Is positive thinking an illusion, or is it the secret to living a successful and rewarding life? Can success be linked to a negative mind? I highly doubt that.
To start with, some believe that positive thinking is an unrealistic way to live life. They argue it’s akin to building castles in the air. Or rather, it’s like whitewashing your problems.
But we must agree that darkness and light cannot be in the same room. Take positive thinking to be the light and the negative mind to be darkness. All these can’t be in the same person.
Of course, we will not ignore the fact that there are specific areas of your life where you could be struggling with negativity.
If you are always a positive thinker, life will turn out to be positive for you. On the flip side, a negative mind will undoubtedly attract things that border on the negative.
Trailblazers, captains of industries, and great athletes always have this one thing in common: positivity. Not that they were born with a silver spoon, but over time, they decided that in the pursuit of their goals, no matter the hurdles, they embrace positive thinking and leverage it to achieve their goals.
Suppose you are torn between positive and negative thinking and whether these two comparisons exist or work; In that case, you may want to look at our list of positive thinking quotes from different authors and maybe use them as a panacea to counter a negative life.
Positive Thinking Quotes
“A positive attitude is something everyone can work on, and everyone can learn how to employ it”.
Joan Lunden – American journalist and TV show host.
2. “It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts”.
Robert H. Schuller, American televangelist, author, pastor, and motivational speaker
3. “I was determined to share my positive approach and not let diabetes stand in the way of enjoying my life”.
Paula Deen, American TV personality, Cooking show host.
4. “Say and do something positive that will help the situation; it doesn’t take any brains to complain”.
Robert A. Cook, Pastor, Christian author, and radio broadcaster
5. “Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will”.
Zig Ziglar -American author and motivational speaker.
6. “No matter what you’re going through, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, and it may seem hard to get to it, but you can do it and just keep working towards it, and you’ll find the positive side of things”.
Demi Lovato, American actress, and singer
7. “Always turn a negative situation into a positive situation”.
Michael Jordan, former professional basketball player, businessman
8. “When you wake up every day, you have two choices. You can either be positive or negative; an optimist or a pessimist. I choose to be an optimist. It’s all a matter of perspective”.
Harvey Mackay, American businessman, and author
9. “You’re going to go through tough times – that’s life. But I say, ‘Nothing happens to you, it happens for you.’ See the positive in negative events”
Joel Osteen, American televangelist, pastor, author, and businessman
10. “That’s my gift. I let that negativity roll off me like water off a duck’s back. If it’s not positive, I didn’t hear it. If you can overcome that, fights are easy”.
George Foreman, former professional boxer, entrepreneur, minister, and author
11. “Do what is right, not what is easy nor what is popular”.
Roy. T Bennett, Author of The Light in the Heart
More Quotes by Roy T. Bennett
12. “Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you choose wisely”.
13. “More smiling, less worrying. More compassion, less judgment. More blessed, less stressed. More love, less hate”.
14. “Don’t let the expectations and opinions of other people affect your decisions. It’s your life, not theirs. Do what matters most to you; do what makes you feel alive and happy. Don’t let the expectations and ideas of others limit who you are. If you let others tell you who you are, you are living their reality — not yours. There is more to life than pleasing people. There is much more to life than following others’ prescribed paths. There is so much more to life than what you experience right now. You need to decide who you are for yourself. Become a whole being adventure.”
15. “Start each day with a positive thought and a grateful heart”.
16. “Believe in yourself. You are braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you imagine”.
17. “Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create”.
18. “Good consistent habits are the hallmarks of a successful life”.
Job Kiniale, Life coach and author
19. “Do not allow negative thoughts to enter your mind, for they are weeds that strangle confidence”
Bruce Lee, Martial Arts instructor, and Philosopher
20. “This is one of the most important themes I want you to take from me: Stay as positive and upbeat as you can possibly be. I’ll say it many times: if you can dream it, you can be it”.
John Calipari, American basketball coach, won the NCAA championship in 2012
21. “At some point, you just have to decide you’re going to be confident. Then, as you do, you’re going to have more success”.
Mike Leach, American Football coach
22. “The originality of your ideas is an expression of the fertility of your mind”.
Wale Akinyemi, Kenyan author and motivational speaker
23. ” I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter”.
Walt Disney, an American entrepreneur
24. “You have to listen to the people who have a negative opinion as well as those who have positive opinions. Just to make sure that you are blending all these opinions in your mind before a decision is made.”
Carlos Ghosn, Brazilian born businessman
25. There’s nothing more important than attitude, and it’s YOUR choice.
Mike Krzyzewski, American basketball coach
Well, at the end of the day, quotes are just quotes. The thing is, you should be your own source of positivity. Let’s say quotes just come in handy to catalyze or unleash the positivity that is already inside it. Some quotes are going to make sense, while some will make no sense at all. You be the judge.
And that is it. Just like positivity is a choice you make, so is negativity. You can see that most of these positive thinking quotes are coming from people who have some significant success in their lives, whether in business, sports, or a calling. Join the positive champions by subscribing to our blog for more positivity tips via our free ebook.
Having a bad day? Maybe you missed a necessary appointment, a date failed, or your presentation turned out badly at an office meeting.
How do you keep it positive during the day or the rest of the week?
Notably, as humans, we will always have positive and negative thoughts flowing through our minds. That’s acceptable.
The negative thoughts you are having in your mind right now could be bad news, an awful experience, or a negative remark about you.
Is there something you could do about your negative thoughts and feelings, or should you let them settle in and make you bitter, angry, and miserable?
Don’t think about that route because we got eighteen positive thinking exercises that could be the antidote you need for your negativity.
Let’s get straight to them.
1.Pause and Take a Breath
Have you ever talked so fast? Maybe the MC called on you to give a speech at a family meeting or the wedding of a friend, and all hell broke loose.
After the speech, you don’t remember a word you said.
You let nervousness reign messing you up. You probably finished talking while burning up on the inside on how you made a fool of yourself.
Next time you find yourself in this situation, take things slow. Pause and take deep breaths.
Focusing on your breath will bring you back to the moment. You will stop focusing on yourself and get your mind to be calmer and handle the situation better.
2.Use the Mirror Technique
When you stand in front of a mirror, what do you see? Yourself, right?
Can you use positive words to describe the image you see in front of you?
Your comments could go like, “I’m confident,” “I’m in control.” I love and accept the person I am.”, “I’m fearfully and wonderfully made.”
You could make this a routine and do this every morning when you wake up. The positive words you speak of yourself keep you in a cheerful disposition, enabling you to handle the rest of the day with a positive mindset.
3.Believe you are Succeeding
It’s easy to give up when you see everything is going to fail. That is going to make you negative.
Whether it was a short-term or long-term project you were dealing with, you don’t want to go through with it as if you are forced to handle it.
In everything you do, believe things will work out, and of course, you will start coming up with ways of making them work.
Thank me when you succeed.
One other way to exercise positivity is to be active. A sedentary lifestyle is more routine and doesn’t count much in keeping you positive, especially when you feel negative.
Get out there and take a hike.
Lift weights, and you will feel you have pumped something out of your chest.
At the end of it all, you will feel more positive than when you started.
5.Talk and laugh at the Challenges you are facing
I didn’t say you share all your problems with the world, but making fun of them makes you ease up and stop killing yourself on the inside.
In fact, you will see them as usual and something temporal that you can go through and overcome.
When things get tough, we are constantly told, get tougher, but we should be careful not to do this at the expense of our health.
Don’t play strong when you are dying on the inside. Talk and laugh at life challenges.
6.Practice Positive Affirmation
Positive affirmations are positive phrases that you can repeat over your life.
