How to Appreciate and Value Yourself in Life


“Just stop it!” she ranted ” What you are doing to me is not right at all?”

This were the complaints of Mrs. Akombi after her husband arrived home at 3a.m in the company of two expensive call girls from a pub in town.

“Why do you even care? You fool!” Mr. Akombi barked.

This was an affluent couple that everyone in the neighborhood talked about. From a fleet of vehicles to high-end properties in town, nothing could hide their immense wealth.

On the contrary, their marriage was on the rocks.

Ivan, their firstborn son, was studying Mechanical Engineering at Pennsylvania State University. Their daughter, the last child in the home was studying medicine at a Russian university in Moscow.

Despite their shambolic marriage, the Akombis had everything you could desire in life.

Money to them was not a problem. What with the frequent flights to Zanzibar over the weekends.

So, here is a couple that everyone wants to be like but unfortunately to many people, that is not just how life works.

Have you ever wondered why the shortest or tiny people have the loudest voices? I stopped wondering the moment I realized nature has a way of striking a perfect balance amongst the living.

No wonder camels are meant for a drought, scarce environment, unlike buffaloes that will start collapsing in a couple of weeks in the same environment.

Below are six amazing ways you can employ to learn how to appreciate and value yourself in life. Read on.

  1. Learn to See the Good in You

You are hurting yourself very badly by only seeing the good in other people. The fact of the matter is that you are only seeing the good in other people because that is what they have allowed you to see but they will not tell you about their broken relationships, bad habits, chronic diseases, physically disabled relatives.

Therefore, in actual sense, you are doing yourself a great disservice by not appreciating the good in you and only seeing the good in other people.

2. Count Your Blessings

It is unfortunate that most of us just do not know how to count our blessings.

We have the skewed mentality that blessings are only the mega lifestyles we see around us. Nothing could be further from the truth.  The posh car, bungalow, or career accomplishments could be someone else’s blessings but not everyone can count them as blessings by the fact that everyone is on a different path in life. You understand what I mean. Right?

By you learning to acknowledge the little things you have in life you set yourself up for bigger things in future. It means that even when the fat cheques start coming in you will still be content even when your neighbor on the south is building a three-storied bungalow that is already dwarfing your mansion.

You will still be able to count your friends, lovely family, health and peace when all you have is gone in the face of adversity.

3. See the Problems in Other People

I have not told you to stalk, pry or dig up on someone’s life like paparazzi. I find it interesting when you can only see the problems in you and only the good in others. How about seeing their problem too. Well, this is not to say that your problems will soon be gone but it will make you realize that life is not a destination but a journey and whatever challenges you are going through right now; be it financial, social, health wise someone already went through the harrowing experiences before.

To crown it, the discovery that he or she overcame the challenge will pump into you the energy to soldier on regardless of the pain or affliction.

4. Stop Taking Life Too Serious

“I must be rich by 25,” Jack chirped. Well, but what if by 25 Jack is not even a toe and shoulder close to riches? Is he going to kill himself?

The important thing to put in mind here is that plans may change because of other factors beyond our control like let us say a chronically ill loved one consuming high hospital bills, but the goal does not change only the period. Yes, maybe Jack’s goal was a SMART goal but who said other factors might not come in that may affect the specific time set.

In any given challenge, endeavor or task, despite the failure appreciate the fact that you tried and though you failed, you are in a better position to do better than the one who has never undergone the challenge before.

5. Find Joy in Voluntary Service

I am made to understand that one of the great habits in successful people is their penchant to offer themselves freely in terms of humble service, charity, philanthropy and so forth. In spite of their busy schedule, they will set aside time to give themselves out. I am not saying you should be rich to volunteer.

Start right now. Visit your church maybe over the weekend and help with cleaning or weeding flower gardens. Do shopping for a sickly, old neighbor who happens to be a widow too. It is said that some have given their way to riches. Take part in across the country race to raise money for the hunger-stricken. Fix that tire burst for the woman driver you found stranded in town.

Volunteering will give you the confidence and attitude of a problem solver, such that you will not be viewing life from a problematic perspective but you will be solution oriented. Rather, you will handle life like one handling a knife by the handle and not the blade.

