7 Reasons Why Money Has Never Come And How to Fix It

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Hello people, first, I must say thank you for your continued love and support towards this blog. It is never easy remaining consistent by writing posts often. However, your likes, comments, and followership have kept me going. Cheers! To every single one of you for being a lovely online family.

Yesterday morning, I uploaded a video on my facebook page about a robot by the name Sofia. Sofia is a robot that can partially perform the functions of a human being. In the video, Sofia is seen smiling and answering questions from a top journalist albeit some awkward moments.

In case you missed the video here is the link  https://www.inc.com/will-yakowicz/sofia-robot-hanson-robotics-web-summit.html

Two centuries ago, landlines were unheard of in our lives, let alone mobile phones. To add insult to injury, if you happened to insinuate on a machine that could fly, you could be met with the most bizarre astonishment.

Yet here today, we are talking about the world of artificial intelligence. Artificial intelligence is simply intelligence derived from machines and things that have no life in them. In contrast, natural intelligence is the intelligence found in humans like you and me and some animals.

Such breath-taking inventions never fell down from heaven, they simply began as an idea by somebody who was passionate, determined and focused to make the world a better place.

Sitting in my study, I sought to demystify why one part of the world can have so great inventions with super-rich entrepreneurs while some parts of the world are the exact opposite. Despite there being a number of factors to consider, to me, it all boils down to you as an individual. Who are you and what do you stand for?

Greatness or Mediocrity

Therefore, in a bid to find out why to some people being rich is impossible, and will never happen, I came up with eight points why money has never come your way and how to fix it.

Reason #1: You Hate and Envy the Rich

You all know the statement,”Your network is your net worth”

Lewis Brown, a motivational speaker, said that we are a product of the people we keep close. This he said is possible by the fact that as you walk with them, you subconsciously pick their mannerisms, perceptions, and habits.

I understand Kenya is a country where the gap between the rich and the poor is very wide and continues to widen. In Kenya, corruption is still rife as witnessed in the previous and current regimes. The select few who manage to be part of the system always walke home as instant millionaires.

It is against this background that you may want to hate and envy your rich neighbor. Simply because the rich neighbor flaunts wealth you have no idea where it came from.

However, hating and envying the rich only serves to keep this high net worth individuals away from you. Down the streets or in the villages, the rich are talked of with  envy and admiration in equal measure.  Some look at them as thieves who stole billions of money from the companies they worked for before. Some are said to be in secret societies like the Illuminati and Freemasons. Whatever the opinion you may have about the rich keep it to yourself but the fact remains that they are rich and you do not attract money and wealth into your life by envying, hating, and talking ill of the rich.

Reason #2:  To You, Money is the Root of all Evil

You recently won ksh160, 000 via a Sports betting site. Quite a lot of money with no sweat, right? Well, the truth is always plain and simple- easy come easy go. You will go celebrating and telling every Tom, Dick and Harry about your luck. Unfortunately for you, your eager friends will be more than ready to eat your newfound fortune with you.

Given that you went round showing off to your friends and acquaintances, many will come with a plethora of suggestions on how to do this and that. Ask Abisai about the many suggestions he got on Facebook. All of a sudden, everybody is your adviser. To take the shorter route, the money simply did not add up to give you something tangible. Subsequently, you rant and curse about  money being  evil. It never is because it simply picks the character of the beholder.

In 1 Timothy 4:16, the bible mentions the love of money as the root of all evil. I understand this to mean that your love for money is the root cause of your troubles and not money in itself. You therefore should desist from demonizing money and treasure it as a value worth having.

Reason #3: You Are a Jack-Of-All-Trades

One columnist, on money magazine, once shared tips on risk taking. He asserted that people do not just take risks but calculated risks. By this, he meant to say that great entrepreneurs assess the benefits and production costs or rather the advantages and the disadvantages of a particular project before putting their money or energy into it.

In their assessment, if the disadvantages far outweigh the advantages that is a no go zone. However, if the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages, then it becomes a project to consider. You do not make money by being a jack-of-all-trades and master of none.  Simply identify your passion, a place you can add value and get the ball going. Where is your focus? Where do you direct your energy?