They help you counter the negative thinking pattern you have always had and believed about you. An example of a positive affirmation could be, “I’m getting better and better every day.”, “I’m making it.”
If you are having issues with your self-esteem, you could tell yourself, “I’m a problem solver,” “I’m beautiful.”, “I adapt quickly to change.”
Repeating these positive phrases in your life help to change the negative thinking pattern you have had before.
Sometimes we set the bar too high, and when things go south, we hit at ourselves and put ourselves down.
That shouldn’t be you.
Accept that you are a human who is prone to err and give yourself a second chance.
8.Keep the Company of Positive People
How we feel can be infectious to the surrounding people.
If you enter a room full of happy and energetic people, chances are high you will be the most enthusiastic person in line.
The same is true when the people surrounding you are negative. You will be the next negative person.
If your company is always talking about scarcity, dirty politics, and rising crime, they will leave you with nothing else to see but only negativity.
The best way to think positively is to associate with positive thinkers.
9.Set Realistic Goals
To prevent negative thinking from creeping into your life, you need to be realistic with yourself.
One way we keep ourselves negative is by creating unrealistic goals that we cannot achieve.
Your goals need to be SMART. If it is a big goal, break it down into action steps that will make it more manageable to avoid burning out.
That’s how you go from negative to positive thinking.
10.Treat Problems as a Test to your Next Chapter of Life
Every cloud has a silver lining.
Whatever hurdle you face, always see it as a lesson to your next chapter of life.
No problem is permanent. Don’t look at the problem, but focus on the person you are becoming.
A life challenge or a difficult situation right now is a test to your next promotion in life.
11.Can you use positive words when Talking? It makes a lot of difference.
“Can’t work,” “Not possible,” “won’t,” “just surviving.” Use less of such words in your daily talk.
And if possible, avoid them at all costs when describing or referring to yourself.
Opportunities come dressed in overalls. When you cling to negative words such as above, “I can’t handle it better than Mr. X,” “it’s not my thing,” Then talk about what you can do best.
If you stick to positive words long enough, your mind will start changing towards a positive outlook of life, and you will see life isn’t that bad as you thought it was.
12.Track your Thoughts
We are good at watching other things but our thoughts. That’s how negative thinking finds a way into our brain, develops into a pattern, and becomes second nature to you.
Learn to keep track of your thoughts. Treat negative thoughts as passing clouds and let the positive ones settle in.
Some thoughts will make you angry, bitter, or unhappy with yourself.
Yes, those are the negative thoughts you should track and identify whether it is a pattern that you can drop altogether instead of allowing them to take root.
13.You Could Use a Little Help from an Inspirational Book
Are you a reader? If yes, you could use your reading habit to be a positive thinker by reading the inspiration books around you.
Reading about someone succeeding or going through a similar problem and overcoming it will motivate you.
You will be optimistic and open your mind again to endless possibilities to overcome your hurdles.
14.Be Happy Where you Are
I get it. The pay isn’t good. Your relationship is turning out differently than you thought it was. You wish to live in a better place than where you are right now.
Holding these kinds of thoughts only makes you miserable and negative.
Is there another side of the coin?
As Dr. Joe Vitale, “The fastest way to get where you want is to be happy with where you are.”
Life is a journey, and the difference between where you are and where you want to be is time. What you are doing with the time you have is what brings the difference.
15.Analyze a problem for what it is and find the best solution to it
Okay, you are heading to a destination North, and you just realized you don’t have enough bus fare. That’s a problem.
Should you sit down and start counting the other problems you face and how they are making you miserable, or should you find a workable solution to the current situation?
The fare to Destination North = X
Cash available = Y
Cash needed = X-Y
How to raise (X-Y)
Check your emergency fund
Borrow a loan
Ask a friend
Postpone the journey
You just analyzed a problem and found out solutions to solving it. Could you use the same approach to solving other challenges in life instead of crying at your problems?
16.Let go of the Past
The past is the last second. Whether you were bombarded with success or failure, it just remains the past.
Don’t bask too long in the glory of the yesteryears. Neither should you tarry longer than is healthy for you in your past failures.
To move forward as fast, you need to make peace with your past.
You cannot change what happened in the past, but you can change your present for a better tomorrow.
Dwelling on the past makes you negative, killing your optimism in life.
17.Count your Blessings
It’s easier said than done. But start counting, and you will get shocked.
In your pursuit for success and a better life, you have taken for granted the things you worked hard to gain.
The smartphone in your hand just gave you the privilege to read this blog post from the comfort of wherever. Ooh no, you are in the toilet? Hahaha.
But you get the drift, right?
That time you feel you are losing it; when your life gets you between a rock and a hard place; when progress seems to be slow, count your blessings.
You will find yourself more optimistic about handling the present challenges better.
18.Embrace your Inner Child
It helps to be playful sometimes.
Children are always animated and have little time to worry about their problems because, well, there is always someone standing by to take care of it.
Getting playful can change your moods. Like a child, you can trust in a higher power and let go of your problems. Play and let go.
In Matthew 11:28, we are told to cast our heavy burdens to Jesus, and he will give us rest.
Isn’t it positive to know that you cast your burdens on someone else?
Positive thinking exercises are excellent to make you get rid of negativity in your life. You may not master them in a week or even a month, but keeping them with consistency will make you more optimistic and a positive person in life. You can also subscribe to our blog and grab yourself a free e-book on staying positive.
Is positive thinking a choice or people think negatively even when they don’t want to? The truth is, people, gain negative thinking patterns just as they would positive thinking patterns. The sad part is, people embrace negative thinking patterns more than positive ones without their knowledge.
What do you look like inside your head? There those who see the glass half empty, and others see it as half full. In other words, those who see the glass as half empty are pessimistic, while those who see the glass as half full are optimistic. Embracing negative thinking instead of vivacious is akin to being sick because it leads to a lack of peace and mental stress.
This article talks about positive thinking and how you can use it to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Let’s get moving.
What is Positive Thinking?
Positive thinking is focusing on the bright side of things. It’s choosing to see the light when everybody around you sees darkness.
I don’t mean it literally.
Positive thinking doesn’t mean that you ignore the bad in your life. On the contrary, it means you are conscious of the dark side of things happening in your life, but you choose to remain optimistic and confident about good things coming.
Children are born innocent until they pick wrong cues from their parents, siblings, and society. However, as you grow into an adult, choose between positive thinking and negative thinking.
Out of the heart, the mouth speaks. You will spot a positive thinking person by their perceptions about life issues and how they approach unpleasant situations. How you speak about your life is an accurate reflection of who you are on the inside.
Positive thoughts will lead to positive self-talk. On the flip side of things, a negative mind will speak what is always negative.
For me, I would say reading the Bible has made me a positive thinker. You may not be a believer, but the Bible can turn the most cynical mind into one that thinks positively.
Positive Thinking for a Healthy Lifestyle
If positive thinking were not riches, I wouldn’t be talking or writing about it. Positive thinking is a source of healing and strength to your spirit and bones.
What is your self-talk on money, relationships, career, and family, for example? When people check on you, what are you always telling them? Do you rant about the terrible weather and your pain in the butt, boss, or you choose to focus on the positive and tell them you are doing well?
Here are the benefits of always focusing on the positive side of things:
You will cope better with stressful situations
Perfect physical and psychological well being
Longevity in life
A healthy immune system against the Common cold.
Reduced chances of cardiovascular diseases and death.
Reduced levels of distress.
How to Develop Positive Thinking in your Life
In most cases, when the mind is in a state of anxiety or suspense, it always thinks of evil or something terrible happening. Imagine your spouse coming home an hour later than the time you always expect them.
