According to psychology, human beings have a way of defending themselves against negative or bad feelings. Some choose to live in denial, others will use projection while others will choose to be irrational. Still, others will use misplaced aggression to feel better about themselves.
For sure, nobody under the sun is immune to life problems and challenges that keep recurring. I need not tell you that they are never going to stop anytime sooner. While you may want to know everything that happens, sometimes you are better off not knowing everything. It is not only about better and sweet but sometimes bitter sometimes sweet. Have you ever tried picturing your life without challenges?
Challenges are Necessary
Visualize yourself waking up one morning to an already set breakfast table. And you do not need to work because the government is providing everything for you. Yours is to eat, sleep, play and watch TV. Besides, the government is footing all your bills including your leisurely activities. Now picture yourself living this kind of life for a year. Where is the sense of accomplishment or achievement? What can you look about your life and feel proud of yourself? I would say nothing.
Life is full of both positives and negatives in equal measure. When we encounter positives, we live life to the fullest and celebrate over and over, however, when negatives hit us, many of us do not have the mental stamina to withstand the pressure.
Overcoming the Negatives
Therefore, one important skill that will do you well in life is to have a mindset that will shock absorb the many storms you will need to wither in life.
For instance, one of the common negativities we experience in our daily lives are insults, mockery and bad news from the people around us. Interestingly, the people throwing the negatives at you, in most cases are hurting too and they will project their frustrations on you. He or she could be in a bad relationship and will want to paint a picture of you being the cause of his or her relationship problems. At one time I sat close to a lady who remarked that all men are dogs! Probably, she was hurting from a relationship that turned sour. But you will be surprised to learn that few months down the line she got into a relationship with a man. Some men have also called women demons but still, live with them under one roof.
You need not react on such situations whatsoever but respond. When reacting you will use more of your emotions and are likely to cause yourself and the other person more harm, however, when you respond, you respond with reason and an objective disposition, therefore, calming down the situation.
Furthermore, many people use misplaced aggression as a technique to feel better or recover from their bad feelings. For example, Samantha gets quarreled by her mother for waking up late and therefore getting late to school. Well, Samantha does not react or respond to her mother but when she gets to school she vents her anger and pain on her desk mate and other schoolmates. Did her schoolmates really deserve the treatment? No! But Samantha is feeling better now.
If you approach the above-mentioned incidence, with this knowledge in mind, you will realize that there is no point of fighting fire with fire but be objective and understand the other person’s disposition, in this case, Samantha.
You Have the Power
Lucia had badly hurt her close friend Eunice with terrible insults about her body. As result, Eunice was deeply wounded and was sobbing uncontrollably. Well, if you have been on the receiving end of any kind of negative words, you know it is not easy to swallow such words. Such words could come from the person you call your best friend, your boss, your spouse, colleague or parent. However, we have the willpower in us to choose how we want to feel about the situation. My best shot is, rather than shut up and brood later over the negatives thrown at you, counter such negative attacks with positives.
I remember at one point, I was enjoying some good music and singing the song as it played along. But it turned out that my neighbor was not very comfortable with my voice and so he remarked that I should shut up because my voice is hoarse and terrible. Well, I responded immediately on a lighter note and told him “You are wrong! That was a sweet angelic voice you were listening to” We all burst out laughing. Funny enough is the fact that I was able to neutralize the tense situation as fast as it came.
As the proverbial quote goes, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”
Have a positive day.