6. Do Something Extraordinary for Yourself

A preacher ministering to his congregation told them, “Some of you are too uptight and always sad with your lives that you find it weird when you catch yourself smiling.” Hahah, “in fact, when you catch yourself smiling you cut yourself short and ask did I just smile?”

It is funny or rather pathetic that to some of us, life has been too hard that we find smiling to be like an abomination. Sorry if that is how far this life has brought you. It is a journey so do not despair yet. You will remember this when you reach the peak of it.

I hope you are not one of them. I used to wonder why the poor or rather the have-nots look jovial, can afford a 9pm to 7am sleep and are so confident of themselves. On the contrary, a millionaire in town is hardly sleeping, always chasing bigger goals than the previous, pensive most of the time and always flaring up at his/her employees

Is that really what a happy, appreciated and fulfilled life should be lived like?

Of course not.

You need to start appreciating your very sense of being alive and well by doing something extraordinary for yourself. This could be traveling to your dream destination, go camping or hiking with a buddy, treat yourself to a sumptuous meal in a fancy restaurant in town, visit interesting places such as the Maasai Mara.

If you have ever longed for a happy and fulfilling life start it from here at no cost at all. You just need a paradigm shift in your mindset, willingness to embrace change and a determination to appreciate life and hooray! You will be on your way to the most jovial person people have ever known.

Meet Lee Mchanaji-A Spoken Word Artist

[wpvideo syRLklb1]

Just like you or someone else, out there I never knew about the Spoken Word til I met a rising talent in Lee. Of course, you cannot know every damn thing in this world. Henry Ford, founder of the Ford Motor Company and industrialist even in death, is best remembered for revolutionizing the Motor vehicle industry in America.

Despite all credit going to him, historical sources indicate that some of his inventions like the Ford Assembly belts were a concept built and developed by some of his employees.

Sorry, I am not here to talk about Henry Ford but Lee Mchanaji’s artistic prowess through the spoken word.

You need to first understand that the spoken word is an oral art that is written but performed before an audience. In other words, it is poetry intended for an onstage rendition rather than a page set up.

To Lee, there is no other passion or vigor that I know about him other than the Spoken Word.

Listening to this Spoken word video by Lee has not only arisen my deepest and core emotions for my country Kenya but has bonded me more to her. He has made me realize my role as a youth in moving Kenya, my country, forward. That as a youth in this great nation of Kenya, I will not allow myself to be used for selfish gains by a political leader whether he is ethnically related to me or a brother from another mother.

Lee highlights Kenya as a man eat man society, where politicians only use power as a tool to rip, exploit, divide and rule the masses. Indeed, we have a president in the name of Uhuru, whose name actually serves to remind us of the freedom that the founding fathers of the Kenyan nation fought for.

Unfortunately, for us, black colonial masters took over the white. You need to look at tribalism that has cut asunder the national fabric of unity and cohesion in our great nation. Let me not talk about Post Election Violence just yet.

What about the inequitable distribution of resources and historical land injustices mentioned by the TJRC report?  A report facilitated by Kibaki’s administration only to be buried under the current regime.

Lee explains it better.

You can also watch the video right here and see it for yourself.

Kenyans want change!

Kenyans want a better future for their kids including you and me.

The time is ripe people!

Whatever your capacity or area of jurisdiction discover the leader in you and be that agent of change.

Change for yourself! Change for your kids! Change for your country!


You can support Lee by subscribing to his youtube channel through the above-given links.


To be continued……

No One Can Define You But Yourself

The author with colleagues at a workstation.

Hey you, hope this post finds you well. We are in tough times as a country and it will be kind of you to check on your neighbor just to know how safe he or she is.

To our fallen brothers and sisters in different parts of the country, more so, Luo Nyanza, may God rest their souls in peace. One socialite was quoted to suggest that “msiba wa kujitakia hauna kilio” , but I choose to disagree in the strongest terms possible.

Our dear brothers and sisters chose to exercise their constitutional right to picket and demonstrate but rogue police officers caught up with them and mercilessly took their lives by the bullet.

There are two important questions  I need you to ask yourself today.

  1. How are you shaping the definition of your country as a citizen of Kenya? And
  2. What defines your person?

Too many of us hardly care the shit about what defines us as persons. We are busy shaping and defining our acquaintances, neighbors and friends but we hardly have the time to define ourselves.