Your mind will race you through all the bad scenarios it can imagine, only to realize later on that your spouse was held up in a meeting or got caught up in a traffic jam.
Or maybe your loved one is suffering from a chronic disease that doesn’t seem to go away. You have invested so much time and money in treating your child, but there has been little progress so far.
Given the degree of the challenge, you will feel burned out, stressed, and have too many thoughts, which in most cases are negative.
Well, the good news is that you can learn to unlearn such negative thinking in your life. We offer you some ways you can learn positive thinking in your life.
Focus on the Good
We don’t live in a perfect world. Shit sometimes happens. But that shouldn’t give you a reason to cloud your mind with negativity. Imagine missing a flight? Or a necessary appointment?
That is going to cause you much stress. But on the flip side, there is never a problem without a solution. And if no solution is available, the problem is manageable.
If you missed the critical appointment, tell yourself you can schedule another one at a reasonable time.
Keep Company with Positive Thinkers
The people you spend most of your time with determine whether you will be a positive or a negative thinker. Stay with the positive ones, and you will be the next in line.
I once dreaded marriage because I had kept the company of people who felt that marriage wasn’t worthwhile and led to lots of frustrations and loss of freedom.
The truth is, no marriage is perfect, but you can choose to work on yours to make it look like you want it to be. If you stay close to positive people longer, your perception of life will be positive, and you will also have higher self-esteem.
Recently, while attending a Mind Wellness class, the instructor was quick to point out the importance of being thankful.
Practicing mindfulness helps you forget the bad and start focusing on the good. The instructor pointed out that we need to point out something that worked well at the end of each day.
Talk about having a gratitude journal. Practicing gratitude improves your self-esteem and optimism in life. It’s an easy pathway to positive thinking.
Also, it will help you navigate the difficult time in your life.
If you are not a fan of humor, maybe it’s time you start being one. Past studies on humor have found it to be stress-relieving.
Humour also helps you get rid of depression and anxiety. Learn to embrace humor and laugh heartily. Numerous stand-up comedy shows could help you crack your ribs for a moment.
Play nice and allow yourself to laugh. Laughing, in itself, has been said to be a mood booster.
Start your Day Positively
How you start your morning determines how the rest of your day will be. You want to begin with stuff that will uplift you and give you the energy to sail through.
I pray and listen to uplifting music. The great motivational guru, Tony Robbins, has a unique morning routine for fifteen minutes that keeps him fueled up for the rest of the day.
Here is a summary of his morning routine:
Moving and breathing ( five minutes )
Emotional State of Enormous Gratitude ( five minutes)
Incantations/Mantras (five minutes)
Your mornings don’t have to start like that of Tony Robbins. You could come up with your way of starting your day positively.
Practice Positive Affirmations and Self-talk
Everyone has a voice in their head that speaks to them either negatively or positively. Positive thinking demands that you have positive self-talk.
We can be hard on ourselves, but it also helps to look at ourselves like a normal being prone to errors.
Learn to be optimistic about yourself by being mindful of your self-talk. Instead of telling yourself, “I can’t afford it.” Give yourself to possibilities by saying, “How can I afford it?”
Fix your negative areas
If you are not a positive thinker, chances are high; there are negative areas in your life that you are yet to identify and fix. Maybe you hate it when people tell you what to do.
This isn’t wrong because you can’t have it all figured out, but you may have created negativity around it, making you negative.
Or maybe you always turn negative at work because of one reason or the other. It would be best if you identify these areas and correct them.
You could also use help from people around you to identify your negative areas.
Positive Thinking in Difficult Times
Positive thinking doesn’t mean suppressing your negative thoughts. Feel free to allow the negative thoughts to come by but make them a passing cloud.
This might be near impossible, especially when grieving or going through a difficult period in your life. But trust me, you can still choose to have positive thoughts.
The trick is not to focus on the problem at hand but embrace the support of other people. Also, look into ways you can be supportive of other people.
Imagine yourself giving advice or encouragement to a grieving person; what would you tell them? You are likely to tell them you know how they feel and that you have been there before.
I know you will tell them that it’s okay to feel that way and then encourage them and gently remind them that it will pass.
Practice Positive Thinking Everyday
Practicing positive thinking every day in your life is extremely rewarding. It will reduce negative self-talk, improve your self-esteem, and change the perception of the world around you. Positive thinking has a direct correlation with your health. Positive thinkers maintain good health, while negative thinkers are prone to stress symptoms and heart diseases. Choose your path today. We offer you a free e-book on positivity that will help you practice positivity every day of your life. Subscribe and grab your free copy.
Do you build better relationships with people, or you are the person people keep avoiding?
If you are not building better relationships with people, you are doing a great disservice to yourself because all your blessings, your increase, and abundance will come through people, and to be more precise a man.
Well, how often do you communicate with the people you have saved on your phonebook?
Unfortunately, sometimes you can spend both time and money searching for solutions to your problems somewhere else when you are actually carrying those solutions and moving around with them.
Why so? Because you stopped valuing the contacts on your phone book, and you felt you needed new ones. You feel they need you, but you don’t need them. That’s the problem you got, man!
I didn’t say you should not network and build new friendships. But equally, you shouldn’t ignore old friends just because you feel they aren’t significant in your life.
Build Better Relationships with PeopleNo Man is an Island
Show me a self-made man, and I will show you a liar. Even if you were to learn a skill on YouTube on your own, someone had to post that video for you to find it there.
Life has some honest and straightforward truths that we always keep ignoring yet cost us our money, time, and other resources.
Because you were once poor and now have begun making money, you start feeling you should cut off your friends because you feel they don’t measure up to the current you.
You feel they are pulling you down.
You feel you can call people who matter and forget about the ones you feel can’t bring a significant change in your life.
The success you are looking for is not in heaven. It’s on earth, among the people you keep ignoring. Some of these people look cheap and primitive, but they carry your blessings.
In John the third chapter, twenty-seventh verse, John mentions that no one can receive anything unless given to him from above.
If the Lord is going to release your blessings, he will release them through a man.
He is a Spirit being. You don’t expect him to come down from heaven and bless you. But he will use his servants and other people as vessels of his blessings to bless you.
Similarly, he can also use you for his noble purpose that you may be a blessing to someone else’s life.
Here is why you need to build better relationships with peoplein 2021
1. All great testimonies are connected to man/People
Was there a time you gave a testimony that wasn’t connected to a man? The far you have come is because of the people who have been around you.
In 2nd Kings chapter 13, we are told that Moabites used to raid the land of Israel. In one raid, they found Israelites trying to bury a man. Out of panic, the Israelites threw the body on Elisha’s graveyard. When the corpse touched Elisha’s bone, the man came back to life.
The point I’m passing across is that all your blessings will come through a man.
If you start counting your blessings, every one of them has been through people.
You needed a man to guide you through the course selection you took before joining campus.
A man was instrumental in enabling you to close the deal on that business you are running today.
If married, it’s apparent that you met your wife through people. The bottom line here is that your blessings came through a man.
2. There is Nothing you are Trying to Achieve that a Man hasn’t Achieved before
Now, the world is said to be 4.5 billion years old. Think about all the people who have lived before you.
If you were to get a chance to meet some of them today, which isn’t possible, of course, everybody would have a story to tell. They would tell you about the dreams they had. Their goals and what they were able to achieve.
Talk about any field, career, vocation, or calling in the world; there is nobody that hasn’t gone before you. That tells you something. To succeed, you need people for the apparent reason that they have gone ahead of you. They have learned from their failures and are wise enough to share with you their experience.