Bill Gates, the tech. mogul behind Microsoft Corporation, was one of its co-founders in the year 1975. Back then he, ate drank, sang and slept dreaming about Microsoft. He identified his passion and area of value addition and set the pace right away, revolutionizing the computer world. It is only in the recent past, after having made so much money that he chose to diversify his investments.

First by philanthropy through the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. Bill also has investments in Republic services, waste management company, Eco-lab (ECL) a company that produces cleaning supplies, 50% stake in Four Seasons Hotel and much more. He is simply finding a place to stash his cash and assets by diversifying his investments.  This he has only done after building Microsoft Corporation to what it is today. Where is your focus? Where do you direct your energy?

Reason #4: You Love Alcohol

Kenyans love for strong drinks cannot be pushed under the carpet just yet. However, many fall short of controlling their thirst for strong drinks. Ultimately, one becomes a slave to binge drinking. End result is irresponsible drinking, family negligence and misuse of money in uncontrolled drinking. Money never comes in such like a lifestyle and might become elusive for eternity. Drinking should be done responsibly in the most courteous manner or to be abstained from altogether.

On the contrary, one might argue the rich also love alcohol. Conversely, the rich drink on their hard-earned cash. They drink in the company of other rich friends in V.I.P. lounges, expensive and exclusive joints. They buy alcohol brands that are out of your price range. It would therefore, be unfortunate or demeaning to compare yourself with them. Have discipline to overcome. Visit a rehab for further guidance and counseling. Avoid alcoholic drinking joints and persons.

Reason #5: Your Love Life is Chaotic

You are known for sending expensive gifts to a bevy of beauties who have no qualms about sharing you with the other women you have. Surprisingly, you also pay their food and rent. It is important to understand that millionaires never grew into who they are by dating many women. They directed all their energy towards looking for wealth with one supportive woman by their side. With regard to matters of the heart, it is important for you to be discipline by avoiding overspending in a chaotic love life with many women. What defines your core values when it comes to dating? The mpango wa kando phrase is now the household name in town with unfaithful spouses blindly sinking into it. It has been proven that money never comes with a string of women to maintain, since your hard-earned cash goes into paying their monthly bills and other utilities. A number of women are also on the spot for moving with different men commonly known as sponsors. Unfortunately, for them, most of these sponsors are married men with families to maintain. You do not succeed by wrecking up someone’s else marriage. Redefine your love and social values.

Reason #6: You think you are the manager of the Universe

There are limits to how far you can go and how much you can do. In Luke 6:38, it is written that, “give and it shall be given unto you..”  The question to ask is, how far is far? Bill Gates, the world richest according to Forbes magazine has a net worth of US$90 million. Despite his vast wealth, he cannot buy the world even if he wanted to.

It is always good and generous to help  someone out who might be financially stranded. However, when you are bent to help everybody who comes begging, you might find yourself with nothing left to meet your financial obligations. Millionaires are known to give for a certain course or charity. You will find them taking part in philanthropic activities such as building classrooms, drilling boreholes in water scarce areas or buying mosquito nets for the prevention of Malaria.

On the contrary, you will not find them dishing out money to every boy, girl or woman who comes knocking. In their quest to get wealth, they have been blackmailed, swindled, conned and gone broke severally and know better than to give their hard-earned cash to everybody. Christ’s mission on earth was to seek and save the lost. He offered his life as a ransom for all. You are a human with limits and therefore cannot offer yourself financially to all. Give sparingly, take sparingly.

Reason #7: You simply do not want to be rich  

You shy away from conversations about money and wealth. You have a collection of fictional books and movie thrillers but can hardly read one page of a financial  newspaper or Bible (Ask TD Jakes). You watch TV and movies 10 hours running. You are waiting for that big break to fall from the heavens yet you are doing nothing with your hands. You have no bank account and if you have one, you do not know the account number. You hardly collect assets but liabilities that drain you of your hard-earned cash.

More so, you talk about enjoying life here and now and wonder why people are trying hard to save and invest. You are in a cyclone of debts and find it normal, saying life is hard. You have a University degree, nice family and a lovely wife and  say that is all that matters. You know the big guys in town who call the shots and think your proximity to them makes you rich, nothing could be further from the truth. You hardly give or donate but only take.