We have left that job to our parents, pastors, employers, friends and village elders.

I am here to tell you that no one should define you but yourself. Honestly, were you blatantly convinced that you are stupid and cannot make it to law school or whatever career of your choice? Save me the bullshit.

Seriously? You were told you are not good in business and you chose to buy that? A beautiful you, fearfully and wonderfully made chose to take that in? Save me the crap.

You were told you are not dateable and you believed it? Really? A whole you?

Just before we continue I need you to affirm these positive affirmations firmly, loudly and with a conviction of St. Paul. Better make things right now than clock 40 with regrets about your youth.

  1. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
  2. What man can do, I can do better.
  3. He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world.
  4. I can because I can.
  5. Wealth, health and long life are my portions because God has a purpose for me on this earth.
  6. The Lord is my protector and there is nothing evil that man can do to me in deed and word.

Thank you for being a good student, assuming you followed the above instructions.

I don’t know about you friend, but for me, I chose to define myself rather than be defined.

This is so because who would really purport to know me better than myself. I know how I hate crowds and like to lock myself in a closet!  Not literally haha. Simply put, I know what you do not know about me, so don’t you try to exercise your behavior reading skills on me.

A young man was teased that he is mentally challenged to pursue science subjects in his third form at high school and he fell for it. Sad.

How many of us have fallen to this mediocre, energy-sapping words that demean us only to rediscover ourselves later?

I want you to stand up with me today, champion, and let’s say no to every self-limiting definitions that have been implanted in our lives by the very people who were meant to love, inspire and protect us against any self-limiting beliefs and definitions at a tender age.

No point of getting bitter about them maybe they were as naive as you were about their actions.

You can get remorseful too, I understand, it’s because you broke a soul out there and shattered a dream with your loud mouth and now you have to admit it. “Urrghhh!!  a wretched me”, you say.

Here is what I’m saying, friend.

Nobody can define you but you.

The Merriam Webster definition of define is to determine or identify the essential qualities or meaning of something or somebody e.g whatever defines us as human.

We need to start defining ourselves guys. I need you for a moment to switch off your mind from what your mama, wife, girlfriend, husband, pastor or special other said about you and pick that pen and paper right now. Yes, right now. ” Ooh! am in the heck of nowhere, how do you expect me to pick a pen and paper?”,you ask.

Well, take out your Infinix or whatever smartphone you have and let’s start doing some cracking task here.

Looks simple, stupid and easy right? But no no nooo!!!!! Don’t you dare go that direction because actually, some people have never really defined themselves since they were born.

All they know is that their BFF told them they are strong. Haha, maybe you were being flattered boy!

It is interesting to note that some people have never really defined their person. I mean, who are you? What do you stand for? What are your values or core values? What about your personality? What are your strengths? What about your weaknesses or you have none? I don’t think so. Pastors have weaknesses too but God has used them to touch and bless lives. No point of leaving in denial. Admit it buddy!

What is more baffling is the fact that some have chosen to define themselves by their job positions or profession and that is where it stops. I have no qualms about society calling you by your job title. Dr. Masiafu! feels great right?

But you need to take a break and define who you really are friend.  Some have found themselves in awkward positions or rather caught off guard by interview questions that touch on their persona. Who told you only technical questions are asked during interviews?

Using a pen and paper or whatever smart gadget at your disposal, create columns with the above-given entries and write yourself down.

I just started.

Define yourself to be a better you.

Be You

Let me know your comments in the comments section below. Simply log in to or open an account at and you will be good to go.

Thanks for stopping by.


7 Top Factors to Consider When Choosing a Place to live


Hey there, whether you are a student in college, a newlywed couple or new in town, I guess at one point in life you have been among the people looking for a conducive place to live. After all, when all is said and done, every single one of us usually wants to retreat to a cozy place called home.

Finding a conducive place to live can be an uphill task, more so, when you do not know what factors to consider in choosing the right place to call your home. Allow me to help you break down the factors bit by bit that will put you in a better position to make informed decisions.

To many people that I have talked to, top on the list of their concerns, when choosing a home to live is usually security. Everyone wants to feel safe on the inside and outside and therefore, how safe one feels must be taken care of.