In 1 Kings 19;19-21, Elisha left everything he had and all he was doing to follow Elijah. Of course, he followed Elijah because he wanted to be like him – a prophet. The only way Elisha could become a prophet was to learn from another prophet.
3.There are People you Ignore in your Life, yet they Carry your Blessings.
In 1st Samuel 16, the great prophet in Israel, Samuel had visited the home of a farmer and a herdsman, Jesse. The Lord had sent him to anoint the next king of Israel after King Saul had lost God’s glory because of disobedience.
After vetting all the elder sons whom Jesse thought were the best fit to be kings in Israel, none was found to qualify.
Little did they know that the youngest son in the home, David, carried the family’s blessings. He was the one who was anointed to be king in Israel after King Saul.
Had David not been a king in Israel, Jesse would be another man in Jesus Christ’s genealogy. But more fundamentally, him being part of Jesus Christ’s genealogy already put him in the records of Bible history.
To his brothers, David was a sheepherder and a messenger to run errands in the home. But what God saw in him is not what others saw.
There are people you keep ignoring and delude yourself that maybe they amount to nothing in your life. But they could be the very people who will make a mark in your life.
4. Some People will Take you to Greatness because of your Small Assistance in their Lives.
Your greatness could be lying in your remote assistance to someone else. Years back, I happened to be walking with two of my peers along a street that led to the main town center. Along the way, we met an older man who was pushing a loaded wheelbarrow.
Seeing us passing by, he requested our assistance. My peers ignored him. Deep down, I wanted to help the older adult, but I fell into peer pressure.
I regretted not helping the older man. Honour is not much of a hefty price to pay. And it could open other blessings you never imagined you would ever have in your life.
The story goes of a bright young lady in a particular village who had just won a scholarship to undertake her higher education in the United Kingdom. I will call her Rachel.
While at home, Rachel used to run their family shop at the nearest trading center. Almost daily, an old village man used to pass by the shop. His better days seem to have gone by, and he wasn’t much of a pleasant sight to look at.
All Rachel could do was greet him and offer an empathetic smile. But you won’t believe it when I tell you what the greetings of Rachel led to.
Just before she flew abroad, the older man got wind that Rachel was flying to the UK in a few days to come.
The man got in touch with Rachel and asked her for a walk in town. They headed over to the nearest bank, where the man withdrew money over $2000/Ksh.200,000 and handed it over to Rachel.
All for what? Greetings? Honour? Her case was not even about offering any assistance. By just showing respect and greeting the older man, she received her financial blessings.
5. A Man will Mentor You.
Had I not met with Walter Akolo, the Freelancer Kenya founder, I wouldn’t have begun my freelance writing journey.
Walter runs two popular groups on Facebook. Remarkable Freelance Writers in Africa and Awesome Transcribers in Kenya.
Through these groups, Walter has mentored and keeps mentoring thousands of people in their journey as freelance writers and internet marketers.
You feel you are good at something, but you need a man as a mentor to shape you in your craft. But you will unleash your potential better when you have a mentor to walk you through every step of the way.
God uses older men in the faith to mentor young ministers in the gospel. Timothy had Paul.
In Ruth 3, we see Ruth’s mother-in-law, Naomi guiding her on what to do to win Boaz’s heart. Thanks to Naomi’s motherly advice, Ruth got married to Boaz. The two are part of the genealogy of Jesus Christ. What a wonder!
6.You need to let go of a Man who Has Become a Burden.
Build better relationships with people because, among them, there is a man there who carries your blessings. On the contrary, men could also become burdensome. In that case, you may have no option but to let them go.
You are not the manager of the universe. There is a limit to how far you can go in helping or standing with someone. And it sometimes happens that a man could become a burden for one reason or the other.
Some will take advantage of your generosity. Others will be too much to bear. There are some tasks you can’t involve some people because you know they will be a burden.
Take the example of David and Hushai in 2nd Samuel 15:33-35
The Bottom Line
See it this way. If you are the person who keeps ignoring people intentionally, know that you are ignoring your blessings. However much you have achieved or how far you have income in life, you still need people.
When life misfortunes come knocking, which no one is immune to, you will need the same people you think you don’t need to stand with you.
I have a list of unconventional wisdom nuggets to share with you before we wrap up 2020.
I’m not mean. Whatever I learn, you learn and we move forward together, don’t we?
We are just counting a few hours into the new year. I thought it wise to write this post before we cross over. Isn’t that the next big thing? ama ni pekee yangu nangoja kuvuka mwaka?
People always have their own reasons that makes them loathe the month January. From where I live, it’s the month that the sun is always hotter than ever with a dusty wind blowing you right, left and center.
It makes your lips appear dry and cracked. Ooh January!
Never mind that you made your deep pockets shallow during the festive season. All on what? Eating and making merry? By the way, Christmas is the only time people meet with their larger families, so its worth spending an extra coin, right?
13 Unconventional Wisdom Nuggets
I have lived long enough to know when someone is making me to look stupid or would want to take advantage of me.
Some bad events in my life have occurred not once but twice because of my sheer lack of keenness about lessons I should be learning in life.
And so while traveling from one town to the next, I put together this list I call unconventional wisdom nuggets to break down life for what it really is.
Be wise about life and thank me later. On the flip side, play with fire and get burned.
Unconventional Wisdom 1: Don’t do Business with Relatives
I have been a keen reader of life enough to know that business with relatives is never the best of arrows to use in your quiver.
If things go south in the business, you will have yourself to blame. You will be the loser and there is little you can do to seek redress.
Where in the world will you take your uncle or cousin? to the police? C’mon you know where this ends.
I didn’t say they shouldn’t be your customers. They can buy from you as much as they want but don’t make them your business partners.
The case of Tuskys Supermarket downfall in Kenya arose due to siblings rivalry and greed. It was a family business. Though not directly related to what I’m trying to say, to some extent it rings a bell.
Relatives will take advantage of your blood relationship to manipulate you, steal from you, or simply tarnish your reputation.
Relatives should remain relatives unless it’s an immediate family owned business with well learned people.
Unconventional Wisdom 2: Lend Money you are willing to Lose
The person who comes to you to borrow money is never the same when you call them to ask for your money back.
Most people when borrowing money are always humble, respectful and honest looking till they get hold of your cash.
While this is not always the case with all the people who borrow money from you, a lot that happens is bad news.
All hell breaks lose when they don’t honor their promise and you have to keep calling them to ask for your money back.
Some will be outright rude, or feign sickness that they have never suffered from before.
To keep your piece, lend money you are willing to lose or choose to be called stingy. Haha. Apply some unconventional wisdom in your money dealings.
3. You Can Give Money to Strangers but Lend
People can be sly. And mark me right, I’m not being pessimistic or negative. I have a first hand experience of some of things I’m writing about.
I met a lady online doing Network marketing. She befriended me asking me to join her network marketing team but I politely declined.
However, she was very persuasive and kept posting images of Mpesa transactions showing her team members making a kill.
Still, she didn’t woo me in. All I asked her was to train and mentor me to be a good network marketer so I could get the skills and use them to my own gain.
She agreed to my request and said there was nothing for free and so I will have to pay her $15/kes1500 for the training.
We agreed that I shall be paying the amounts in bits. We had known each other for less than 3 months when one Friday, she asked me for kes300 to be returned on Monday.
I send her the money because it’s the money I could easily spend on lunch. That was the last time I heard from her.
Any person you have known for less than a year is a stranger. Don’t commit to them any valuable resources you have. The trick with them is always to stay closer to you as possible, know your vulnerabilities/weaknesses and pap!
They strike when the iron is hot.