Furthermore, when you get good money after a long dry spell, all you think is upgrading your wardrobe with new clothing and shoes, partying with friends and buying the latest gadget in town. You let people play with your ego, telling you how rich you look so that they get something from you, yet in real sense you are struggling with debts. You sleep at 9 pm and wake up at 9 am.You have no a daily to-do list. You are ever on social media accounts including Whatsapp, Facebook messenger, Twitter, Instagram, snap chat as late as 2 am.

In addition, you are never grateful for the small favors, blessings, milestones you earn or get but rant and complain about everything. You fear success and do not want to appear to be doing better than your friends or common folk. You are waiting to be married by a rich man or marry a rich woman. You hang around broke people and call those who have made it proud yet, you have never approached them for financial advice or help in the first place.

Life is short and there is no point in making it any shorter by living it with full of financial challenges. Some mistakes are silly and painfully costly. Learn from the rich men and women who have made it and try as much as possible to implement every single idea they tell you. I am trying myself. Life is neither hard nor easy depending on what you choose to do and ascribe yourself too. Be open-minded and have access to the limitless possibilities life has to offer through great ideas and people. My desire is that the words written here will transform your life today and make you a better person tomorrow.

Have a great weekend.

Let me know your thoughts, through the comments section below.

 

 

Top 3 Tips for Overcoming Non-assertive Behaviour

 

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Last week on Wednesday, I was privileged to be part of an invite-only birthday party for my next of kin. However, those invited were given room for one or two friends. It was an evening birthday party held in one of the most exclusive hotel in my hometown.

So on my way out, I passed by one of my friend’s house by the name Larry. Ironically, Larry had many work assignments to do but alinishow hana form. I took advantage of his quagmire and asked him to accompany me to the birthday party. We arrived earlier than expected. Not being used to these five-star hotels, we walked in through the front door with our eyes asking for permission from the front door guard. A hall had been booked on the fourth floor for the birthday event. On entering, we found a bunch of ladies and gentleman chitchatting and giggling in one section of the hall. After a few pleasantries, with my friend Larry tagging along, we took our seats by the window overlooking the Eldoret-Malaba highway.

Sooner than later, a short, dark-skinned and plump young man walked in dressed in a white shirt, blue trouser, black leather shoes and a marching bow tie. He walked past the group of people in front of our table and went straight to the left corner of the hall. After taking a seat, he inaudibly signaled the waiter who came running like a presidential escort guard. From where I was seated, I could hear the him ordering for one glass of mango juice. The waiter, a direct contrast of his customer in shape and height, disappeared into a door leading to another room –should be the kitchen and came out carrying a glass of fresh orange juice and served the young man without any explanation. Well, do not get me wrong, I said orange juice. However, not his order, the young man seated, happily drank the juice without much ado.

Many are the times we express non-assertive behavior in our lives, therefore hurt ourselves in the process, and end up not getting what we want. Non-assertive behaviour is expressed when an individual chooses not to be open with his or her  feelings opting instead to be indirect and emotionally dishonest. An example of non-assertive behaviour is when someone tells you they are okey but that is not what their face expression says. Alternatively, someone could be telling you a sad story while smiling leaving his or her listeners confused on how to respond. Individuals expressing non-assertive behaviour usually get angry with themselves when they fail to get what they want by letting people choose for them. In other words, non-assertiveness is simply being passive. One ends being a doormat to many people. Such people usually free ride on the excuse that they are for peace and do not want confrontation in situations they have different opinions or do not want to express themselves openly.

Here are top 3 tips to Overcome Non-assertive Behaviour.

Tip 1#: Stop Shying

Shyness is a perfect companion for non-assertive behaviour. There is only one sure-fire way to overcome shyness. Reading articles on sites such as wikihow is good but it will not help you much if you do not take a personal initiative and break out of your comfort zone. Breaking out of your comfort zone means getting out of your anti-social closet by interacting more with people in situations you feel shy. Normally, whenever someone is in a situation that he or she feels shy, his or her first instinct is usually to stay quiet or leave the social setting.

However, for you to overcome, take a bold step and do the exact opposite by staying in situations you feel shy and try to speak up. As the old saying goes-practice makes perfect. Eventually you will master the courage to start up conversations and follow them through in front of people. Your newfound self-confidence will make you an assertive person.