Avoid rentals and flats with no fence (live or wall) and a gate. These are tale-tell signs of a not so safe place where everyone comes and goes. Look for a place that is well fenced with a strong gate that controls the movement of people in and out of the compound. Gates and fences serve to scare away potential burglars and petty thieves who may be up to something fishy.

Depending on your main economic activity during the day, the choice of town you choose to make a home is also important. This is because statistics on crime rate vary in different towns. While some towns may have zero to a small percentage of crime, a few of them could be crime hubs. The company I work for recently shifted its operations to Kakamega town. With such changes in location, it was expected that the company would alert its employees of any new developments.

It is needless to say that security topped the list of their alerts. Kakamega has a higher crime rate as compared to its neighboring town Bungoma.  Therefore, as one looking for the right place to make a home, choose on a town or urban area that your security is guaranteed or something close to that. You do not want to be woken up in the middle of the night with some noises in the kitchen only to find a human hand trying to pick dinner leftovers. Worse still, arriving in an empty home that was once packed with furniture and high-end electronic gadgets.

Secondly, as one looking for a place to live, social amenities such as hospitals, schools, churches and clean drinking water are important to consider. Some flats and rentals go for a long period without water let alone clean drinking water. Such dry spells greatly inconvenience tenants who have to fetch water from far areas. Apartments with tapped water are good but better if supplemented with borehole water in the event of a shortage.

On the other hand, couples with school going children must check on the availability of schools in the place they would want to live. This is important as some areas may not have schools nearby which will force you to either consider taking your children to a boarding school or your kids walking or riding to school over long distances.

A nearby health facility will serve you best than walking or traveling long distances for health services. Death may rob you of a loved one in the event that he or she is suffering from a chronic disease that may require immediate medical attention by a doctor.

How about shopping?  Does your ideal place of residence allow you to shop with ease due to its proximity or you have to wipe a sweat to get to the nearest shopping center? It is sometimes baffling; especially in the rural areas to find out that for one to mill maize, he has to walk more than 5 kilometers to get to a posho mill.

Choosing a place to live should be based on how easier shopping for household items will be to you. A five to twenty-minute ride is better than an hour ride to the market. This will save you a lot of trouble with kitchen stuff.

We usually encounter awkward occurrences sometimes when during cooking you realize a particularly important ingredient is missing. This will definitely force you to rush back to the market. Woe unto you if the market or place to shop is miles away from you. A bad day for you if you have visitors waiting to be served.

In the past, tenants have complained of stinking sewers in their apartments that erode them the joy of eating their deliciously cooked meals. Such incidences usually arise from faulty or blocked sewers that fail to discharge waste matter. A properly built drainage system is a factor to consider when choosing a place to live.

You could do some basic research from tenants already living in the apartments you want to move in to, just to find out whether the drainage system is properly functioning or are you going to wake up in the wee hours of the night to go for a long call simply because there is a blockage with the toilet flushing system and your taps have run dry.

Save yourself the trouble by ensuring that you pick on an apartment that has a good drainage system on the inside and outside. It will not be super to pay good money for a flat that rainwater seeps through the front door during heavy rains.

Recently, I passed by a storied rental apartment and there were an array of clothes spread on the lines for sun drying. When choosing a place to live, have the idea of an outdoor space in mind. Some flats are built facing each other with narrow spacing about 30 meters in between.

This outrightly denies you your privacy and more so, could be a recipe for chaos over petty cases with your idle and prying neighbors. Outdoor spacing is not only important for sun drying your pieces of wet clothing but also gives you space to sunbathe and relax in the environment outside your house.

Outdoor spacing can also be important for family playtime and hosting other functions that may require many people. Besides, tenants with vehicles will also have ample parking space for their fuel guzzling machines.

We have two ears to hear, listen and understand the message being communicated unto us. However, it comes to a point where what you hear and what you need to listen to becomes mixed up, therefore, resulting in noise.

You will realize it is a bad idea renting an apartment near a marketplace with blaring music and noises from traders. Adding insult to injury, a pub nearby plays loud music often, until 5 am in the morning. If you are not a Muslim, there is again no point of living near a mosque if you do not want to be woken up at 5 am every morning because of loud prayers coming from a mosque nearby.