4. People Watch your Actions not your Words. Tenda Mema
A lot many times we are always easy with words. And beware of people who talk to much. Even the Bible warns against to many words for in them sin is not absent.
Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut
Proverbs 10:19 (NLV)
Almost always, people have a leeway with words. You get caught in a compromising situation all you have to do is to use your mouth to absolve yourself from blame. Aren’t lawyers making money with law interpretation and words?
However, we easily forget that people will hear your words but also watch what you do after. Be the person who keeps promises no matter how small.
You want to be the person whose yes will be a yes and no a no. The common Swahili saying goes “Tenda mema nenda zako”
Kenyan politicians have a way with words but a large zero on their report cards. A typical Kenyan politician could easily sing his way to parliament, get their and pass no tangible laws or mismanage CDF funds.
He later comes back to his constituents in the next election with a bag of empty promises and sings his way back to parliament again.
Unconventional wisdom dictates that you be a man of your words by honoring them through right actions.
5. Bosses are the Most Unliked People Hahah
Sorry for being brutal with the truth here, but people seldom love their bosses. Most people sulk, whine, and loathe their bosses/managers for myriad reasons.
Sometimes the juniors complaining are right but some other times they are wrong as well. Your boss could be the insecure type who isn’t happy to see you outshining them. This is because to them that means you are about to take their position.
According to the 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene, it’s never a wise move to outshine your leader or boss.
However, sometimes people outshine their bosses even when they are not trying to. And that alone is enough reason for tension and friction in the work place.
On the same knot, some bosses have character issues or are either poor at communication and this really creates a lot of friction with their juniors.
Nevertheless, not all bosses can be branded as bad. Some are really good mentors and can groom you to heights unimaginable.
If you can’t tolerate your boss, find another one or start working for yourself and quit your current job. It’s easier said than done, right?
Unconventional wisdom denotes that working for yourself is the surest way to grow rich.
Where there is a will there is a way
6. Motivational Gospel vs. Doctrinal Gospel. Be Grounded on Absolute Truth
Well, I began by saying I have some unconventional wisdom to share with you as we wrap up 2020. Some of my wordings are going to be a little bit radical.
You are free to share your reservations in the comments section below.
I’m a believer and ascribe to the fundamentals of the Christian faith that Jesus was born of a virgin Mary, died, resurrected, ascended high above the heavens and he is seated at the right hand of the father.
He is our great advocate and intercessor before the father.
As believers, we are in him justified he is us glorified.
However, I have been in the church long enough to hear lots of sermons from different preachers and pastors of the word. I can only come to one conclusion: Much of what is touted as the gospel isn’t doctrinal but more of motivational/prosperity speeches with little grounding on doctrine.
The sad part is that people or rather churchgoers have been so accustomed to the prosperity gospel that when you introduce the gospel about who you can be in Jesus and how you can build a strong relationship with him, you look like the liar.
You become boring to their itching ears.
It’s true that believers are inheritors/partakers of the Abrahamic blessings. You will also agree with me that believers have been asked to seek God’s kingdom and his righteousness and all things shall be added unto them. But our focus shouldn’t be on the blessings, it should be on God and his kingdom and other things will be added.
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
Matthew 6:33 (NLV)
Let me Preach 🙂
Unfortunately, believers today practice the above verse vice versa. They seek things first then God later. By seeking things first, they pray less, attend fellowships less, study God’s word less, and everything less.
And this situation most likely stems from insufficient to zero grounding on doctrine because of wrong teachings of the word or none at all.
For example, do believers give because they are blessed or they will be blessed? Everything Jesus has done for the believer is in the past tense. Any gospel talking about Jesus will do is another gospel.
For the non-believers, Jesus will do, because they are not yet in him but for the believers he has done it all. But wait, Jesus did it and finished it all even for the non-believers.
He will not come from heaven again and be crucified to save those who don’t believe. All they have to do is believe in the finished work of the cross, repent and seek to grow spiritually.
I will not teach but I would encourage you to start listening to preachers of grace such as Joseph Prince, Abel Damina, and Andrew Wommack.
7. Build True and Genuine Friendships with People
I know of people in my phonebook who will only call because they are in distress or need a favor.
Once they get what they want they vanish only to remember you when they are in trouble again.
Those are not friends. I refer to them as parasites because they only show up to ravage on your resources. They are like the devil who only shows up to rob, kill and destroy.
To amount to something in this world, you need people. You can’t keep behaving in a way that makes them second guess you and expect their support.
If employed, never make a mistake of believing all your office colleagues are your friends. When you lose your job, a few will keep in touch or even remember to say Hi.
That’s when you will know who your true friends are. Sorry but true friendship is about give and take. You have to sacrifice you time, money, skills and energy to keep your friendship blossoming.
8. Guardian Angels in Life are Real. There is One for You
Sijasema uexpect malaika atoke heaven anafly, Lol! Unconventional wisdom denotes that their people in your life who will always vouch for you even when you suck sometimes.
I’m a freelance writer on the sidelines. While looking for work online, I happened to bump into my guardian angel.
We met in one of the Facebook freelancers group. We were all looking for freelance writing work. He happened to get one sooner and even asked me to lend him a hand.
He loved my work from the word go. Since then, he has always been referring me to potential clients over and over. Even when I seem to do a poor job sometimes, he still believes in my skills and ability to deliver.
We always share our joys and successes and keep encouraging each other in the freelance journey.
I believe everyone has this kind of person in life. Someone who is always rooting and vouching for you.
Methinks this kind of situation arises when you have proven your worth and are reliable in your craft or skill.
9. How Good are your Negotiation Skills? Believe me When I say you Can Negotiate through anything in Life
I recently got married. I’m from the Abaluhya tribe in Western Kenya. According to our customs, a young man intending to get married has to pay a bride price of 13 heads of cattle. And 2 goats to accompany the cattle.
Add to this pesa ya baba na mama na pia kashopo. Hehehe. I’m not done. There is always another interesting list of demands like gumboots, shoes, walking stick, hat, kabuti kwa English ni? and bla bla.
So before a young man cements the marriage relationship with her wife to be, it’s a must he pays dowry unless aibe tu. 🙂 What precedes dowry payment is dowry negotiation.
In my case, I had very good negotiators who gave me a breather during the dowry period. Phew!
The message I’m trying to drive home is that you can negotiate through anything in life. Be it a job interview, a business deal, a contract and you name it.
You may not be the best candidate for the job but the panel may ask you “Why do you think we should give you this job?”
Negotiate! I repeat negotiate.
My Upwork Story
I’m a freelancer on Upwork and at one point my account got suspended indefinitely. UUUUiii. My account was dormant for so long because I kept bidding for jobs in vain.
I had also followed some bad advice from an acquaintance that got me suspended from the platform.
I was suspended from working on the freelancing platform. It was on 24th of April 2018. One of the darkest days of my life.
Well, I was so disappointed to say the least. I started telling myself I’m not cut out for writing. I took a break and forgot about writing on Upwork for a while.
But something changed in me after getting inspired by Walter Akolo’s weekly emails in my mail box.
I chose to appeal their decision and Alas! These guys accepted me back. Couldn’t believe it. I was shocked I could be this good in making a case. See the screenshot below.
Check the date. hahah I had given up on Upwork for almost two years. Oooh man. Giving up is easier done than said.
See their response below
One of the happiest day in my life this year was on the 31st of January this year. My Upwork account was reinstated.
Currently, I have an ongoing contract on the platform.
You can negotiate through anything in life. You can go to the American embassy in your country and negotiate on why they need you in there country. ooh yes!
10. Siblings should Learn Teamwork Early before Adulthood
My dose of unconventional wisdom is still here.
