in a  marriage.

Factors that came to mind include;

  • Your spouse level of education
  • Their  relationship with God
  • Their level of maturity
  • How well spouses know each other. It is possible that two people could be living together yet do not know each other.

A few men in the seminar had also been accompanied by their wives. Being women, they were on the receiving end of the day’s discussions and could not bring themselves to merely listen but had to voice their side of things too.

Some women complained that the men always have high expectations and demand too much from them. Are they justified?

At one point, we all went back to the drawing board, the Bible, in the book of Genesis 2.20 where God dialogues about creating a suitable helper for man.

While we all agreed that woman was created as a helper and companion to man; which means man can handle virtually every responsibility in the home except for child delivery and breastfeeding a line had to be drawn between what responsibilities the man and woman should manage in the house.

However, love knows no limits and many couples are known to go beyond this cut out responsibilities in the name of love. Besides, physical complications or sickness could also rub off the line on the issue of duties.

African Traditional  Culture,  clearly differentiated responsibilities between the boy and the girl child. Boys were raised to take on roles that demanded a lot of physical energy and bravery such as digging, building, hunting and taking care of livestock.

On the other hand, the girl child was raised to be a woman of virtue and take responsibility in the home. Some of the duties they undertook included preparing meals, fetching water and firewood, cleaning among other responsibilities.

On the contrary, time is of the essence, and for a fact, we live in the modern age dispensation where you hear of the miss independents and senior bachelors. The Western culture has also taken shape so rapidly in the African setting and couples sometimes find themselves lost on how to conduct and carry themselves about in their marriage.

From the issues mentioned above, a marriage lies in the hands of the two people who made the life-changing choice of living together, and it’s only them who will find a way of navigating through the storms that will come along.

 

 

 

Is the Marriage Institution Under Siege?

 

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Image courtesy of Google

Sometime back while on a public vehicle, I happened to be seated in front of two young ladies who were having an animated conversation on a range of life issues.
Given the nature of Kenyans on PSVs,(Passenger Serving Vehicles), many were hardly talking except for pleasantries and demanding their money changes from suspicious looking touts.
Being ears reach from the two ladies, I got wind of the marriage topic they were discussing.The fact that they cast aspersions on the married and the marriage institution surprised me.
The two young ladies, fit as fiddles, averagely beautiful and potential mothers were saying that marriage does not work in the 21st century and would instead live as single women or single mothers.
We are all aware of the fact that marriage has its own ups and downs, but that should not be a justification for saying no to it mainly by single unmarried women or men.
Folklore, in a bid to inspire women to embrace the marriage institution, tells of how the 19th-century woman could withstand the challenges that arose in marriage, including her cheeks being warmed with fiery slaps but could still not pack her bags and leave😢😢.

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Image courtesy of Google

However, it appears that a lot must have changed since then. Of course, the issue of male chauvinism is also a factor to consider per se.

Not like a script to rehearse before the stage play, a simple misunderstanding, remark, or a more complicated scenario like unfaithfulness or domestic violence in marriage could throw the spanner in the works, rendering the once an oasis of joy into a desert of its former self.
Most youths have been on the forefront to castigate the marriage life, citing abuse, infidelity, and mistreatment of the spouse.Whether its something they see and hear from their married neighbors, I cannot tell for sure.

But for a fact, moral indecency and deprivation could be a significant factor affecting the marriage institution today.

In the olden days, before many of us had the chance to see the sun, stories concerning sex, one’s sexual escapades, and bedroom matters were spoken in hush tones and were considered private but not anymore.The internet, as I write this is awash with all kinds of funny and quite shameful stories about a pastor caught in the act, somebody’s wife or husband adultery ways busted, a man marrying his house help as a second wife.
If you think this is enough to change attitudes and perceptions toward marriage then you need check again.I want to believe that no one is oblivious to the fact that our radio stations are darlings to topics that center on infidelity, divorce, domestic violence resulting in the death of a spouse, homicides and you name them in a bid to win more listeners and heat up their shows.
From the foregoing, whether you choose to confirm or deny it, its quite clear that our minds are being fed with bad, negative and sad information day in day out about the marriage institution.

Unknowingly, we pick the attitudes, perceptions and the spirits of those we listen to more often that we think.