When choosing a place to live, ensure that you go for a quiet neighborhood. A quiet neighborhood will save you sleepless nights resulting from your 5 months old kid waking up often at night because of disturbing noise. Moreover, a quiet neighborhood will allow you to enjoy the comforts in your own home, for example, listening to music from your home theatre, study time or any other indoor activity that may require a quiet environment.

Today, the internet has been branded the next town square.Apparently, this is true given the social media hype we experience today. Kenyans and the world over have never been connected to the internet like now before.

It is true that friendships, jobs, businesses have now shifted to online platforms. It is against this background that you would want to consider choosing a place to live that is well connected to the internet.

It will be worse for you to settle in your new home only to realize that your internet connection is not even 2G phew!!, you will only have yourself to blame.

There are many other factors that one could still consider in choosing a place to live. I have mentioned but just a few basic factors that can serve as a guide to a new home seeker.

A safe and secure environment coupled with rich social amenities, less noise, an outdoor spacing, proper drainage system and a nearby shopping center could be the ideal home for you at the very least. Do not forget about a good internet connection that will save you the time, money and energy of visiting a cyber.

Until later guys!







How to Prepare For a Job Interview


You just received a call from a prospective employer that you have been shortlisted and therefore scheduled for a job interview. As is expected, mixed feelings of excitement and anxiety get into you as you ponder on the next step of action. Here are a few successful tips that might just give you the job you have been longing for.

Tip 1#: Do a thorough Scrutiny of the Company’s Website

Doing research about the company will give you a mouthful of information about the company’s history, location, its current management, production trends and its competitive advantage. Having such vital information will help identify the gaps in the company besides preparing you with a list of questions that you might want to ask your prospective employer. Quality questions from interview candidates usually score them highly against other candidates who never ask questions.

Tip 2#: Evaluate your Skills against the Job Requirements Needed

Now that you have been shortlisted for an interview, you might want to ignore this important tip. However, before you even think about it, understand that marching your skills against the job requirements will put you in a better position to explain why you are the best option for the company in that particular position. Your skills need not to appear on the job requirements list word by word for you to secure the job. Of more essence is the fact that your skill base will allow you to handle the position before you sufficiently.

Tip 3#: Check your Body Language

Your body language speaks volume even without your tongue. When preparing for an interview, ensure you have enough rest the night before to avoid dangerous yawns in front of the panel members. More so, make sure you eat enough breakfast to hold you up for the day in the event of a face-to-face interview that may well extend into the afternoon.

If you love, your bottle of whiskey better is safe than sorry. Avoid it at all cost on the day before and the interview day.

This will make you fresh of mind, sober and a clear thinker during the interview. Project a confident body language by maintaining eye contact and giving a firm handshake while smiling to your panel members. Lastly, during the interview, sit straight on the chair without slouching or leaning on the table.

Tip 4#: Prepare and Have the Right Outfit for the Interview with you

Most interview outfits are formal with black, brown, blue or white colors. For men, a suit or a well-ironed shirt and trouser with well-polished black shoes will do. Ladies can dress in suits too or official trousers. Still, a decent solid color skirt and blouse will do. Ladies should avoid too much jewelry and makeup that might create unnecessary attention during the interview. Avoid seductive dressing at all cost as this might work against you by portraying you as a disrespectful person to the panelists and the occasion at hand.

Tip 5#:  Rehearse Interview Questions and Answers with a Friend

Overconfidence can be dangerous. You are a perfect match to the job requirements, you know more about the company like the back of your hand and you feel you have what it takes to get the job. However, rehearsing for the job interview could just be the thin line that will make a difference between you and the other qualified candidate. Rehearsing for an interview helps you find answers to common interview questions asked. It will also help you relate your previous work experiences with the job you are trying to win. More importantly, it will help you listen to your own voice thus giving you more confidence.

Tip 6#: Carry Essentials

Like a lawyer carrying documented evidence to court against the defendant, a candidate for an interview also needs to carry with him documents that will prove his or her skills are what they say. Your academic and professional certificates, testimonials and other crucial documents cannot afford to miss in your briefcase or handbag. Remember also to carry a notebook and a pen; you might want to use it to write down important points during the interview. A bottle of water to prevent dry coughs and thirst is also important.