Siblings! please! Learn team work when you are still young and leaving in your parents house. It becomes difficult to do anything meaningful as a team when you haven’t built this culture during childhood.
With age comes more responsibilities. Once you get a job or start a solid business, as a young adult, you are expected to move out of your parent’s home and start paying house rent and other bills.
Sooner you get married and you gonna start changing diapers. With your own family responsibilities, it’s increasingly hard to merge your resources with your siblings to run a project at your home place.
In most cases this happens, if you had never built the culture of doing things together as siblings.
As adults, one sibling is always trying to win the support of the rest in vain. It’s only through calamities or catastrophic events that you find such siblings pooling their resources together.
It isn’t the perfect scenario if you ask me. Build team work early in your family.
11. Borrow Money and Invest
The statement – Poor people save, rich people invest sounds like an insult to the efforts of the poor to becoming rich. But it’s another brutal truth you can’t ignore.
The poor and middle class save most of their hard earned cash in banks, SACCOs and microfinance institutions. The rich and wealthy or rather those with a wealth mentality go borrow this money and invest.
Ten years down the line, the investors are richer, the savers are not even an eighth of their financial goals.
I would say this, don’t just save because of the 50/30/20% rule. Save with a goal for a certain period of time and go invest that money.
It’s better you buy a flock of sheep that give birth every 9 months than put your money in a bank that gives you less than 9% interest per annum on your annual savings.
Bonds and shares are other better investment opportunities you could explore.
Also, think of ways you can multiply your income streams to manage your current lifestyle. With more income streams, you will have more to save and invest.
Don’t be afraid of borrowing huge loans via your payslip to invest. That’s what the rich are doing and moving forward.
Economics teaches to you to manage scarcity or what is there. So, for how long are you going to manage your salary? Unconventional Wisdom can teach you better.
Kes10,000/= in 1999 could buy a lot more than the same amount of money in 2020. I bet you are wise enough to see that. So why not invest?
12. Learn Early What Works for You so You Can Save Much Time and Energy
This reminds me of the common saying that life begins at 40. But sometimes we tend to waste much time with things that aren’t cut out for us.
The world, I believer would be a better place, if people knew well enough their purpose and calling. But what is the situation now? We are being defined by our education system and not who we are deep on the inside.
Someone went to school and studied Computer Science but their passion is not even in Computers but Agriculture. But society will want to pin you down by your degree and not your personal interests and passions.
In the journey of life their things you try overtime and they come to work out really well. On the contrary, some flop terribly.
Watch yourself, and know your strengths, skills, abilities and most importantly your passion so that you can leverage them into your destiny.
13. We have Many Success Stories but Few Tangible Mentors
In the West, when a simple, down to earth individual becomes a billionaire, you hear later they published a book or a memoir about their journey.
Of course not all millionaires or billionaires in the West do become authors. In my country, success stories are all over, but you can count real tangible mentors who can walk with you through the murky waters of success in life.
That tells you something, the individuals behind the success stories are shady. I don’t mean to say all successful people should publish books. I don’t hate the rich and not all wealthy people are shady but you need to look at the top billionaires in Africa and make your case.
But the least they can do is to mentor young people to be the giants they can be. My hat off for the Zimbabwean tech and media billionaire Strive Masiyiwa.
Strive has been using the Facebook platform to mentor young people into entrepreneurship and self-employment.
A challenge for you: Become your own success story and mentor someone else into your path.
This is the longest post I have ever written on this blog. Hope you found it intriguing and interesting. There is more I could write but I feel 3000 words about unconventional wisdom are enough for today. I leave to read and be the judge. If you want to join this discussion, feel free to leave a comment below. Wishing you a prosperous 2021.
Really? Do good things come to those who wait, or is it just one of the many statements with white lies we know of?
The other question is wait for what things from where? BBI team? Jubilee or Uncle Sam?
The Waiting Wilderness
The world today makes you want good things thick and fast. So how in the world are you going to wait for good things to come your way?
Someone the other day was wondering why I haven’t bought a car yet. Hehe. We panga maisha yako achana na yangu boss!
In fact, I’m tempted to believe that the social norm today is not about being rich, it’s about looking rich. It’s about the perception you are rich.
So, all a young man needs to do is buy a fancy car? Some fancy clothing and build some mansion in the village or in a suburban plot of land somewhere and bam! You are damn rich men! Even with no money in your bank account or valuable assets.
Yet society will perceive someone walking in faded blue denim jeans and a Jubilee Tuko Pamoja T-shirt as poor. Hahahhha
The irony is this guy could be yule msee when you are cash-strapped and all your friends and enemies have turned their backs on you. Ye ana mali but hucheza chini, you get?
Yeah, the aforementioned scenario is an accurate reflection of the happenings in society today. Instant gratification, over expectations, flamboyancy dot the material world of vanity.
You are entitled to your opinion but the wisest man to have lived saw all these and he wrote in his book of Proverbs 13:7 (NIV):
One person pretends to be rich, yet has nothing; another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth.
A young man coming out of University wants to be paid Kes 60,000/ USD600 on their first job. Bro! I like your ambition, but people begin from the bottom and rise the ladder.
Sit and Wait or Act and Wait?
The statement “good things come to those who wait” shouldn’t be understood to sit, do nothing, and wish for some miracle to happen.
In the process of waiting you invest in yourself and build good habits that will make you a better version of yourself.
What are your dreams? or what is your purpose? Who do you want to become?
If you are serious about your dreams and what the future holds for you? then you should learn to wait. Fast or quick isn’t always right. Well, it could also be right but not the best for you.
Waiting doesn’t mean drowning in alcohol and indulging in sensational sex to feel you belong.
It’s all about taking responsibility for your life and make every decision you make count.
How to Wait
1. Get Busy and Productive
I will use a common saying here again – An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.
You have 24 hours in a day. You can choose to get engaged and productive or idle and destructive.
I have seen young people getting busy and keeping off activities that would destroy them. Similarly, I see young people who keep destroying themselves.
Jack, a young man I know is a great footballer. Daily except for Sunday, he is always on the football pitch training for the next tournament. Rarely do you find him sleeping in bed idle.
In three words, he is fit, disciplined and focused.
He knows he can be a great footballer and that’s why he invests time in fine-tuning his gaming skills.
Mary and Ian
Mary is in the Praise and Worship team in their church. Often, when you go looking for her or ring her, she will tell you she is church singing or praying.
How about Ian? He is always in his father’s business stall, helping him run the family business. He has little time for reckless and irresponsible living.
Ian is learning to be a business man, doesn’t he?
A Stark Contrast
On the other hand, Allan, is the exact opposite of the two above. He eats large chunks of food but he is very idle. And have you noticed how idle people get hungry very fast? Hahah
Allan can spend the whole day binge watching movies on a laptop or the TV set and chatting with ladies on the phone.
Mark you, we live in a time and age where you can read Personal Development books on your Smartphone or study a free course online.
Farming today is no longer a reserve of the old in society. Young people can embrace it and Allan is no exception.
Because of his untapped strength and idleness, Allan occasionally fornicates with young girls in the neighborhood. Ignoring the fact that he could contract STDs, get impotent or killed with Viagra or sire a baby he isn’t ready to take care of.
He also secretly goes for house parties, smokes weed and drinks lots of alcohol. Ooh poor boy! Bad habits die really hard.
And I don’t hate men, ladies have their fare share too. Laura has been caught severally by her parents sneaking. She does this in the wee hours of the night.
And for what reason? To drink and sleep with her boyfriend, old enough to be her father. Pathetic!