This culminates in a phobia towards the married and the marriage institution.Thanks to
technology, your Smartphone makes available all the ‘juicy’ gossip you will want to hear about a celebrity or prominent person.
As if not enough, the marriage institution has been mocked severally by wedding attendees who show up at a wedding to celebrate their friends’ wedding but talk negatively about marriage.
Worse still, the issue of a mistress, commonly referred to as ‘mpango wa kando‘ has been a much-hyped topic that it no longer looks distasteful but a way of life to the married.
I don’t know where the rains started beating us, but something has to change really fast.
Recently, while attending a brethren fellowship, the marriage topic could not escape the
speech of those present as it was clear that the men, in particular, had broken their vows (if they were made at all) in search of the other woman. This begs the question: are men natural explorers who feel tamed with one woman or is it the women who have a problem with keeping their men?
As a final thought, I believe marriage is still holy, God-ordained and still has the reverence it deserves.Therefore, going forward, the youth and the unmarried should borrow a leaf from couples who have walked the talk, lived in the test of times and still stand with their marriage vows. Are there any in the first place? Yes, I believe we still have some good souls left.
On the contrary, while it is good to listen and empathize, they should shun the advice and negative talk from those who have fallen victim or are paying a price for their wrong moves.
What do you think?

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Why the Internet is the Current Townsquare for Your Business

 nude cosmetics

Recently, while having a friendly conversation with a colleague, he shared with me about his shoe business in town. Like a salesman upbeat on meeting his sales targets, he implored upon me to stop by and leave with a pair or pairs of shoes. Not wanting to disappoint him, I made a promise to pass by.

It is said that charity begins at home; rather than start marketing your business from a market that is miles away from you, start with the market close to you. Unfortunately, I never kept my promise until later when I saw his Facebook business page.

The footwear display on his Facebook business page could not fail to catch the attention of any Facebook user. The shoes both for men and women were well arranged and displayed on the shelves and counters. From snickers, sports shoes, casual footwear; just make an order and get to have a taste of what satisfies your needs best. Check it below;

Dru Fashions

I want to assume that the owner of the business, who happens to be a person I know thought well and critically about the online space for business we have in the 21st century that he was missing out on.

Currently, a majority of the population own smartphones. Every household could be having a minimum of two Smartphones (Not statistically proven). That means that every single minute, people are busy posting on Facebook, social media and checking on their status updates.

The youth and teenagers happen to take a large share of this as they are more tech-savvy and more internet users as compared to the old in the population. On the contrary, the old too, are not to be left behind as they are turning out to be digital also.

A presenter on a local radio station joked about the social media lifestyle we live in today. That while women in the 20th century used to wake up early to prepare breakfast, the modern day woman wakes up to first turn on data on her phone and check status updates before proceeding to the kitchen. Hahaha. Hilarious.

From the aforementioned, it’s clear that there is a huge internet market that your offline business could be missing out on. A youth who happens to be skimming through Facebook will come across a product you sell. If he or she likes it, he will share it with another person who does not know about your product. In this manner, your business gets indirect referrals.

Facebook has made this easier with the introduction of Facebook ads. Many ads from local companies and businesses are displayed on Facebook daily. If you haven’t created a Facebook ad for your business yet, you need to create one sooner. You can comfortably shop from the comfort of your house on a wide range of goods ranging from clothes, shoes, utensils, health supplements, electronics, and many other items.

Also, thousands of Kenyans are doing business from the comfort of their homes. They need no money to rent a shop or pay for a business permit since internet already provides a huge open-air market for them.

To start out, work on setting a website that lists your products and services and possibly a payment button. You could seek the services of a website developer to help you out on this. Without the use of a payment button, you could still employ courier services to deliver your products or services in the event that your selling terms have been met. Jumia is very popular with this kind of arrangement.

Even without a website, Facebook and online directories like OLX will still do the trick for you.

 

Understand that for your business or SME (Small and Medium Sized Enterprises) to grow in this day and modern age, you need to embrace e-commerce.The internet is filled with billions of online consumers and it is high time you tapped into this vibrant market fast enough.

 

Are You a Recent Graduate? Consider Self-Employment

#OOTD iPhone Facebook Post

If you are a recent Kenyan graduate or through with your coursework and waiting for graduation I must congratulate you for coming this far. It not only a privilege but an honor that you can be counted among University graduates in Kenya.