Job interviews usually come and go. Some last for a day and some may take more than one day. The most important thing to remember is that as an individual you have what it takes to pass that particular interview. By the fact that you were shortlisted means that you had a lot of potentials that the other candidates did not have. As such, as a candidate, always maintain the image you project in your application documents, follow the rules, be a good student of life and there! You have your job.




6 Super-effective Ways of Killing Boredom




A friend once wondered that you could be in a room full of people partying with loud music blaring yet feel so bored. Boredom in people can occur in many ways. Even the most jovial individual that you know of occasionally feels bored. Boredom is simply a state of feeling bored. It could occur because of idleness or sheer lack of interest in a particular activity. For you to be able to kill boredom real quick, here is what you should do.

  1. Learn to Enjoy your Own Company

Human beings are social creatures by nature and therefore, as expected will gravitate towards their own kind. However, many make the mistake of sacrificing their own time for unnecessary cliques and gangs. It is interesting to note that some individuals hardly enjoy their own company. They would rather listen to music streaming from a sound system in their friend’s house than sit on their own and listen to the same sound system. It is not about being socially shy but rather cultivating the habit of loving your own space and time. Your own time gives you the opportunity to reflect, meditate, and know more about yourself. If you really learn to love your own company, boredom will be outdated.

  1. Volunteer

For you to be a good volunteer, the word selfish should not be mentioned or be associated with you. Volunteering requires that you offer yourself freely the Jesus style in any given task that you see fit to undertake. Rather than sit bored in a company having a conversation you do not seem to enjoy or follow, you could opt to visit a children’s home and play hide and seek with the kids.  Alternatively, you could do mission work as a Christian and reach out in sharing God’s word and other personal items. Volunteering builds your self-esteem and gives you a feeling of confidence and satisfaction, which serves to make you a better person.

It is interesting to note that some individuals hardly enjoy their own company. They would rather listen to music streaming from a sound system in their friend’s house than sit on their own and listen to the same sound system.

  1. Tour your Hometown

It is amazing that a stranger could visit your hometown, make, and pass by every nook and cranny yet you, the town mayor by default have no idea where the bus station office is located. You could become a local tourist for a day or two and enjoy the taste and feel of the restaurants, recreation parks and resorts within your area instead of listening to strangers talking of services in your hometown you have no idea about. Touring your hometown will not clear your bank account with good financial planning. Just remember to spend wisely and live within your means.

  1. Run through the Family Album

You walk into someone’s home and find 3-4 photographic albums neatly arranged on the shelf or wherever you keep yours. Funny enough, these family albums serve more as decorations and interior designer materials in most homes. On the contrary, they should serve as memories for our great and great-grandchildren to appreciate life and see how far their grandparents have come in terms of their social-economic life. Unfortunately, many of us are deluded by the fact that we have smartphones that can take and backup quality digital photos. How your children will be able to access those photos leaves more questions than answers. Conversely, they will never replace the touch, feel and memories that our traditional photo albums bring. Therefore, for you to break that boredom, why not take a seat right now and run through your family photographic album.

  1. Watch Funny Videos

Do you want to subjugate the mountain of stress prevailing in your mind? Well, you could try watching a funny video. Funny videos aside from killing stress can relieve you of life sucking boredom and idleness. Have a collection of them on your PC or laptop and occasionally go through them whenever you feel bored. They will definitely energize you, lift your spirits and kill your boredom.

  1. Read for Leisure

Get the latest piece of your favorite newspaper and read it like no man’s business. Be it visiting your online or offline book club, your action counts in relieving you of idleness that is a recipe for boredom.Incidentally, stress and boredom go hand in hand and research in the past has proven that reading for leisure reduces your level of stress by a significant percentage.

Indeed, boredom is among many of the bad human emotions that no one wants to feel. As such, it is important that people engage in fulfilling activities that erode every layer of boredom in them. Engaging yourself in a number of constructive activities such as the ones listed is practically helpful in killing boredom.  You do not have to try all of them at once, but pick the ones that suit you best and you will be on your way to a boring-free life.

Add any other way to kill boredom in the comments section below.

Till next time champion!!




It is Okay to Suck and Embarrass Yourself


Hello guys!

Being a Sunday, I thought it wise to mention this topic to you, why not?