Tip 2#: Stop Minding the Opinion of Others

When you start to be more concerned with the opinion of others than your own, you set the pace for pleasing people and becoming a doormat. Opinions are simply views or judgements over something. Opinions are not necessarily based on facts or knowledge but hearsay and partial truths. Always stand up and make your voice heard, regardless of what others will say about your newfound confidence. Some situations will require taking a certain action such as when your self-esteem is being attacked. It demands that you speak up against your would be enemies. Turn the negatives thrown at you into positives by always disowning the negatives. For instance, if someone tells you, “you will die poor”, tell them you do not believe them or ask them what makes them say so. In most cases, they will shut up or change topic. Stop minding about the opinion of others by getting into the habit of doing something extraordinary out of your normal demeanour. It could be changing the way you express yourself by speaking slowly and clearly. In being assertive the tone of your matters greatly. A timid,shaky voice does not portray assertiveness.

Tip 3#: Project a Confident Body Language

Besides word of mouth, our bodies can also communicate without uttering a single word. By looking at one’s body language, one can easily tell someone feelings on the inside. Most people will always look down whenever they are experiencing bad feelings. Interestingly, quite a number of people project this body language even when they are not experiencing bad feelings. Looking down when walking never projects a confident, outgoing body language. When walking, always ensure your head is held up high with your shoulders falling back. Avoid looking down when meeting people; rather look sideways than look down.

Learn to maintain eye contact when addressing or talking to people. Looking sideways and fidgeting never portrays a confident, assertive body language. One might say the elderly will consider this rude. I think it depends with where you come from. If that is the case, you can maintain eye contact when starting to speak or simply look at the nose bridge -hahaha and move your eyes to a particular spot when finishing your sentence. Oscillate between the listener’s nose bridge and your chosen spot until the conversation is over. Avoid anti-social body language such as walking or seating with crossed arms, speaking with hands over your mouth or face. An assertive body language commands respect and attention from your listeners and promotes resourceful social interactions. More so, it will help you overcome non-assertive behaviour.

Overcoming non-assertive behaviour is possible even to the most passive person out there. It calls for faith, practice and persistence on your part. Changes might not occur immediately,  but with time, you might run for a parliamentary seat in your constituency. Practice on the above mentioned tips daily without fail by getting out and interacting with mothers, fathers, your brothers and sisters in the society. Stop always minding about the opinion of others, only mind about what God saying about you. Opinions simply remain to be opinions. Finally, allow your body language to project self-confidence and not timidity.

Just so you know, the  birthday party was the best of its kind!

 

Discover the 7 Secrets to Breaking a Bad Habit

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A bad habit is like a shackle in your life. It can be very easy to acquire but very hard to let go. If you want to break a bad habit, here are seven tips that can be helpful.

  1. Stay Away from the Triggers

A bad habit does not just come about. A number of factors in your life could trigger it. For instance, sex addiction could come from too much exposure to sexual content in movies and watching pornography. Relentlessly discipline yourself to avoid the triggers at all cost. Read more about triggers here 

  1. Delay the Urge

Over time, a bad habit in a person’s life becomes second nature. It is like a reflex action. However, you can train yourself to delay the urge and think about what you are about to do. This act will slowly and gradually dissipate the urge to commit the bad act.

  1. Stay Consistent Day in Day out

Breaking a bad habit requires consistency on your part. You may find yourself smoking that piece of cigarette that you had made a vow never to smoke again. Don’t you get discouraged, stand up, dust yourself and remain true to the goal of breaking the bad habit. Consistency requires that you discipline yourself accordingly by totally avoiding the habit for at least three weeks.

  1. Withstand the Discomfort in the Process of Breaking Free

It is very hard! No need of lying to you. Breaking a bad habit has never been easy and will never be. A lot of discomfort usually accompanies the period of breaking free. This calls for patience and persistence on your part. Press past the discomfort with faith.

  1. Have an Alternative Behaviour

If you are used to checking your smart phone every 5 minutes even while  at your workplace, you could choose to keep the smart phone out of reach for a while until you are able to complete your work. Having an alternative action to a bad habit helps you substitute the bad habit with a good habit eventually breaking free from the bad habit.