It is undeniable though, that many graduates feel not so confident about their hard-earned degrees because of the skyrocketing levels of unemployment in Kenya today.  Of more concern is the fact our Universities are less focused on a learning system that encourage students to be researchers and entrepreneurs. Most of their learning systems are based on theory and lecture jargons at the expense of research-based learning that encourages students to be researchers, innovative and think out of the box.

Four years down the line, one comes out with a paper giving them the power to read and write and do what appertains to that particular BSc. or B.A degree but not so much to fit in a job marketplace. Many employers will confess that a particular candidate, though well-learned as their papers show, lack self-confidence, communicates poorly, has no career goals and cannot transform class learned material into real-life situations.

Such scenarios are not uncommon. It’s pathetic that a person with a low-level education such as Diploma but vast experience tends to have an upper hand when it comes to employment, compared to a recent graduate. This is not to say that graduates come out of college half-baked. Most employers usually look for the experience which the graduate may be lacking at that particular point in time. Unfortunately enough, the graduate is not equipped and groomed to venture into entrepreneurship. What transpires is several cases of a graduate moving from one office to the other with no possibility of finding employment.

A study reveals that it takes an average of 5 years for a graduate to get employed in Kenya. Recently,  a job posting was circulated through social media and thousands must have been on it sending applications and hoping to get considered. Interestingly, enough, the post had been send and resend all over till I also resend it to a friend who had sent it earlier to me. That clearly tells you the job desperation that recent graduates are going through right now.

Here is the job posting that was circulated via WhatsApp

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Currently, many graduates have resorted to online writing jobs as a way to cushion themselves from the biting unemployment levels. One such graduate was surprised to learn that she was a long time neighbor to another coursemate of hers who was living in the same neighborhood doing online jobs. Indeed, online writing jobs have become the order of the day as more and more unemployed youth continue to make a living through this new found oasis of online work.

Many seem to be doing well with online jobs, however, this should only be a means to an end. There is much you could still do online such as drop shipping, opening your own commercial blog or website, starting a freelance writing business or a blog on a particular niche.

According to Business Fundamentals, a book compiled by Global Text Project, if you think that you were not cut out to be an entrepreneur, you are wrong. Many were shunned and told they would amount to nothing but they went on to become very great entrepreneurs. To cut the story short, entrepreneurs are not born but made. The book mentions particular marks of an entrepreneur which sum up the mindset of an entrepreneur. These include:

  • Vision: Ability to create and communicate an easily understandable mission for what your new venture does in order to successfully launch a new business. This is accomplished while inspiring others to join you in your new enterprise.
  • Creativity: Ability to inject imagination and uniqueness into a new business venture. It takes skill and ingenuity to create a new venture equipped with strategies to outsmart the competition.
  • Focus: Able to maintain the vision of the company with unwavering diligence. It’s very easy to get sidetracked especially if you find it necessary to evolve the original vision. Ironically, we have encountered many successful entrepreneurs who get bored easily.
  • Passion: Desiring to succeed under your own steam [initiative] on a business venture.
  • Drive: Possessing intrinsic energy to accomplish the business goal even in the face of adversity.
  • Perseverance: Able to keep going even when faced with seemingly insurmountable obstacles.
  • Opportunistic Nature sees the possibilities even before they exist. Can take advantage of an upcoming trend or unite unrelated processes to create a unique business venture.
  • Problem Solving Ability: Thrives on coming up with solutions to complex challenges.
  • Self-discipline: Able to be organized and regimented in pursuit of a successful business venture.
  • Frugality: Knows how to stretch every cent so that expenditures are as low as possible.
  • Empathy: Able to put yourself in another’s shoes and therefore able to show sensitivity and understanding of what others are communicating in the startup environment.
  • Social Responsibility: Ethics, caring, and humanitarianism are characteristics that are commonly found in today’s entrepreneurs.
  • Spirituality: We have found that successful entrepreneurs have often devoted time to spirituality development. Meditation and positive affirmations are two common examples of spirituality.
  • Good Timing: Able to identify a market opportunity and know when it’s the optimum time to launch a new venture or expansion of an existing enterprise.

You are the only limit to what you can do. Sheryl Sandberg says it all in her quote that we hold ourselves back in ways both big and small, by lacking self-confidence, by not raising our hands, and by pulling back when we should be leaning in.

With the current employment status in Kenya, Kenya needs visionary entrepreneurs who will rise up to the occasion and begins startups and ventures that will transform Kenya’s economic landscape thereby creating more jobs and making life economically better for Kenyans.