Sunday is the day most people are off from their demanding week day jobs. It is also a day when the faithful have a  chance to worship God and visit one another. More so, some take this time to spend on outings with their loved ones and family.

Indeed, Sunday is a day that comes and is soon gone, however, one can have every fulfilling moment of it.

And so today I have been reflecting on personal growth, self-improvement and today’s sermon about –The Serpent.

If my memory serves me right, I have read very many self-help books and blogs on different topics such as saving, dating and relationships, spirituality and making wealth. On the contrary, my life has changed to a certain degree but not to the level mention in the given blogs and books.

Interestingly, many self-help books and blogs including the one I’m writing on encourage people to be a better version of themselves, be happy, seek after success, break bad habits, be assertive, make money and so forth.

However, today I want to center this discussion on a different perception of life. As much as everyone may want to drive the latest machine in town and carry that sleek sizable smartphone, not all these are a sure guarantee in giving you the happiness you really long for.

On the contrary, I think it is healthy and okay for one to feel low, sad, dejected and miserable once in a while.  It is quite unfortunate that in the 21st-century world of social media and a booming self-help industry, bloggers and writers have perfected the skill of giving people unsolicited advice on how to do this and that.  This may partly work in your life or it may simply have no impact on your life at all.

Furthermore, people have perfected the art of feeling good, being happy and living life to the fullest on social media when in fact,  their true selves are struggling with bills and a myriad of other life issues.

Social media has helped much in boosting the self-help industry song because people would like to show off their success, new shoes, the new smartphone they never heard before or the baby they recently gave birth to.

In contrast, such online  photos only reflect a part of their life story at that paticular moment and it does not necessarily mean the individual in question is always happy.

Self-help writers tell  us never to be sad but always happy, how not to suck and embarass ourselves, how to stop overspending and saving, how to win our Ex-girlfriends and boys back.

On the contrary, I think it would be good for one to live life in moderation without being too hard on themselves with self-help sermons. True change in an  individual usually comes from within and I believe outside sources only serve to catalyze their resolve for change.

In living life to the full, you will trumble and be trumbled upon, laugh  and be laughed at. At times in life we embarass ourselves so badly and the thought of such like incidences only make us more embarrased.

To recap an incidence I once embarrased myself, I am the discipline polite, young man who means no harm to none. And so during one time in college, the lecturer wanting to use students as teaching aid to make the concept of the Human DNA sink deeper summoned three students to the front including myself.

Given a choice, I would be the first one to refuse such a proposition by the lecturer but he would have heard none of that. It so happened that the jeans trouser I had worn that day was a little bit tight on me. This served to create an unusual contour in my fly area.

The front of the class was a little bit raised like a podium and so the 1000-packed classroom could visibly see the front.

Unfortunately for me, the class clown had already spotted an opportunity to break the ice and off he went. Amidst the demonstrations and lecture by the professor, he shouted a funny remark in slang to suggest that I had just had an erection.

The lecturer not wanting to be left out of the moment highlights simply chipped in and made a repitition of the clown’s remarks on a lighter knot which send the class into a mad frenzy of laughter, shouting and ululations. Girls pinched the boys and got  a subject to talk about.

To save myself the embarassment, I joined  the class in the laughter and laughed at myself too. Eventually , the noise dissipated and sooner  the lecture came to its end. The incidence was fast forgotten as it came.

This is exactly how life works. Always shifting between lemons and lemonades periodically. There is always no a continouos state of bliss as self-help books may want to put it or make us believe but a series of ups and lows, the hero and the loser you, in one day you could be a jack-of-all trades and the next day turn out to be a good for nothing bloody vampire.

Therefore, the trick here is to stop being the perfectionist. Stop always having a high expectation of you in everything you do because you can obviously never achieve that. Reserve such expectations for Hollywood movie stars who are made to appear superhuman and perfect in body-shape, movements, speech and everything they do. Once in a while show love and appreciation for the miserable and loser you. Learn to accomodate the sad and bored you by acknowledging that the most jovial and talkative person, once in a while shuts down completly.

Next time you suck or embarass yourself, simply remember that for life to be complete, you need to have  a test of both lemons and lemonades. No movie stars here.

Is there a day you embarrassed yourself and felt the loser for it? Let me know through the comments section below.

Have a fruitful week.