2. Keep Good Company
Guys! The truth is simple and plain or plain and simple? Ni kizungu ilikuja na meli but you get my point, don’t you?
Have you noted that if someone is trying to explain something simple to you in so many words either he is lying or not sure of what he is saying?
I come tell you, “Bad company corrupt good morals” I mean what’s so hard to understand about that? Or should I speak in French? Okay I will but sio sa huu.
In the waiting period learn to keep good company. Learn to walk with people you admire and aspire to be.
Even amongst your peers, some are better than you in life skills. You can learn something from them, right?
Good things come to those who wait by keeping good company.
3. Pray Without Ceasing
Prayer is a form of communication.
But in this case, you are not communicating to your friend but a higher power or deity – God
I know young people who pray. But a majority don’t. How I wish they could learn the secrets of prayer early in life and build this habit all the way.
Prayer invokes the power of God over natural situations in your life. It generates tremendous power to cause seismic shifts in your destiny and mold you to the person your maker wants you to become.
Prayer aligns you with the vision and purpose of God over your life.
In your waiting time, don’t sit idle. Join prayer caravans and seek God with all your heart. Walk with the prayer warriors and see your life get transformed.
And for the record, you don’t have to be in church to pray. Are you traveling? pray. Seated somewhere? Pray. Walking in a park? pray. If you can communicate when driving it means you can pray when driving.
I feel I haven’t written enough of this post. But hope you understand it the way I’m trying to. Good things come to those who wait and you better learn to wait. Life is a journey and you need to enjoy your time in the waiting wilderness. Because you are going to remember those days when you get over with them.
What does it mean to keep your words? I understand it to mean doing what you promised.
If you were to hold yourself accountable for keeping your words, what score would you give yourself on a scale of 1-10?
People can fail to keep their words on almost everything, but I find the aspect of failing to keep their words on matters of time and money more outstanding.
I’m still trying to figure out whether this is a Kenyan pandemic or global.
Did you fail on your Promise, or Someone Failed You?
For instance, people sound almost always sound very genuine when asking for help with anything, be it money, or a material need.
Trouble begins when they fail to keep their words, and you have to follow them constantly to remind them about doing what they promised.
And for the record, no one is an angel on keeping their words. You and I both know that once in a while we have been caught between a rock and a hard place in honoring our words, right?
But there is always a way around this: Communication. Rather than waiting for a follow-up call or visit from the person you owe the words, it’s better to explain yourself to the receiving party and assure them you are still on course in doing what you promised.
Wisdom dictates that you don’t make promises you can’t keep.
I once traveled with someone I will call a colleague because we once worked together in the same company.
A colleague can double up as a friend, but in this case, he was jus a colleague to me.
Mark as I would call him is always this silent and humble-looking guy who appears harmless even to hurt a fly. Unfortunately, beneath the humbleness was a mix of slyness and trickery.
The guy asked me for a “ruabe” – 200 bobs, claiming that he doesn’t have enough fare for his destination. He promised to refund the money in a week’s time.
Oh boy, I’m still wondering to date whether the one-week period came and went or it’s still coming.
My gut feeling strongly advised me against the move. Poor me wasn’t quick to smell dishonesty in the young man.
After constant reminders and calls that went unanswered, I had to let the money go. A perfect case of someone failing to keep their words.
Do you want to improve your life or do you ever think about improving your life? If so, that’s a good thing. It means you are development-conscious and you want a better version of your current life.
On the contrary, the process of improving your life is not as easy as you may think. It is as hard as coming out of your comfort zone. Like a child learning to walk, break out of the current you into the former you.
Improving your life means investing in yourself so you can be better at something. In the marketplace, being a jack of all trades never sells. Therefore, for you to stand out, you need to offer more value than ordinary folk.
I’m sorry if you expected me to talk about money. Young adults you will have to bear with me here. Money should be a means to an end. And that’s why billionaires keep making it when you think they have made it already.
So. let me cut to the chase. Here are four ways you can improve your life.
1. Enroll for an Online Course
The world is a global village thanks to the digital space we live in currently. With a smartphone and internet bundles from your telecommunication provider, you could easily get a certificate or diploma from MIT.
Young people through college shouldn’t waste their precious time editing their social media profiles repeatedly.
Take advantage of the free online courses on the internet today to have a vantage point in the marketplace. Whether it’s at your place of work or in your business, an online course helps spruce up your work skills.
Coursera is a common online course platform that you could study lots of courses, whether free or paid, and earn yourself a certificate. For the record, the Ministry of ICT Kenya is in partnership with Coursera to provide workplace skills for the Kenyan youth.
You can download the Coursera app on your phone and keep going.
Improve your life by studying some more so you can earn yourself a fortune.
2. Learn a New Language
Whether local or international, a new language can open you to other frontiers in life. Which language are you interested in? Is it French, Swedish, Chinese, or the local language of your country? Start learning it right now.
Similar to studying an online course, learning a new language also makes you valuable in the marketplace. Multinational companies would be happy to hire an employee who is bilingual.
If an entrepreneur or doing business, learning a new language will open your venture to more marketplaces.
A translator who knows has the added value of working with people from different walks of life.
To get moving, quickly download the Duolingo app on your smartphone or desktop and start learning. It’s never too late. They teach you a new language at both basic and intermediate levels.
3. Practice Mindfulness
A lot is happening in the world today. You are lucky to be alive if reading this. The world economy is now grappling with a pandemic. We have lost lives. People have lost jobs. We have lost businesses and some are struggling to maintain valuable relationships.
Against such a catastrophic backdrop, it helps to maintain your mental health. One simple way to practice mindfulness is by meditating.
Early in the mornings or late in the evenings, set aside time to meditate and have a serene time with your thoughts. Don’t make it harder, so you give up faster.
A meditation could be as short as three minutes or as long as 20 minutes. May you have been thinking about a way you can have more mental clarity or focus. Or maybe you are looking for some relaxation after running up and down the entire day and want to ease some tension? Meditation is what you need.
Start off by downloading the Headspace app on your phone and get shit done. By practicing mindfulness, you let go of the tension, the worries, you become more productive, improving your life.
4. Interact with Better People than You
If you are ever the best in your circle, you better start thinking of finding a new outfit. It’s only by challenging ourselves that we can improve our lives.
The common adage goes that birds of the same feather flock together. You are wise if you surround yourself with people who you want to become like.
“I have no successful people around me?” You may ask. Though important, you don’t have to interact with successful people physically to feel you are doing something worth your time.
You could interact with their ideas online. Read their books, listen to their podcasts, and watch their shows. It’s that simple.
What do you want or what is it you are looking for? A successful marriage, wealth, to be an accomplished entrepreneur. You name it! Society is never in lack of trail blazers and icons in your line of interest.
There is nothing I have recommended to you on this post that I’m not doing myself. Young people, especially if single with some money in their pockets, have a lot of free time they could use to improve their lives
We all have 24 hours in a day. You could kill it with loose women and men or binge-watching on Netflix, but it’s your life anyway, right? Nevertheless, if you want to improve your life, try out these four tips, and let’s talk later.
The digital space has made a lot of online resources more available at our disposal than we could ever imagine. You are just an app away from improving your life. Whatever journey you are on in your life, there is always something you can do to make it better.
Your success is what you envision in your mind. It’s not what you see in other people. If you are with me here, let’s move on.
Everything you ever want in life is inside within you. God and the universe can only help you accomplish it. But everything starts from within you.
A typical example I may use is the one for the Facebook founder, Mark Zuckerberg. Facebook was once a mere directory used in Harvard dormitories.
Mark began experimenting on the Facebook idea when he was a sophomore at Harvard, together with co-founder Dustin Moskovitz. The rest is history.