  1. Have a Friend Who Can Hold you Accountable

Many people who want to break a bad habit always make a promise to never partake of the habit again. However, they fail to anticipate the opposite outcome and whenever they slip and fall back into the bad habit; they hate themselves for it and resolve they cannot change. People suffering from a bad habit should avoid being perfectionists and embrace the fact that they are humans who are bound to fail. It is therefore necessary to have an accountability partner who will hold you accountable for your actions and cheer you up in the run to freedom.

  1. Set a SMART Goal to Breaking Your Bad Habit

SMART goals are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-based. For instance, you could be struggling with the habit of masturbation. You then find out that one of the triggers to masturbation is reading pornographic literature. To break the habit, it calls for setting SMART goals. You could give yourself three weeks and resolve to avoid all the triggers to the habit such as movies, pornographic content. Rather watch comedies than movies that have sexual connotations in them. The goal in itself is SMART and it will give you the impetus to soldier on.

If a person is enslaved by a bad habit, he alone has the key to break it.  Without personal discipline, consistency and faith your desire to freedom might not be realized. Be happy because many have broken free and you will break free too.

 

Facts You Should Know About Dating

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I have occasionally attended youth retreats for schools, churches and colleges and whenever the topic of dating comes up, there is usually a wave of excitement that fills the air. Why this topic creates a lot of excitement in young men and women beats understanding. Interestingly, I realize that there are three key things that can greatly make people excited and curious. These things are namely: food, love and money. You will agree with me that I am 100% damn right on this.

It is important for youths to understand that dating involves matters of the heart and that they shall approach it with uttermost respect and the attention it deserves. Unfortunately, very few would care to learn about the fundamentals of dating. Conversely, they will learn about dating through a hands on approach. Do not get me wrong; I am not being judgmental. Besides experimenting with dating, they will also pick one or two clues from romantic movies and make them a reality. However, it is better to make things right in the first place than be sorry later.

Let us get to the core of things by talking more about dating. Dating is defined as a consistent appointment between two people of the opposite sex (though am meant to understand that there is dating of same sex nowadays) with the intention of knowing more about each other by assessing each other’s suitability for marriage. That said, note that there are two types of dating namely:

  • One on One Dating and
  • Group dating

One on one dating involves two single people going out on a date and spending time together to know more about each other. On the other hand, group dating involves a clique of single men, women organizing, and going out on a date with the aim of forming ties for a romantic relationship that will lead to marriage.

Definitions aside, problems begin when Jacob, a church choir member is seeing both Nancy and Mercy. Oooh My! You do not want to be the caught up in that mess. It feels heroic when Jacob knows that he can comfortably oscillate between two women. However, trouble begins when one day Nancy picks up Jacob’s phone. Incidentally, a message pops into the text box from a contact saved us msee wa makaa (charcoal seller). I see no problem in that. Everything is perfectly fine until when Nancy is tempted to scroll  the phone and open the text box. Wololo! I am not a Maraga but I can tell you freely that this is going to be a tough petition to be heard by I do not know whom. The content of the text message reads like “Bae unafanya? Nakufeel tu sana…”  (what are you upto baby?..feeling you so much)

Such like the above scenario are common to many reading this post. A majority of young men and women can relate to the story with laughter-filled mouths, probably because they heard about it somewhere or they were the villain themselves,breaking somebody’s heart in the process.  .

We need to understand that when it comes to dating, there are three groups of daters.

  • Never Daters

They are hardly seen with women and they do not date at all.

  • Ever Daters

They are always dating with different women at different times. You will never hear of them being single but go through break ups occasionally.

  • Healthy Daters

They date one partner at a particular period.

Most importantly, let us accept the fact that marriage was created and ordained by God. As such, God will only approve a relationship that gives glory and honour unto him. Unfortunately, some youths I know of have trivialized the bible as an archaic book that has no moral authority to dictate to them how they should live. Sadly, they have made movie stars (superficial characters that do not live the life they portray on television) their heroes. This is not to say that movie stars are bad people. In the mean time, click here for successful tips on dating.

This post is a dedication to all the single young men and women hoping to date someday.

Kindly read, share and leave a comment. You might bless a soul somewhere.