Julian Kyula, the Senior Pastor, Purpose Centre Church, Nairobi is the founder and former CEO of Mode, a mobile decisioning company that lends airtime credit to its consumers.
Having worked with Credit companies in the US, Mr. Kyula used his knowledge and experience in the industry to open his company valued at millions of dollars. You can read more about Mode here.
Create your Path
Well, those are some examples of successful startup stories in the US and Kenya. I’m not encouraging you to be a start-up founder. You need to know that everything you can create in this world is within you.
The success stories of the aforementioned examples were just a decision away. Mark would have continued with his Computer Science degree and shelve his Facebook project. But he thought otherwise.
If you are a student, please don’t drop school. Create your own path.
Kyula would have continued living in the US, earning a six-figure salary in a first world country. Living the American dream, right? But there is something he discovered within him that was far beyond his job.
Think Long term
Young people! Please be patient and appreciate the value of hard work. Whether you are working for somebody or are self-employed, keep your attitude right, and keep grinding.
I can assure you a successful idea will come and it will be from within your mind. Shortcuts in life are there but they are the longest routes bedecked with regrets, pain and frustrations if you come to think about it.
A young man deludes himself that when he hooks himself to a sugar mummy for riches in exchange for sexual favor, that’s a well cut out life for him.
That’s akin to dancing with a bear and sooner she will eat you up. Young ladies! Being a second wife or side chick to a rich man doesn’t make you successful. There are some evil seeds you are sowing and you will reap them later.
Young people should give themselves grace, believe in themselves (God already believes in you), and work hard because there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
And if you think you have seen the success, you have seen nothing yet because your success is in your mind.
What entails an honest relationship? And if you have caught yourself lying in a relationship, what triggered the lie?
Ideally, everyone wants to be virtuous, but not everyone wants to practice the virtue of honesty in their relationships. As you are reading this piece, take a moment right now, and examine your relationship? Do you think you have been honest with your partner? From childhood unto our adulthood, our parents bred us to know that lying is bad.
An honest relationship entails being honest with your partner at all times. By being open to each other, you create a loving environment that is healthy and long-lasting. According to Depaulo, author of the book Detection of Lies in Forensic Concepts, people perceive individuals with the highest number of lies as irresponsible, manipulative, and are hyper-conscious of other people’s thoughts. Besides, they are more extroverted than people who tell fewer lies.
Between you and your partner, who lies the most? You know the answer best.
Keeping Things Honest in Your Relationship
Honesty in a relationship entails being authentic and transparent with your partner on issues, including the ones you feel are most insignificant. We live in a real world, and it helps when you are more real than living in fantasy.
It’s understandable that you all come from different backgrounds and each one has their own perception of life. For you to build a thriving relationship, it’s important that you share your different perceptions and build one out of the two.
To achieve an honest relationship, you and your partner will need to implement important practices that involve speaking the truth, not intentionally omitting information, never intentionally misleading them from the truth.
Why Practise Honesty in Your Relationship?
I will be straight to the point: It’s the only way you can have an intense and intimate relationship with someone. Relationships that thrive on lies seldom last for long, and if they do, it takes a lot of effort to build the trust back.
Also, for the two of you to build a meaningful relationship, that is full of trust, honesty has to be part of the foundation. A simple way for someone to trust you is to show that you can be honest with them.
Anyone in a functional relationship will attest to the fact that a healthy relationship comes from building and maintaining an open and honest communication with your significant other.
At this point, it’s important to mention that you will also have to exercise some discretion as you attempt to be an honest partner in your relationship. Being honest shouldn’t make you rude, unkind, or insensitive with the truth.
What Honesty is Not
Truth sometimes hurts, and you shouldn’t use it intentionally to harm your partner. You can package and deliver it in a more sensible way. Now, honesty is not revealing everything you feel and think. Because you feel your friend or acquaintance is hotter than your partner, you will not tell that to them, won’t you?
Be truthfully honest and not brutally honest. I’m learning this myself.
Similarly, you may have issues you feel not comfortable bringing them out to your partner. It’s okay to feel that way, however, you need to let them understand how you feel. They will understand you better and will put you at ease to talk about it.
There should be no secrets in relationships. That’s what marriage counselors keep telling us repeatedly. But as a partner in the relationship, you may have some confidential information from a third party that you don’t feel comfortable sharing with your partner. It’s important that you share your concerns with your partner and let them understand why the information you have is confidential.
The Three Forms of Lies: White, Real, and Gray
According to Erin M. Bryant (Trinity University,2008) there are three types of lies: The white lie, Real and Gray. Of the three, the white lie is the most common. According to the research, white lies lack malicious intent and people often use them with a benevolent intent or to convey a partial truth.
For instance, you could be sick and resting, but you tell your partner you aren’t to prevent them from worrying. White lies have trivial consequences, and people always prefer using them because they find them harmless.
A similar case could be when the wife tells the husband she enjoyed his meal because she knows there will be no consequences to it. .
What about grey lies? These are beyond white lies, hmmm? But you can’t categorize them as actual lies yet. On the same knot, you can’t use the parameters you used to define white lies to define the gray ones.
Byrant broke down gray lies into two categories: The ambiguous gray lies and the justifiable gray lies.
Ambiguous gray lies are completely false, but you could use them to help someone. For example, telling a full-blown lie to your boss or employer to cover your colleague. So they have gray areas because to one party it could be a lie, while to the other party it isn’t. In the case of justifiable lies, they could be real lies, but justified within certain reasons.
A justifiable lie is one that you completely fabricate to protect yourself or the other person from dire consequences. In the context of a romantic relationship, what do you think could qualify as a perfect example? 🙂
According to Byrant, Real lies are ““unacceptable lies that are malicious, self serving, complete fabrications of the truth, that hold serious consequences”
Let’s face it, as humans we are prone to mistakes over and over and we use these lie types unknowingly to cover our asses. The question is, which of the three types of lies and their consequences are you and your partner comfortable living with?
Think about it as you navigate your honest relationship journey.
How to Practise Honesty
1. Express How You Feel
Which is easier? Expressing how you feel or bottling yourself up? It does you more good than harm when you speak rather than shutting up. Honest communication with your partner saves them the trouble of having to second guess your thoughts or next move.
Sometimes men find it difficult expressing themselves. You say, “I would rather avoid confrontation”. Well, speaking up does not outright lead to confrontation. It’s healthier for you, as it will help you avoid resenting your partner and forming a history lesson.
Have you ever reminded your partner what he/she did a year back? They may never be in a position to answer because they never remember the nitty-gritty of the event. It helps to always express how you feel.
2. Communicate Effectively
An open, honest communication is good but effective communication is far much better. To communicate effectively and understand the feelings and thoughts of your partner better:
Make use of “I” statements
Be clear about your thoughts and feelings
Avoid defensive listening
Validate each other’s feelings
3. Know Yourself
To practice honesty better, it pays to understand yourself. You won’t be good at maintaining an honest relationship if you don’t know about you. Take a step back and separate yourself from people’s opinions and the perception of society on you.
If by any chance, you embraced a harmful personality that doesn’t reflect you, then you need to drop it for the sake of being honest about your relationship with your partner.
An honest relationship is achievable. If you are a young couple and just starting out, embrace honest practices in your union and your relationship will go far. Everyone wants to be virtuous, but not everyone wants to put in the hard work that reflects virtue. Regarding honesty in your relationship, practice honesty by speaking the truth, not intentionally omitting information and not misleading your partner about the truth. If you found this piece helpful or feel you want to put your thoughts into it, let me know in the comments below.